Published May 29, 2008
Life
Life and love,
Hope and loss,
Dreams are here,
But they cost.
Picture perfect,
If you make it so,
There are all sorts of choices;
Choose the way to go.
As we sing this tuneless song,
Tragedy and sin
Follow us strong.
Tear us down and make us fall
Suffer one;
Suffer all.
If you lose you mustn't give up,
You must keep going in life,
No matter what.
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Thank you guys. I appreciate the feed back. xD
It was so much fun to write and I really enjoyed the reactions I got from that piece.
ME LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! I love this kind of poetry! It just speaks wonderful things to me. I love your theme thing, but in the description thing you make it seem like it's going to be a happy poem, or maybe that's just how I interperted it. Oh well, it doesn't suck at all though. I will probably end up writing something like this later on, I will use all my willpower to not subconsiously use your lines because they're AWESOME!
I liked it, I really did, but the ending didn't seem to fit well with the rest if this poiece, you know?
I reall can't explain it that well. Sorry.
Praise:
*Nice flow. It really helps the cause when you can catch the flow.
*The Happiness of it. Almost every poem I read is dark. Happiness is good.
*The way you painted a faint picture in my head. This subject could be stronger, but hey, who am I to change what you have written.
*And last but not least, the idea. Simple, yet fun. Not simple, but not too unsimple. Confusing, huh?