Mirror

I. Am. In. Awe.

Hiya! So I saw you follow me and post on my wall, so I decided to check out your writing! Now then, when I saw "Mirror" and its description in your portfolio, I got excited and was already intrigued. I think people perspective of beauty and society's relationship are always so interesting and eye-opening. And your poem didn't disappoint! I can relate tor. I love the line looking in the mirror and not always liking when you see, so you have already established that connection with the reader. I love the line, "...and in the end they'll lose/ For now. however, while they learn, they'll have to survive reviews". I think it's beautiful and I love how you're standing up to society because you know you're right, you know you're beautiful and that there there is no such thing as "beauty laws" although society insists there are, so you just have to wait for them to learn themselves and "survive their reviews". On the other hand, maybe it was just the way I read it, but the flow seemed to get a little choppy at times, but maybe that was just me. Overall, I think this was a great poem with a powerful message! A job well done!

Hi Magenta, Subtle here for a review.

Wow, just wow. This poem speaks out so dynamically and truthfully about our society. I also love the language you used in this poem, the rhyme is also well-placed as it doesn't seem forced at all. I just generally love this whole poem really, because it says things most people don't dare to say.

Lies may hurt but truth hurts more when you know that society

Will hate you for the way you look with such immense a piety.

But they don’t now there’s more to looks and in the end they’ll lose

For now, however, while they learn, you’ll have to survive reviews.

Great work, I must say.

I love that it rhymes, but the lines aren't all the same length of syllables, so when you read it it's not like listening to a rap song.

It speaks of truth and reality, obviously, which is a hard concept for most people to accept, since, like you said,

"Lies may hurt but truth hurts more..."

Which is my favorite line. I also love your quick snippet at the end about reviews. In the end, I'm glad I read it.

I also like your connection to the looking glass, and the mirror, mirror on the wall, which has been a long lasting topic in much of the world of fantasy.

Thank you Magenta

Hello!!
First off, I think that this was a very nice written poem. It tells the real truth. If you read every sentence by itself, it all fits together perfectly. I also love that this poem rimes. A lot of poems are very good like yours but they're even better when they rime in my opinion.

Even though I think that this poem is very good, there is some flaws. But doesn't all poems? First off like "fictional" said the now in "but they don't now there's more to looks and in the end they'll lose" should be know. But that's just a minor meaningless mistake. Also there is only periods in some sentences.

I don't like to pick on other peoples writing but I think that it is good for you to learn from your mistakes. Anyway once more your poem was very good. Like Green Tulip said " it has such a powerful emotion behind it- realization.

Beautifully written - a shame that this poem has so few reviews so far. I like the strange number of syllables per line - sounds to be an odd number. It's pleasing and disconcerting.
The message is just what we need nowadays. What are "flaws" exactly? Who makes the "beauty laws"? And what does "ugly" even mean? (Rhetorical questions, just so you know)

Just a couple things to point out here:

"But they don’t now there’s more to looks and in the end they’ll lose"

*"now" should be "know"
~
"She isn’t very pretty and she has a bunch of flaws

That there isn’t one single thing that fits with beauty laws."

The word "that", beginning of the second line, sounds awkward and out of place. You may want to change it to "and", or just put a semicolon after "flaws"
~
My favorite part is this

"Lies may hurt but truth hurts more when you know that society

Will hate you for the way you look with such immense a piety."

Especially your clever use of the word "piety" - well done.

I also like the very last line - it made me think. Thanks for writing!

Wow....that is one of the words that I can use to describe this poem. It has such a powerful emotion behind it- realization. The poem touches upon the one thing that society is well known for- turning away those who don't look a certain way. No matter what the deal is with everyone in society, it all comes down to the fact, that is you are not what society as a whole thinks you should be- you don't belong. You are forced to find a way through life, believing the image you posses it something bad, and you spend an entire life time changing, just to try and please them. This poem is a very good representation of that. I loved this poem and it was very well done. I love how you managed to pull in the fact that in the fairy tales, they always have a mirror on the wall that shows them the beauty that is expected within a society. A good write, good job.