Fight...a recent song

by MaitrePrinceRebel

Published July 29, 2005

Deleted

Comments & reviews · 9
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Corncob
Review
Corncob wrote a review Review · Jun 17, 2014

Holy crap. This is beautiful. Omigod. I love it. i love it. i love it. this is the best piece of writing I have ever witnessed in my life. Keep writing. you are great. Omigod. Omigod. This is true artwork. I am slowly clapping right now as I weep. this is so great. omigod. Omigod. It's so touching and so true and not cheesy at all. this is amazing. Where did it go? You deleted it,,,

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nothingxelse Comment
nothingxelse commented Comment · Aug 13, 2005

i agree with..um..everyone, it IS beautiful.
"and i wonder as i'm falling forward, where do all the good hearts go?"
i love it. keep writing!

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Harley
Review
Harley wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2005

It's beautiful. Really, really beautiful. Writing and singing your own songs helps me feel better too - they're unique and personal and nobody has to hear them but you. It's great that you've shared them with us and i sincerely hope you keep writing.

MaitrePrinceRebel commented Comment · Jul 31, 2005

Thank you all, I'm chuffed that you guys like it..I totally get what you mean with commas and dots but to me its alright..the only reason the comma is there is because theres a pause and I didnt really know how to signify that without it...searching for a flaw doesnt sound right to me...I dont really want to speak proper english in my songs..I find it difficult enough when I'm talking! But you're all darlings and I enjoy the feedback REGARDLESS of how pernickety it may be. So thanks!

Bella xx

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Rei
Comment
Rei commented Comment · Jul 30, 2005

What they said. Interesting choice in metephore. It was used really well. That stuff usually goes right over my head, but I understood this just fine.

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niteowl
Review
niteowl wrote a review Review · Jul 30, 2005

First off, I never gave you a gift. So here you go: :D :) :( :o :shock: :? 8) :lol: :x :P :oops: :cry: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :wink: :!: :?: :idea: :arrow: :| :mrgreen: :xmas_wink: :xmas_happy: :xmas_cool: :xmas_evil: :dreidel: :menorah: :frosty: :thumb: =D> #-o =P~ :^o [-X [-o< 8-[ [-( :-k ](*,) :whistle: O:) =; :sick: :-({|= :-$ :-s \:D/ :-# :hearts_eyes: :love: :lots_hearts: :elephant:

Second off, I love it. It's really beautiful. But there are a few grammatical errors in the first verse. I'm guessing it's that way to go with the music, but I'll point them out anyway in case they're not.

Eyes so wide, searching a flaw
Misery had not yet, lined these walls


"searching a flaw" might be "searching for a flaw" or that could have been the way you intended to write it. The comma in the second line is out of place.

And there's a couple .. where it should have been ... Yeah I know that's a silly error, but I like pointing out the silly errors.

Great job! Keep it up!

MaitrePrinceRebel commented Comment · Jul 30, 2005

emotion_less wrote:This is really beautiful.. I'm not playing the sympathy card either... this honestly is really awesome. I especially like the second part of it. Very nice.


Thank you darling..means alot to me :)

Bella xx

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emotion_less
Comment
emotion_less commented Comment · Jul 29, 2005

This is really beautiful.. I'm not playing the sympathy card either... this honestly is really awesome. I especially like the second part of it. Very nice.



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