Published March 20, 2011
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Canary word: Present
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141,471 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
I really liked your poem. A little jerky, I thought, but it gives you scenes to see in your head, which is what I love so much about it.
Hey there,
great poem. It was well-thought-out, simply structured but truly effective. It flows! Bravo!
xxx Upile xxx
Hi! I really liked this poem, particularly because I'm into the macabre-y stuff myself, but I think you need to work on your fluidity, as it seems a bit jerky and awkward - or was that the intention?
I really liked this stanza:
It had a very good finality too it, which is essential in the end of a poem.
I also thought that the lines made up of one word was a good touch, and breaks up the usual four-line stanza structure. This is good, I'm clicking like! Keep writing!