Young Writers Society

Hi again Lovestrike! I've been enjoying your poetry ~ so I'm back with another review!

There is something about this that feels very wise - I enjoyed how simple and poignant you let these words be without a lot of fluff or distraction. Again here your style reminds me of a tanka or haiku because each phrase seems so intentional.

I had a little bit of difficulty figuring out what the poem had to do with human bereavement as the title implied - I almost wanted the comparison between human and tree grief to be a bit more explicitly laid out rather than just implied - especially because I think digging into that comparison more could be very fruitful. I'm torn because I love the poem how it stands, but I'd also love more. Maybe a part 2 or a series?

Another little critique is there's something confusing about the word "early" in line 1 - > because autumn doesn't come early or late but always on time, it's a little unclear what is meant. Do you mean early in a tree's life rather than early in a year perhaps?

I think "leaves dropping away" could maybe be described with a little more bleakness / harshness as well.

Really like the detail about the roots growing cold. And the final line is very definitive.

I interpreted the poem to be that death is part of the earth / part of life - and that grief is maybe easier to handle the sooner we realize that it is a part of life. And maybe if as humans we watched or recognized all the "small deaths" the final one wouldn't come with as much of a shock or burden. In some ways it felt a little bit like the Tibetan Buddhist ideal of having a peaceful death - because life and death are a continuum and that this hope for a peaceful death can be realized through knowing oneself and accepting impermanence - both aspects that I think could be expressed within the poem.

Overall, it was a poem that made me think! And your phrasing, grammar, and line-breaks all seemed instrumental to getting the point across clearly - couldn't find any distractions there.

I look forward to reading more of your poetry!

alliyah

Main Event Thread

Hello!
This poem is short, but even with few words, it says so much.
The way of putting trees losing their leaves by saying,
"trees learn death early every autumn"
is such a good way of describing it, a unique way too. For me, I can visualize very word that is said, if never seen something so descriptive, yet so short. It's a mere 26 words and 7 lines.
The title is confusing, for it seems as if it has no connection to the poem, but if you know the defintion of bereavement, the poem's tone shifts dramatically. Bereavement is the state of having experienced the loss of a loved one, similar to mourning. The saying,
"...where roots go cold feels to them no great burden"
This, this hits deep. Even for me, someone who really hasn't experienced extreme grief. The words make me feel as if I am the one being affected. The loss of a loved one being compared to trees losing their leaves every autumn can represent seasonal depression, for maybe the loss of the loved one took place in the autumn.
I find this poem beautifully crafted, and hope to see more like it.

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hey hey!

so i haven't reviewed in ages, but i see you posted a lot of poetry. it's a sign!

trees learn death early
every autumn

leaves dropping away
with such grace
that the final change where
roots go cold feels to them
no great burden

Hello,

I love the overall recurring theme of the portrayal of death through the use of natural imagery and comparison to a tree. It depicts death as merely another stage in one's cycle, and the acceptance and level-headedness of the tree at the end of the haiku (I think?) is really captivating and potentially unusual, though it has been portrayed before. Perhaps include more subtle imagery to evoke multiple meanings/perspectives for the readership- you don't have to, but it may add to its already great emotional and physical depth.