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Young Writers Society



In the Unlikely Event...

by Macyblak


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23 Reviews

Points: 68
Reviews: 23

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Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:48 pm
TheWorldIsMyLife wrote a review...



AWESOMEEEEE!!!!

This is definitely the sort of thing I like to read, haha. The depressing love poems and stories... I really really like the fact that the narrator wants the 'heartbreaker' to be sad and abandoned but then in the last few stanzas you say about how the narrator still loves him anyway. The format is cool, like how you have "I don't know" as one separate line.
I don't know what to correct because I'm a sucker for anything like this plus it's an awesome poem.

Love it, keep writing :)
~The World




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Points: 574
Reviews: 3

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Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:26 pm
deleted13 says...



This poem flows very well and keeps your attention through to the end. It sounds like you have a story behind this? I'd love to hear it.




Macyblak says...


Thank you. But, sorry to disappoint here, I have no story behind this. I was listening to Ed Sheeran and trying to feel emotions (I've been told I'm very shallow when it comes to them) when it just hit me. Out of NOWHERE. This poem is a product of dumb luck, more than anything.



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206 Reviews

Points: 1171
Reviews: 206

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Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:01 pm
LadyPurple wrote a review...



Hi! I am LadyPurple and I will be reviewing you on this fine day in 2013.
Onto this poem, I really like it. To me it flows well. The only nit-pick is this:

I’d like to say I hope your sitting in a wheelchair,

The 'your' should be 'you're'. I don't know if maybe you accidentally did this (I do all the time) but Your is possesive and You're is a contraction of You Are.
Happy new year!
~LP




LadyPurple says...


*possessive. Sorry:P



Macyblak says...


I did do that. Do it all the time *corrects it*



Macyblak says...


I did do that. Do it all the time *corrects it*




Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
— Captain James T. Kirk