Goddess of wisdom
Fill me with your light so I may see clearly
So I may learn the ways of the world
So I may better myself.
Allow me to do your work with an open heart.
Help me to love and cherish all of nature
From the largest oak tree to the smallest blade of grass.
Guide my magic and my heart towards good.
Protect me from harm and negative energy.
Hear my songs of thanksgiving,
Lift them to your ears.
Sophia,
Smile upon me with your divine benevolence.
Let your light and love shine down upon the earth.
Blessed be.
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Hi LovelyTeaRoses! Since your previous comment sounds like this is supposed to be a more conventional prayer rather than a poem, I'd say it sounds pretty good. However, this doesn't seem like the kind of thing you'd ask the goddess of wisdom. Loving nature and protection from harm? Seems like those could fit with any god/goddess. I'd think a prayer to a wisdom goddess would be in regards to something more specific, like a difficult decision the speaker faces. It might be interesting to add details regarding why the speaker needs wisdom. I understand nature is important to Wicca, so keep natural elements in there, but tailor them to the situation. This would add some richness to the piece. Keep writing!
Hi LovelyTeaRoses,
I found this to be too prayer-y. It's called a Prayer, it sounds like a prayer. Not that there's anything wrong with writing a prayer. But it's not a medium anybody can critique.
Now, as you've posted it, I'm assuming you'd prefer it to be reviewed as a poem. If so, I'd have to say it's lacking. It's a prayer: it offers little to the reader. The words are very common, standard, prayer-type words. It's exactly how anybody would write a prayer to Sophia. I don't see anything uniquely yours. Therefore, it held little interest. Things such as "help me to love" and "lift them to your ears" sound nice, but they're commonplace. Boring. Mundane. The reader has seen them a million times before.
What might be a cool thing to try is to subvert the prayer format. So, it's still in the format of a prayer, but maybe the narrator is praying for something horrible. They're not praying for light, or love, or protection, they're praying for vengeance, for power, for violence. This way, you could reveal something about the narrator in little details. Right now, I have no connection to the narrator: I know nothing about them. It would be a good idea, either direction you take your poem, to sprinkle in little details, rather than being vague and broad-stroking. Currently, the vagueness is adding to the disconnection the reader feels. You've got to draw them in, by suggesting things about the narrator that might be making them pray to Sophia. Perhaps the narrator needs her protection because something has happened, etc.
Good luck with any revisions, I hope what I've said helps even a little.
I take offense at your second paragraph. The bit about vengeance, power, violence, etc. This is a Wiccan prayer/spell/chant/whatever, you don't ask for those things. You actually ask for light, love or protection of yourself or others. Vengeance and violence are against my religion, and not in the normal way. The whole point of Wicca is "an ye harm none do as ye will".