Young Writers Society

I relate to this very much, and i think it is a beautiful piece of art. One thing is that your flow was a tad choppy here and there, such as...

"Things like telling my best friend

That he's not just a delinquent

And not an idiot

And he can be so much more than that"

And while we are on this particular section, you might consider looking up synonyms for common words or phrases. Like for "best friend" you could put "dearest friend" or "dear friend" and things of the like.


One other note is better separation of the stanzas. Separating the stanzas more clearly can also help with the flow of your poem, so its win win :3

Exaple


"Awesome cool poem

write write

doodle doodle doop

~ (< This thing right here that i can't remember the name of)

Write writey write

bla bla

doop doop"

Or you can just do an extra space to create some separation between the stanzas. But really that is a stylistic thing, so it is ultimately unimportant.


I hope i was at least a little helpful!

Wonderful poem, i hope to see more.

~Ayma

Hey LucyTheBrave,
I like this poem. I like the repeated "things like telling..."
And I really like the ending.
I think your flow is off,
just a little,
maybe you could go back and fix that.
I think this is good otherwise and you should keep writing.
I disagree with Issam, Poetry should have no grammar rules. My 6th grade reading teacher taught us that. (sorry Issam)

Keep Writing,
@Kimmycat

Hey LucyTheBrave,
I like this poem. I like the repeated "things like telling..."
And I really like the ending.
I think your flow is off,
just a little,
maybe you could go back and fix that.
I think this is good otherwise and you should keep writing.
I disagree with Issam, Poetry should have no grammar rules. My 6th grade reading teacher taught us that. (sorry Issam)

Keep Writing,
@Kimmycat

So, not to be a grammar nazi, but there are loads of errors in here. Grammar and vocabulary are the bread of writing, keep that in mind. And I'd say read more of other poets' work. For free verse, go for Agha Shahid Ali. Google him, and you'll feel me. And remember, short lines don't mean deep poetry.

List of feelings evoked:
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