Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
The hot sun shined over the desert, baking the cracked ground, and the feeling was infinite. A man was trudging along the the hot sand dragging his limp, blistered body, and in his mind he felt like all was over. He was a tall, wiry man with golden, blonde hair and his name was Samuel Thomas. As he fought on through the overwhelming sun, he staggered and fell and got up many times but when he fell again, he didnt get up. He was giving up all hope of any survival. And as his body was strewn accross the sand, he stretched out his hand as a last attempt to move his almost lifeless body. As he thought to touch even more sand, he felt the touch of hope, for his hand felt a very small but refreshing pool of water. He pulled his restricting body up to where he could cup small sips of water until the last of it sank into the ground. After he drank he got his strength back, and was able to stand up again. He looked all around in hope of escape of that sea of desolateness. But even with his renewed strength, he didnt know where to go from there. He could either stay there and die, or travel on and maybe find safety or die trying. And ,of course, he chose to go on. After he had traveled awhile, the sun had already beaten through the renewed strength that he had received, not a short time ago. As he was blindly walking along, he fell and tried to lift his worn body up again but he had no strength to do it once more. He thought to himself " Surely not after all I have went through, I will not end it here!". So he began to crawl, he crawled and crawled and crawled until his hands were blistered and bleeding and his pants were worn to the skin. He could go on no more...
Okayy...well this is an interesting start here. Before I get too much further into things though I will have to say that this piece is big enough to require a bit more paragraphing than what its received at the moment. Its not too badly affected at the moment by being in this one large blob of text, but it could really be improved by breaking into a few paragraphs just to separate these moments your hitting into their own thing.
Besides that little issue though, this is a nice little tale of someone trying to survive in what is clearly a very hostile environment. I think you depict this person's will to live warring quite nicely with the conditions and the kind of thoughts that sort of thing tends to bring about in a person. Its a very powerful little battle there too and I think you've done a wonderful job in general both of capturing the emotions and describing the kind of effects that this sort of a scenario can have on a person in such a situation.
On the whole its a pretty strong piece and I think you definitely should have continued it.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4102
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