When I was seven,
I fell while playing tag with my sister,
I tripped and tore the skin straight off my knee,
My sister laughed and I sobbed and sobbed uncontrollably,
My father,
A bystander to the situation,
Rested his knees next to me,
And uttered three words that have stuck with me,
He claimed that boys shouldn't cry because it made them weak,
I straightened up,
I dried my tears, and played along,
When I was eleven,
My favorite cousin passed away,
Drugs or God took him too soon,
I saw him in his baby blue coffin,
Dressed in his prom suit,
As his girlfriend cried over him,
He did not look the same,
The shade of makeup they layered on his face,
Was not the same as his own,
When it was my turn to look at the corpse,
I stared blankly,
I just kept remembering what my father said that day,
When I was only seven years old,
I placed a Pokémon card on his chest and sat back down in a pew,
I went home that night,
I guarded myself in my room,
Where no one could hear my cries,
Because I didn't want to be weak,
Hell, I was afraid even to cry,
My eldest brother walked in,
During my mental breakdown and said three words to me,
Those words are now my favorite because I'm not scared,
Boys can cry are words I live by every day,
Because I know there's not one teenage boy who hasn't bawled his eyes out,
All it took was death and a scraped knee,
For me to open my weary eyes,
To the stereotype,
My father had implanted,
In the brain of an innocent, me,
Many months ago,
I learned how to speak French,
Boys don't cry in French I find it difficult to say,
Les garçons ne pleurent pas,
To those of you whose tears have been held back,
Let them out,
Let the world know you hurt,
Because we are important too
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
I loved reading your work, here's what resonated with me:
"When I was only seven years old,
I placed a Pokémon card on his chest and sat back down"
It adds a lot more depth to your writing. The narrator (you?) was far too young to handle a death in the family alone. It seems out of place, and that's what makes it so memorable. Pokemon reminds me of when I was playing as a kid, a very different emotion from what comes from a funeral. It allows the reader to contrast their life from yours and triggers empathy. This, in my opinion, is exactly what a poem should strive to accomplish.
Happy Holidays! My name is Ley (or Lektra) and I'm here to review this sparkling work with my new holiday-themed review template: just in time for winter! Let's sit by the fire, get our marshmallows ready, and discuss this piece you have here. Huzzah!
❄️ Winter Whispers ❄️
First of all, I just wanted to say welcome to YWS and I absolutely love the message you presented here in this poem. <3 As someone who grew up with a traditional and strict german father and a younger brother, I've heard the phrase 'boys don't cry' way too much, unfortunately. Thank you for speaking your truth and standing up for every man that doesn't feel like he can show emotions <3 you rock!
🎅 Warm Sugar Cookie 🎅
At this point in the poem, I was on the verge of tears! I'm such an emotional person that I would hate if someone told my son they can't cry
I love these lines because yes! It's so true. There's not one teenage boy that hasn't cried. It's a human response and shouldn't be looked down upon. And the second line 'All it took was death and a scraped knee' was brilliant! I love when authors tie in their titles :p
🌟 Chilling Critique 🌟
I don't have any critiques for you! I think this poem is deeply personal and strong/powerful, therefore it's perfect just the way it is in my eyes! Keep it up!
🎆 The Grand Finale 🎆
Overall, wow! This was a super reflective and powerful read. Thank you so much for sharing, and I hope you're enjoying YWS so far! Feel free to PM me if you need help navigating the site/have any questions
Wishing you a season filled with joy, laughter, and love! <3
thanks I dont live with my mom now so I got away from that
This is great freestyle poetry! I love the deep symbolism and meaningful imagery. This poem is really good at portraying difficult emotions and troublesome times. However, I would suggest adding more periods and spaces to collect certain thoughts together as opposed to having everything stuck together. Additionally, using more formal words such as "love" instead of "girlfriend" would make the poem more rich and flow more smoothly.