[Everyone's Fool
]
I must say it's amazing to be on top
To be the best
to know you'll hit your mark
To know what to do in every situation
To know which way to go
To see in every direction
But then you must think
What's it like to be at the bottom
Is it horrible;
Is it disgusting;
Is it a relief?
Do you feel like every thing you do
Amounts to a heap of Failure?
That everything you'll try
Will never succeed?
And I can't help but think
I'm so glad that's not me
But then I realize
The more you climb,
To what you think is the top
In reality
All you do is fall
To a place that has no handholds
So they'll be no more climbing
Just falling
And falling
While everyone watches
Laughing or Giggling
Rejoicing in your failure
In their new Opportunities
And from the bottom,
The top looks pretty cool
so you'll climb up again
And fall in the end
I guess I really am Everybody's Fool
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hello, and thank you for the reviews. I wrote this poem really fast, and thanks for catching my errors. But I also thank you for your compliments. I guess the feeling I was trying to portray was almost a resigned sense of sadness and hopelessness.
I edited it, and I hope it's a little better than the first.
W
This didn't have a great flow for me... it was a good piece, and I like the thought behind it.. the metaphor of losing handholds was nice.. but I think that perhaps you could have gone further with it, creating a more consistent rhythm, making it seem more.. well- poetic in some ways. The wording was nice, but parts of it felt more like statements rather than verses.
Overall, nice piece, but I think you could make it even better.
-Coral
oohhh ok so when i read this i couldn't decide if i did or didn't like the feeling of sadness and hopelessness it gave me i think i liked it (not because i like being sad) but because the wording and the way it was written was very impressive.
great job Master
Hi, this was a good poem! I think you should add some question marks though especially here: "Is it horrible, Is it disgusting, Is it a releif" Also you spelled relief "releif". I like this poem especially this line "To see in every direction" it just seemed to make the poem flow and sound nicely. I hope I helped some!
-KAH
On the 12th line, you spelled relief wrong.
There should be a question mark after "What's it like to be at the bottom" and after "Failure" a few lines down.
I love the sixth section and since you have such a great ending there, I think that is when you should cut the poem.
I really like this poem because it expresses what every competitive individual feels at one point or another.
~Lindsay