Bon jour mes amis! Here's my third part to Charlie and Logan. I have decided to mix Charlie giving birth to Addison with the night that Charlie and Logan first meet. While I was writing this I had some questions that I was asking myself regarding both of them before they fell in love with each other. Charlie is a teenage bad-girl and Logan is a married man going out to clubs and meeting multiple different women. I guess making them so different from the people you first read about is my way of showing how people can change when they meet the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Anyhoo, criticism is much appreciated! Enjoy!
~Luxy 
***
Another wave of agonizing pain shot through my body and I let out a scream. My thoughts were surrounded in my baby. Was she okay? Was she going to die? Could I give my life to save her's?
"Charlie!" Logan cried mournfully. "Charlie!" His voice grew faint.
"Logan!" a stern female voice said. "What the hell-" Her voice faded. "Logan, is this- is this her? She's pregnant!"
"I fucking know that! I need you to see what the problem is!"
My vision started to fade from clouded to black. Another jolt of pain made me scream again. Everything began to muddle together. Sights became puddles. Sounds became buzzing noises.
Seconds became minutes. Minutes became hours. Hours became days.
Pain became everything.
"...ruptured... pressure from the... caused significant damage... fatal to the baby..."
My screams became more terrifiying. "No! My baby!"
"This woman needs an OR! Now!" the doctor yelled.
***
"Lea, come on!" I squealed, dancing around in my four-inch stilettos. I twirled around in front of the mirror, admiring my skinny body that was clad in a black t-shirt dress. My long, wavy dark brown, almost black hair was pulled into a high messy bun and I was ready for a long night out. The only thing missing was my best friend.
"Coming!" Lea said, tottering down the stairs in my house. She had her pale blonde hair in a teased side pony and was wearing a strapless silver dress. From her black clutch, she pulled out our fake IDs. "Tell me again how you convinced me to do this," she drawled, placing my ID card in my waiting hand.
"Because you love me," I teased, sliding my ID into my bra. Lea and I had been best friends since elementary school, despite us being polar opposites. Lea was the calm, perfect girl who aced her grades, had the boyfriend who cared about her, and was effortless at pleasing the people around her, even if she hated them. I, on the other hand, was the wild-ass genius girl who almost everyone hated. I had a thing for one-night stands and talked like a sailor. We had always been there for each other.
"Yeah, well if the cops bust us I'll be chopping you up into little pieces and hiding them in the walls," she joked back. "My car or your car?"
I laughed evily and jingled my keys in the air. "Mine. I don't want you to be mad if I have a guest with me." Lea rolled her eyes and grabbed her jacket. I gave out a fake cackle and grabbed my well-loved Harry Potter sweatshirt.
"You know, I'm not really an expert on this, but I seriously doubt any guy is going to want pick you up while you're wearing a Harry Potter sweatshirt," Lea commented as we slid out the door and into the frigid winter wind. Both of us slid into my old, yellow Yugo and slammed the doors shut.
"I think they'd rather know that I'm a geek than know that I'm sixteen," I said through chattering teeth. I fumbled with the keys and put them in the ignition. The engine groaned and I thumped my fingers against the steering wheel. "C'mon baby!" I said, patting the dashboard. The car roared to life and I cheered. "That's my baby," I cooed steering the car out of my driveway.
"This car is a piece of shit," Lea mumbled, putting her hands on the heat vents.
"Hey, hey," I said cheerfully. "Don't hate on my car." I laughed and handed her my iPod that was hooked up to a tape player. "Your choice darling."
She shook her head with a chuckle and took the iPod from my hand. The sound of the Runaways' 'Cherry Bomb' filled the car and I gave another cheer. "Yeah!" I turned onto another street and headed into downtown. "This is the shit, dude!" Lea simply shook her head and smiled while singing along to the music. Twenty minutes later, we rolled into a parking lot a block away from the club we were going to. I opened the door and slid out, pulling my sweatshirt tighter around my body.
"I don't think that's going to help very much," Lea commented with a smirk. She put her hands in the pockets of her tight leather jacket. "Plus, you don't have enough body fat so it just makes it worse."
I kicked powdery snow in her direction and skipped ahead. "Whoa!" I said, sliding slightly on the ice. The heels of my shoes made me wobble. Small snow flakes began to fall and made the city street look like a winter wonderland. I stuck my tongue out and let some of the snowflakes fall onto my tongue and melt. Turning to look at my best friend, I saw that she was taking a picture of me with her phone. "Lea! What the hell are you doing?" I skittered back over to her and made an attempt at snatching her phone from her hand.
"Cataloging," she laughed as she held the phone out of my reach. "That was a great picture oppurtunity, so I took it." She clicked save and pocketed her phone, grinning at me. "Why wouldn't I take a picture of my best friend? You're so cute!" She pinched my cheek and linked our arms together. Together we strode down the street in the direction of the club. Putting her head on my shoulder, Lea said, "We need to find you a boy."
"Hon, I really don't need one," I said nonchalantly. "I am perfectly content with my one-nighters. And I know that makes me a ho, but you know me. When have I ever given a damn about what people think of me?" I gave a her my perfectly-imperfect smile.
"I just worry about you," Lea sighed. "What if one of these days you fall for one of your 'one-nighters'? What if he hurts you?"
I giggled. "That would never happen."
"Please be careful though," she pleaded. "I can't lose you."
"You're not going to," I said, looking at her warily. "What brought this on anyway? Its not like anything has changed since last week regarding my... activities."
"Hmm..." was all she responded with.
"Well don't worry," I told her. "We're going to have a great night out. Let's just focus on that." I kissed her cheek in an attempt to comfort her.
"You're right," she said, her gloomy mood slowly evaporating. "Alcohol. Dancing. More alcohol." We both laughed and got into the line that was forming outside the doors. It was eleven o'clock by the time we got up to the bouncer.
"IDs ladies," he grunted. We handed them over and he glanced at them for not even a second. "Alright, go on in," he said, handing us our IDs back. It wasn't a big surprise that we'd gotten in. We both looked like we were eighteen already. To them, we just looked like younger twenty-one year olds.
"I could so go for a few beers," I said, going through the dimly lit hallway that led to the dancefloor. The bass was pounding and there was already a massive amount of people dancing on the floor.
"I don't know how you can drink that shit," Lea said as we both made our way towards the bar. "Why don't you try a nice Cosmo once in a while? It'd be good for you. Branch out your horizons a little bit." She laughed and I punched her arm lightly.
"Yes, well, maybe you should branch out. All you drink are your fruity drinks," I retorted, leaning my body against the bar. I turned my head to the bartender and said, "I'll have a Miller Lite. She'll take a Cosmo."
"Coming up, darling," he said with a wink. Both Lea and I turned away from the bar to survey the crowd. There were several men that had already caught my eye. And I could tell that I was catching several of their eyes too. One of them in particular made my heart stop like no one ever had. He was over six feet tall and had an extremely well built body with clearly defined muscles. His dark brown hair was kept short and he had the darkest eyes I had ever seen. When he flashed me a crooked smile and raised his beer bottle to me, I nearly jumped out of my skin. "One Miller Lite and one Cosmo," the bartender said, placing the drinks in front of Lea and I.
"Thanks," Lea said, taking her drink and taking a careful sip.
"Hey," I said. "Who's that?" I asked, leaning my head in the man's direction.
The bartender laughed. "Him? That's Logan Miller. He's been in here a couple of times with a few of his buddies. He's a medical student; he likes beer. That's all I got on him."
I gave him an appreciative smile and slapped the money for our drinks into his palm. I glanced down at my beer bottle and laughed internally at the irony. "Thanks," I said, sipping my beer.
***
"Charlotte?" a faint voice said. "Charlotte, can you hear me?"
I felt my mouth form the word 'yes'.
"Honey, you're in the hospital. You've just come out of surgery..."
I didn't hear anything else she said as I slipped back into the darkness.
***
"Which one?" Lea asked, craning her neck so that she could get a better look at Logan Miller. Her eyes widened. "That one?"
"Yeah," I said. "That one." He was still looking at me. I took a sip from my beer and smiled fliratciously at him from across the room. Within a second, the smile was returned.
"Seriously, Char?" Lea complained, slapping my arm. "I don't have a ride out of here if you go home with him! So stop flirting!" She plucked the cherry from her drink and plopped it in her mouth.
"Ha!" I laughed. I took my keys from my sweatshirt pocket and set them on her lap. "There. If I don't make it back to you later tonight, you have a ride home!" I gave her my most convincing thumbs-up. Lea simply stared at me and rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that look!" I protested. "One day I will realize the error of my ways. But until then, you will have to live with me the way I am."
"Don't flatter yourself, deary," Lea said. "I just don't want to drive your piece of shit car home! Or pick you up in the morning from god-knows-where." Both of us stared blankly at each other before bursting into laughter.
***
"Logan..." I rasped. My throat was so dry, it felt like a cotton ball.
"I'm here," he responded.
"Where's..."
"Char?" he asked. The beeping on a monitor grew louder and I felt anxiety growing in my chest. "Someone call a nurse!" he shouted before I was gone again.
***
After we had finished our third drinks an hour and a half later, Lea put her hands up and said, "That's it for me. One of has to be sober to get home tonight."
"Wuss," I said, standing up from the seat at the bar that I had been occupying.
Just as I was about to order myself another beer, a two men came up behind me and Lea. One of them put their hand on my shoulder. "These girls will have vodka martinis. Extra dirty. And two olives each." He smiled at me with a drunken expression.
I turned to the bartender. "Cancel that order." I pushed the guy's hand off of my shoulder. "Nice try, pal." As I was turning away from him, his friend grabbed Lea's ass and gave it a squeeze.
"Hey, man," the bartender growled from the other side of the bar. "Let her go."
Turning around, I pushed him back and planted the heel of my stilleto into his right foot. He let out a yelp of pain and swore. "Crazy fuckin' bitch!"
"Grab her ass again, and my heel will be planted in your head," I threatened. "Got it?"
Lea put her hand on my arm and pulled me back. "Char," she said shakily. "Come on." Both of us watched as the guy limped off while his friend kept turning back to make sure I wouldn't put my heel down on his foot.
"Are you okay?" I asked Lea, guiding her to her seat.
Nodding, Lea said, "Yeah. Hey, umm, do you mind if we get out of here?" Poor Lea had never had her ass grabbed in her life. At least never by anyone other than her boyfriend. I was used to it from strangers, but my best friend wasn't.
"Absolutely," I said firmly. "Here's your stuff. Let me have the keys."
Lea handed them over. "I'll meet you outside, 'kay?" she asked.
"Of course," I said, patting her arm. I'll be right out." I watched as she scurried out the door without looking back. Inside, I was scolding myself for bringing Lea here. "Crap," I muttered when I dropped my keys on the ground. When I bent down to grab them, my hand touched something that were definitely not my keys.
***
"Charlie?" My mother's voice sounded so strained. That wasn't usual for her. She was happy and bouncy, completely the opposite of what she sounded like right now.
"Mom?" I rasped.
"Honey!" she cried. I felt her take my hand.
"Where is she? Where's..."
"Char?" Mom whispered as I plunged back into memory.
***
"These yours?" a deep, husky voice asked.
Startled, I jumped backwards, knocking my head against a table in the process. Groaning, I accepted the hand that was offered to me. "Yeah," I muttered, placing my other hand over the spot that was likely to be bruised in the morning. "Thanks," I said, finally looking at the person who'd offered me their hand.
"No problem," Logan Miller said with another killer grin. "Leaving so soon?" he asked, planting my keys in my hand.
"Uh, yeah," I stammered as I began to walk in the direction of the door. "Hey, thanks for getting my keys." I was barely looking at him. Lea was my number one concern right now. There wasn't much time for me to get swept off my feet.
"What's your name?" he asked. He was following me now. I tried weaving through the mass of people and losing him, but he was stuck to me like glue.
"Charlie," I responded, pushing my way out the door and into the bitter cold. "Charlie Montgomery." Where the hell was Lea? I seriously could not be left alone with this guy for very long. I was already not feeling the cold wind because he was talking to me.
"I'm Logan," he said. "Logan Miller. Hey, stop a second!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him.
My heartrate sped up and I finally looked at him. He was smiling at me and had me locked against him with his arms. "Hi," he laughed.
"Hi," I said, forcing my voice to be firm. I smiled as best I could.
"That was pretty impressive, what you did back there," he commented. "I don't know many people who would do that to Fred." He laughed again.
"I'm not many people," I said, not able to contain my flirting. I smiled at him. "You're positively drunk, you know."
"No, I'm not," he said, his voice growing deeper.
"Hmm. Yes, you are," I giggled.
Our lips met and fire broke out under my skin. His hands moved up and down my back and all through my hair. My bun came undone, letting all my waves spill out around my shoulders. The feel of his lips agaisnt mine was driving me insane with lust. He pushed me up against the wall of the building and my lungs were burning with desire for air. My body was burning with the desire for Logan. And I was tempted to go with what my body wanted. A sigh of pleasure escaped my lips when he trailed his fingers along the inside of my thigh.
I pulled away first. "I need to go," I said. It wasn't a lie. He still had his face nestled in my neck. Expertly, I pulled his phone out of his pocket and inserted my number without a name. "A test to see if you're not drunk," I said, putting the phone in his hand. "If you remember me, you'll call this number tomorrow."
Logan pulled me into one last kiss. "I'll remember you," he whispered in my ear.
"I certainly hope so," was my faint response as I walked back in the direction of my car and Lea.
***
My eyes fluttered open and through my blurry vision, I could tell that I was in a hospital room. I tried sitting up but I was gently pushed back down. "You need to rest," Logan said, his voice heavy. "You were in surgery for a long time. You had a tear... a tear on your uterus and when he fell on you, your uterus... it ruptured." Logan knelt down on the ground next to my bed and took my hands.
Even they didn't stop my blood from running cold. "Where is she?" I asked. My voice was fragile.
"She's... she's..." Logan could hardly talk.
"Just say it, Logan," I whispered, my voice emotionless. I was bracing myself for the truth. Addison was dead.
"Char, she's in critical condition," Logan finished, running the side of his finger across my cheek. "The doctor who worked on you, my colleague Dr. Rita, she was able to control the damage and get her out on time. She says that our baby is stable and that her chances are good."
Tears began spilling out of my eyes and I let Logan kiss me. "She's going to be okay?" I asked. "She'll be okay?"
"Yes," Logan said. "You'll be able to see her when you can be moved."
"Lea? My mother and my brother?" I asked. "Are they here?"
"Lea's sporting some purple scrubs, but other than that they're all fine. They're in the cafeteria getting some coffee," Logan said, getting up from the ground to sit on the bed next to me.
"Thank you," I said, resting my head against his chest.
"For what?" Logan asked, stroking my hair.
"For not going anywhere."
Logan laughed. "Charlie, I can't let you go. I'm not going anywhere. Ever."
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Ohh my freakin god! I love your story. I am si happy know that I know some of tye back story between Charlie and Ligan. You are n amazing writer and know how to hook a reader. I can't quit reading your story and am off to the next chaprer. Keep up the goid work and keep writing. I love this story so much definately in my fav 5.
Hiya guys! Luxy here with the links to Chapters 1 and 2... just in case!
~Luxy
viewtopic.php?t=70466 - Chapter 1
viewtopic.php?t=71687 - Chapter 2
#0000FF ">Overall
I really liked it however I was kinda lost since I have not read Chapters one and two. Where are they? Can you send me a PM with the link to them
Jenn
I LOVE THIS!!! PLEASE PM ME WHEN YOU POST MORE! I WANT, NO, NEED MORE!!!!! Gimme gimme gimme!
I loved it!
can't wait to read more! though I was wondering why only chapter 3 was in your portfolio....I would love to read the rest of it. 
keep up the great work! <3 Rent
Hey luxy! It's Sporks. I'm going to review this. Just so you know, red is technical stuff, green is word choice, and purple is my commentary.
Spoiler
Technical Shtuff
Pretty good, there weren't very many errors at all. Easy fixes too, just running through a spell-checker and proofreading. Other than that, it was good.
Story itself:
Okay, so I think you're off to a good start. However, there were some realism issues, which I addressed in the spoiler. It's easily fixable. Other than that, my only other nitpick is that the spurts of them meeting are huuuge. I think breaking it up would be a lot better, represent her fragmented mental state, and not overwhelm the reader with information. If that makes sense.
Overall
This isn't bad at all! I really liked it. Keep going!
---Spork
Hello there.
This was a really good start. the only thing is that it's a little bit confusing with the before and after part... If this is even what it is. I'm looking forward to reading more!
-Other One
wow! You're a really good writer! I knew you were writing, but I never read it. Anyways, yeah it was really good. I few mistakes I'm sure you'll catch if you reread. But yeah I'd have to agree with wickedwonder with integrating the flash back with her coming in and out of consciousness. But that's up to you because I liked it anyways but I beleive that it would good if you can figure out how to do it. Chao!
ALright, so, heres the thing. I don't feel like you balanced that out as well as you could. Most of it was just them meeting, Don't get me wrong, I love romance, but what if, since she's already having flashbacks, take specific chunks, and put the in italics to show she is zoning in and out, instead of just throwing it at the reader in one big section.
As much as I enjoyed that part, mix it in with her labour. I felt like you just skipped right over that.
Other then that, and truly, that was just me being nitpick, I liked it, it was good. I'm probably going to read back through your portfolio to catch myself up.
~WickedWonder