I dreamed of my parents the night my life changed forever. My parents were happy with their lot in life, even if their only child was a Blade.
My father was a police officer and did his best to catch crooks, and my mother was a housewife, but she used to say that was as hard a job as any other. And I was happy. I went to school, had friends, and life was good. Of course, I had to hide my abilities as a Blade, but apart from that, my life was stress free. Until the day the Blade Hunters broke down our door.
I don't know how they found out that I was a Blade, but they did, and that day they were determined to capture me and take me away. And they would have succeeded, if it hadn't been for my parents.
My father wielded his electric cosh (EC), and managed to zap a few of them into unconsciousness before the charge ran out. My mom screamed at me to run out the secret back door in one of the cupboards.
But just then a Blade Hunter carrying an electroblaster (EB) stepped into the house. He blasted my father before stepping forward and aiming it at me. My mother told me to run, before jumping on the Hunter, doing her best to distract him so he didn't see where I was going.
In real life, after that, I ran out the door, and continued to run. I had heard my mother's dying scream as I ran down the block, but I didn't stop running until I reached the outskirts of the city.
That was bad enough, but in my dream, I stood still as I watched my mother get thrown on the ground before the Hunter blasted her with his EB. I tried to go to her, knowing that she was dead but denying it, but my legs were frozen. Then the Hunter turned to me and I saw his face.
I had had no idea that I remembered it so clearly...his face pale, devoid of expression, and the top of his head devoid of hair. His cold blue eyes seemed to bore into me, straight into my soul. He leveled his EB at me and fired. I watched as The sizzling blue bolt of electricity came towards me In slow motion , my mouth open in a silent scream.
Suddenly, the entire scene disappeared and I jolted awake. Bert was right in front of me, with a fearful expression on his face. "I had to shake you awake, Ron. we need to talk." He said, glancing nervously at the Barn door.
I groaned "Is it sunrise already?" And I looked at the skylight at the top of the barn near the other end. There was no sunlight. I knew then that the sun hadn't risen yet, and that Bert had awakened me for an entirely different reason. I looked at him quizzically. I realized that for the first time since I had known him, Bert was afraid. It chilled me to the bone.
He looked at me and said "It's a good thing you're already sitting down, because the news I have for you is rather...shocking." That alarmed me even more. This entire scenario was frightening me to death. I knew immediately that we were in danger, but I waited for Bert to explain, hoping that my suspicions were wrong. Bert ran a nervous hand through his brown hair, and spoke to me. "Frank still hasn't come back. And when I sent Jack out to scout, he sensed a large number of people in our vicinity. And they were hiding."
My heart skipped a beat. There was only one thing that this could mean: The Blade Hunters had found us. And we were in very big trouble. Noticing my expression, Bert quickly spoke "Ron, please keep it together. You're the only lieutenant that I have left now, with Frank gone. I need you. Please help me wake the others as quietly and quickly as possible. We don't have a lot of time before they attack." I nodded quickly, doing my best to stay calm, despite the fact that my life was in imminent danger.
We quickly woke everyone, one by one, with the exception of Jack, who was already up. They all woke up complaining about the time before I covered their mouths to make them shut up before explaining the situation we were in. Soon, all the remaining sixteen boys of Bert's Blades were awake and ready.
They were standing in two separate groups, in the teams that they had been assigned to when they had first joined us (my team and Frank's). Bert had said that dividing us into two teams was supposed to foster a spirit of healthy competition. And it did. My team and Frank's always competed to steal the most loot. I had had fun with the competition. Everyone in front of me were my friends. And most of them would be dead by morning.
Bert looked at the assembled group grimly, with me at his side. He spoke in a low voice "Come closer. I will have to speak softly so the Hunters don't hear." Everyone gathered closer to Bert, all looking fearful. Bert sighed and said "My dear friends, as you know, the Blade Hunters have found us. We are surrounded, and they are slowly closing in on us. Their plan is to close in until they are right outside the barn, then break down the door and take us down. There is only one option open to us now. We have to go out now, and rush them, and try to break through and escape. Now, you can use your Blade speed. There is no point in hiding your Blade power now. While it will involve the death or capture of many, I believe that it will let at least a few of us escape." He looked around the room. There was no argument. While everyone knew it was a risky plan, it was the only option left.
Seeing no opposition, he walked over to the doorway and unlocked the doors, before opening them onto the night. He called me forward. "I and you will lead the way. Agreed?" I swallowed and nodded. "On the count of three," he said in a sot voice. My mind scrambled to save all my memories of this place in the last three seconds that I would be in it. I had spent five years of my life here. I had made friends, and been almost completely happy. And in three seconds it would all be gone forever.
"One," Bert called out. I would remember waking up in the morning at sunrise, my entire family waking up together, laughing and chatting. "Two," Bert continued. I realized that Bert's Blades had been exactly that: A family, which I had loved, and felt safe in. And most of them were about to die. Even I had a good chance of being killed or captured. I promised myself that I would always remember this place, and would do my best to protect everyone who had lived in it. Then Bert said "Three!" And, bracing myself, I leaped across the doorway, along with Bert, and started to run.
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Hello again!

I'm going to start with this dream at the beginning. I think it's a cool idea to use dreams or flashbacks or something like that to show the reader back story and help us get to know the characters. However, I think you could do it in a way that's more showing because right now it's a little too telling for my taste. What I mean by that is that right now it feels like the MC is telling us about this memory. I would prefer to see this memory. So I would pick one specific event (like his parents dying) and write it as if it's happening right now (or maybe put it in past tense but with the same idea). Use all of the description and emotions and stuff you would use if this were a regular scene.
To set it apart from the rest of the story and to show that it's a memory or a dream or a flashback or something, you could put it in italics. You could also set it up with a brief narration so the reader knows we're about to dive into something in the past. Something like: "My parents died one year ago today. [and then the lovely descriptive scene I described in the previous paragraph]."
Then don't forget to transition out, which you did pretty well here with the friend waking him up from the dream. The only thing I didn't quite like about that transition was that there was no processing of the dream or what happened. He had the dream, he woke up, and then he moved on to the next thing with his friend. It sounded like a pretty traumatic and scary thing to remember, and I feel like he would be a little shaken up or something. I would like a little more about his feelings/thoughts/actions after he wakes up and throughout the rest of the scene - especially related to how this dream effected him. I think that would tie it all together really nicely and help him appear more human.
I really liked that you got us right into the exciting stuff with this soon-to-be confrontation with the Blade Hunters! However, just like in the last chapter, I think you could slow all of this waaaay down. A lot of events happen in a very short amount of time and I think you could slow it all down and show us a lot more. Paint a picture using the five senses. Show me personality among these characters (especially all of the people that joined in this scene). Show me emotions (what do their faces look like? think about eyebrows and small muscle movements in the face and actions that show this). Show me thoughts. Show what they do. I feel like all of this is going down rather quickly. I get that the threat is real and here right now, but how did they prepare? why are they all so willing do die or allow their friends to die? what's the plan and how do people feel about it? is everyone blindly obeying or are there differing thoughts or feelings? I don't feel like I know or care about any of these characters yet and I sort of want to, especially if they're about to enter this important, dangerous battle!
I'll leave things there for now, but please let me know if there is anything else you would like feedback on, or if you would like me to talk about anything more specific. Also, please let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing!
Hi, LordZeus! This is my first review, I hope it's helps in some way/shape or form!

After reading the prologue, I was super excited to start reading! I tore through Chapter 1, and then eagerly started this chapter. I have to say, I'm super impressed so far! The description is great, and I've enjoyed getting to know Ron. I do, however, wish we got to know the other main characters in a bit more depth, especially Bert. While you mentioned it was out of character for him to be nervous, I wanted to know why. You've developed Ron very well, just remember to show the other characters some love as well. I think that's really it, other than a few odd sentences, but those can easily be fixed. I absolutely loved the last paragraph of this chapter, and all the suspence. I can't wait to read more of your work!
The a lot for reviewing this! I will probably publish the next chapter today, so pls keep it in mind for review day tom! I'm glad you like it. I'll keep an eye out for your works so I can review them and return the favour!
Thanks! I'll keep that in mind when Review Day starts!
Hey, I'm here to make the requested review! I enjoy reading this story.
I prefer consistency, and the format here is pronoun + verb +verb + verb, so it should be "I went to school, had friends, and enjoyed the good life."
Acronyms like EB and EC, while do evoke the feeling of sci-fi, aren't really needed. I feel like the flow of reading would be better if you use full words of them.
I'm not sure if there's a purpose for the bolded words, so care to explain them to me?
This sentence is worded a bit awkwardly. Here's a suggestion: "I tried to go to her, knowing but denying that she was dead. My frozen legs stopped me."
"His pale face" instead of "his face pale". Devoid is redundant, try changing the second one with "lack".
Non-capitalized the capitalized words after the first one. It distrupts the flow of reading.
Capitalize "we" and the first period should be changed to comma, and "He" and "Barn" should be non-capitalized.
About the plot: This chapter is nerve-wrecking. We know Frank's gone, and Jack sensed a lot of Blade Hunters in hiding. Now they are going to get out to escape them and it would involve some deaths. I like this set-up, it makes me wonder what would happen next, so good job on maintaining a suspenseful pace.
On the other hand, this chapter doesn't develop much characters except for the protagonist. I would think that Bert can have some kind of development here. I mean, you mention him being scared as something unusual. Try making them explain why. Make him realize this is real, it's life and death situation. With every chapter going, make sure there's character development.
Overall, this is a good story. Keep up the good job!
Thx, and you will see why I haven;t gone into detail on Bert. If you read the previous chapter, you would see that I went into a little detail on harry and Mark. you'll see the reason for that next chapter too.
oh and you will see why I haven't gone into detail on Bert in the next chapter. I went into a little detail on Mark and Harry, and you will see the reason for that next chapter too.
Hey LordZeus! [nice name]
. [This is totally optional] I think you should give a bit more detail to the scenarios. If it is a good story we are able to picture and visualize it in our minds- I think you should polish it up, just a teeny bit, to give a crystal clear visualization. Who knows your novel might end up as a movie! 

Your idea behind this sci-fi novel is practically every teenager's dream[I can't say about others but I know mine is]. Being a teenager with super powers-what more could you ever want! On the literary side...
I think that you should try and build up more suspense and keep your readers on the edge
Anyways I am kinda liking this sci-fi novel...
Looking forward to more of your work and good luck with your novel!
That's all from Kay
Thx a lot for reviewing this! Since i have exams right now, i won't be able to publish for a while, but when I do, pls continue to read my work! Oh and Blades don't exactly have superpowers...They're stronger, faster, and more agile than humans and have extra-resistant skin and immune systems but they can't control fire or anything. if you have already understood that, then what I just said is useless, but i just wanted to clear up any misunderstandings about the novel if any. All in all, thx for reviewing me, and i hope you will continue to do so!