(Just something I wrote on the spur of the moment)
Praise for Food
Praise be to God for honey sweet,
Which spread upon toast I gratefully eat.
Maybe with butter to go with it too,
And when I do eat it I give thanks to you.
* * *
Praise be to God for bread so soft,
Of which I do consume so ‘oft,
Especially when at home it’s made,
For you I’ll do as I am bade.
* * *
Praise be to God for fruit divine,
Brought forth from the trees or off the vine,
Eaten whole or squeezed into a cup,
To God I give thanks before I sup.
* * *
Praise be to God for the flock and the herd,
Of which meat is gotten by the truth of Thy word.
And by all these things we live all our days
And for them we give you our undying praise.
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Canary word: Present
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I like this, it's not really my style, but it is a good poem.
Heavens I'm notorious with periods!!! I'll get to changing that immediately!
Yeah, the asterisks were in the first version which I printed out for a competition... so I forgot to remove them. And "sup"? Old English substitute for "eating supper", you know, like for example:
"Wilt thou sup with us?"
Hope that answers your questions!
Tapadh leibh!
LordLoredaen
Hi Loredaen ^^ Welcome to YWS ;P I'm Shina and I'll be your reviewer today. If you need any help learning the ropes of this place, feel free to PM/aim/msn message me or whatever. Also, there's a whole bunch of people on this site who'd offer their help to you too.
To start it off, we'll go technical. You should remove the "stars" or asterisks because they're not needed and also, they're not professional.
I noticed in the first stanza you missed a period, but other than that, the punctuation is good.
I liked this poem ^^ It's good to be thankful and you worked in a rhyme scheme well. The last stanza doesn't make sense though. "sup" What's sup? It's not an action? I think you meant "sip" but that doesn't rhyme with "cup". You might want to fix that.
Good Luck & Keep Writing
-Shina