Even the Valravne acknowledged the fact that it is impossible for an undivine being to know everything, from the days of yore to the ones to come, from what is written in the temple of shades in letters as dark and unwelcoming as the void to the true name of the King of Demon Lords.
Unless.
Unless the three Seals on the Scroll are at last severed, and the voice of the Allknower makes the earth tremble once more.
The Scroll appears like any one, maybe a bit faded. Three forbidding wyrm heads keep it from opening, and being opened. The first and weakest has burning eyes that gaze at your very soul, piercing through the closed visor of a black helmet. He is known as doubt. Second in power is guilt, the head with the earring in the shape of a snake, which he wears because he is just like one. The strongest of the three won’t tell you his name, since you will know who he is as soon as you meet his gaze.
These three are the Seals, ever-loyal keepers of forbidden knowledge.
Because that is what the Scroll holds. Knowledge of all that has happened in the memory of the worlds, of what was there before them, of what the dead have gazed upon. And, of course, how to revive them so that they may walk the earth once again.
The Allknower saw everything, and forbade the undivine from doing the same.
It is all in the Scroll.. Along with a curse. A pitch-black curse that will feast his eyes on the look in yours when you realize what you have done, and what others will do when you are long gone…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
Hello there!
I am still getting into my review voice, so excuse this if it doesn't make much sense!
This is very eerie! The idea of some being that knows everything in the universe is common, but the Allknower seems to be less of a cliché. It's neat that this is written as lore or urban legend than a story from their/it perspective! That is common, but this format choice helps add mystery.
Mystery leads me to... what is the point? I could just be particular, but I don't understand what you've intended to do with this short story. One character is fleshed out, but that is all I am taking. I can't discern it from flash fiction or worldbuilding, and either of those need more expanse.
Speaking of that, there is a lack of 'lore' for the world that the Allknower exists within. It can't be too all-knowing then, haha! Is it a very high fantasy world, or is it like the world is today?
I'd say to write down what you envision - the Allknower forbids the undivine, sees everything, i.e. there has to be more!
Cheers!
-- Lykke
Hello there, Mask! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the macabre S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Here is a document of which tells me about The Allknower, a mysterious being who knows everything about the universe and keeps it in a scroll sealed by three snakes who will most certainly undo the mind of anyone who dares to read it.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I love the way that you described the snakes, they all are representing different things and I think that’s really neat. The scrolls sound like they are fatal to open, but then again, humans have done fatal things before, have they not? I also like how you wrote this as though it were an ancient text that I am not supposed to see, something hidden with time.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a lovely piece! If you ever decide to expand on this universe, I will be sure to read the rest of the stories so that I may know more. If you don’t plan on adding more, then this is fine on its own and I will leave my mind to interpret the rest. Now…
I wish you a glorious day/night! ^v^