The Last Werewolf Chapter 1

by LordGreenleaf

Published February 22, 2014

In poems

“It’ll be fine, son. I promise.” Dad said as we roared onto the freeway. I nodded but didn’t bother to take my earphones out. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Look, just keep an open mind about this school, ok?” Dad said, his voice weary. I yanked my earphones out and took some deep breaths to calm myself down. “Just like all the other seven school I’ve been too?”

“Look Zander, you know my work is very important and it requires me to travel around a lot. I mean, what do you want me to do? I work for you and Luke, to give you money for uni and a future.” Dad said. I nodded and focused my gaze out the window, trying to get lost in my music. I wasn’t mad at him, he had no choice, but I was sick of thinking we had a home and then us just leaving it all behind.

Three long hours later, we pulled into Lake Alexander. A medium size town in the middle of England, centred around, surprise, a lake. Dad was stoked about the school I was going to. St. Davids. It was one of the best private schools in the country and I know he’d shelled out a lot of cash to get me a spot. Even though we kept on moving Dad had always said that he wanted the best education for me at every school.

Dad worked as a real estate agent in a large company that had sites all around England. You’d think it’d pay a lot, but he has to work long hours and he gives a lot of money towards Luke.

And of course, I’m boarding. Great. Dad had said he just couldn’t handle me when he worked his long hours and he just didn’t have the money to hire a nanny or carer. So, I watched as the red brick building came into view. Half of the school was your traditional red brick affair, but the other half was surprisingly modern.

Please let the boarding house be in the modern half. I thought. Our car pulled into the parking lot and I groaned inwardly. Our dingy Toyota looked out of place among the shiny BMW’s. That wasn’t a good sign.

“Wait, Zander.” Dad said, as I was about to get out of the car. He searched for the right words. “Look, I’m sorry about all this. It’s just I need the money for Luke. Just try you’re your best at this school and I’m going to visit every weekend, ok?” Dad said turning around in his seat to look at me. I gave him a half-hearted smile.

“I know you’re trying your best, Dad.” I said, giving him a one armed hug as we got out of the car. He unloaded my suitcase from the back and handed it to me with shaky fingers. I pulled my jacket tighter around myself and waved to him as he got smaller and smaller in the distance.

I took a deep breath and made my way over to what I presumed was the entrance.

Rain started to pour just as I arrived at the building. I ducked into the reception before I could get soaked and headed over to the desk. There were a few younger kids waiting in some chairs, and they stared at me as I walked past. I went up to the desk and rung the bell, standing awkwardly as I waited for someone. The room was small but they had had managed to stick up awards all over the place, and it made me feel self-conscious, like I wasn’t good enough. Finally, a man came to the desk. He was stick thin, with a shock of white air and a thin pair of glasses. It was hard to tell his age, he could have been between twenty and forty.

“Hello my name is Mr. Yate, can I help you?” Mr. Yate said, pushing his glasses up to look at me properly.

“Uh, yes. My name’s Zander Cross, I’m starting tomorrow?” I said. Mr. Yate nodded and turned to the computer, his long fingers skating across the keyboard.

‘Welcome then. “ Mr. Yate said with a smile, he reached behind his desk and brought a pile of papers.

“Here’s your room key, a map and your schedule for the semester. The dormitories are in the big red building near the oval. You’ve got a roommate as well. Classes start tomorrow.” Mr. Yate said, handing me the key and the papers.

“It’s a lot to take in, huh?” Mr. Yate said, giving me a smile. “Don’t worry we have a lot of new students this year so they’ll be just as lost you. “ Mr. Yate said. I laughed and shoved the papers into my backpack.

“Thanks.” I said, giving him a grin. I exited through another pair of sliding doors and out into the rain and crisp air.

It took a while but I did manage to find my way to the dorm’s. They were unfortunately in the old part of the school, and every time I took a step on the dingy carpet it let out a creak. Plus, because I was walking around in the rain, my map was soaking wet by the time I arrived at my room. I ran a hand through my hair, pulled my bag up and knocked on the door.

“Are you Zander?’ Said the guy at the door. He had his tooth brush in his hand and his hair was dripping onto the carpet. He was short but well-muscled, with ash blonde hair and startlingly green eyes.

“Uh, yes.” I said, pulling my suitcase in front of me. “Can I come in?” I asked. He gave me a smile then nodded. The room wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Two single beds, two wardrobes and a desk at the bad.

“My name’s Alec.” He said. Alec gestured towards the empty bed. “That’s yours, and feel free to put your stuff in the wardrobe as well. Oh and the toilet and bathroom are in there.” He pointed to the door at the opposite side of the room.

“Okay so, what’s your story? I know your name, but nothing else about you.” Alec said, as he tidied up the room. “I mean, this is the first time I’ve had a room mate.”

“Well, I’m in Year 10, I was born in London and I don’t know, what else do you want to know?” I said, sitting down on the bed. Alec turned around and grinned at me.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” He said, I laughed at his serious expression.

“Not at the moment, why?” I grinned. I was warming to Alec, and I thought that maybe this school might be finally somewhere where I would have a genuine friend.

“Trust me dude, this school is the perfect place to not be tied down with a girl. There are a lot on offer, if you’re looking for one.” Alec said with a wink. I laughed.

“Well I’ll just have to wait and see what happens, hey?” I said, opening up my bag I started to unpack some of my things. I grabbed my guitar case and propped it up on the wall. Alec stared at it.

“You play guitar?” Alec said. I smiled to myself and thought back to the first time Dad gave me the guitar.

I had been seven years old and we had been moving house. Dad had got it out from his closet. It was a semi-acoustic but mainly electric. I remembered how awestruck I’d been when I looked at it. It was jet black, wickedly cool. Dad pulled out a case as well.

“I thought you might want this, I know it’s a bit big, but you’ll grow into it.” Dad had said, watching as I picked it up with my small hands.

I remember looking up at him, a smile lighting up my face. “Yes.”

I smiled. “Yeah I do, why?” I un-zipped the case and grabbed a pick. “Want me to play you something?” I said, Alec nodded. I started off with a blues scale but I quickly just got lost in the music and my hands raced up along the guitar neck.

I stopped and Alec whistles.

“Not bad at all! You ever thought about joining one of the campus bands?” He said, eyes lighting up. I shrugged and smiled. “Maybe.”

Alec winked “Trust me, the girls dig musicians.” I laughed, and he got up.

“You know, I was kind of worried about having a roommate. You know, what if we didn’t get along? But I reckon you’re alright.” Alec said, pausing at the door.

“Thanks man.” I said, giving him a smile.

“Hey look, I’m heading out for some food, wanna get some with me?” Alec said, grabbing a shirt from his bag and slipping it on.

“No thanks, man. Got to unpack all this stuff.” I said. Alec left and I stuffed my bag in my closet and fell straight into my bed, fully clothed, asleep before my head hit the pillow.

“Damn! I’m not in a single one of your classes!” Alec cried, studying my timetable. I groaned and looked down at me uniform. It was a horrible shade of purple and the tie was a mucky brown.

“Do I seriously have to wear this?” I said. I didn’t want to turn up on the first day looking like a complete idiot.

“Unfortunately, yes. Don’t worry, everyone has to wear them.” Alec said. Reassured, I quickly changed and grabbed my backpack. I was about to walk out when a picture caught my eye. It was half-wedged into my bag, and as I picked it up I smiled.

It was a picture of me, dad and Luke when we where both six. Wearing cordial smiles and grubby t-shirts we had our arms around Dad, who looked more alive than I’d ever seen him.

“You coming, Luke?” Alec said from the hallway. I dropped the photo on the bed, and walked out the door.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Wolfi
Review
Wolfi wrote a review Review · May 25, 2014

Happy Review Day!
Nice job! :D
Ok, I'm going to jump right in to the little nitpicks:

I yanked my earphones out and took some deep breaths to calm myself down. “Just like all the other seven school I’ve been too?”

This should be the start of a new paragraph, since a new person is talking.
Just try you’re your best

I don't think you meant to put that "you're" there.
Rain started to pour just as I arrived at the building.

This is sudden. I think it would be good if you could mention that dark clouds had begun to congregate in the sky or something earlier in the chapter, to foreshadow the rain.
have been between twenty and forty.

Twenty or forty.
“Here’s your room key, a map and your schedule for the semester. The dormitories are in the big red building near the oval. You’ve got a roommate as well. Classes start tomorrow.” Mr. Yate said, handing me the key and the papers.

"Mr. Yate said, handing me the key and papers" should probably be placed after "semester." You might also want to combine some of these sentences to help the choppiness. And in the paragraph following this one, you say "Mr. Yate said" two more times.
“Don’t worry we have

Comma/period after "worry."
They were unfortunately in

You need some commas here: "They were, unfortunately, in..."
..asleep before my head hit the pillow.

“Damn! I’m not in a single one of your classes..

This is a little odd. Alec leaves, Zander falls asleep. Now Alec's talking. It's a weird transition.
“You coming, Luke?”

What? Isn't Luke his brother?

Ok, that's all for nitpicks! I like this; there were some little issues but you mostly wrote it very well. I love the guitar part :D I play guitar, too, and that sounds like a pretty cool guitar that Zander has. I wonder where the werewolves will come in... guess we'll see! Tag me when the next chapter is out!

User avatar
Cynder
Review
Cynder wrote a review Review · May 25, 2014

I can't wait to read the next in the series, wow. Please keep writing them! Ok, so if I were to point something out, hm.. ok so the ending I was a little confused about. Are both sons named Luke? Or did I miss something? The main character said that
"He groaned and looked down at me uniform."
I think you meant 'my,' so unless you are coming on with an accent, it's my. Either all me, or always using me. U know? Ok so other tan that, I kept wanting to read more, so that's a good sign. You clearly know the art of cliffhangers, (I'm slightly hypocrite on that,) so well done. The characters are very well introduced and I think you did a splendid job with that. If you wanted to make it really spectacular, you could go over everything and add just a smidge more, especially imagery. If you do that, you will certainly have a good series. Very good. So please, please, keep writing. Like PM me to tell me when your next work is out, thanks. Cynder.

User avatar
Ruby68
Review
Ruby68 wrote a review Review · Feb 23, 2014

Overall, I thought this was a pretty good story. I'm interested to see where this is going, and curious about Luke. There were, however some errors. Mostly they were grammatical and while I'm sure there were a few I didn't catch here are some suggestions.

This sentence: "It took a while but I did manage to find my way to the dorm’s." It should be dorms instead of dorm's.

"Two single beds, two wardrobes and a desk at the bad." I'm not sure exactly what you were trying to say here. Perhaps:...a desk at the back of the room.

“'You know, I was kind of worried about having a roommate. You know, what if we didn’t get along?'" This bit is a little repetitive with the phrase "you know."

"I groaned and looked down at me uniform." Is this supposed to be 'my' uniform?

“'You coming, Luke?' Alec said from the hallway." As Buggiedude2340 mentioned, this is quite confusing. I'm guessing this was just a mistake, but if not I don't get it.
Anyway, I thought it was pretty good. Your characters could use a little more realism especially Alec, I understand introductions, setting the stage, scenes where not much happens, ect. can be difficult. I really liked the beginning but as it goes on the characters seem a bit flat mostly, as I said, Alec.
I liked this story and will definitely take a look at the next chapter when you publish it.
Nice work!
-Ruby-

User avatar
Ventomology
Review
Ventomology wrote a review Review · Feb 22, 2014

I'm confused! Why does Alec call Zander 'Luke' at the end of the chapter? You may want to fix that if it wasn't intentional.
Anyway, I know it's late, but welcome to YWS! I'm here to review before all the nuttiness tomorrow.
First off: Grammar. I'm not sure if it's just some odd turn of phrase that I don't recognize because of the whole 'takes place in England' thing, but there seem to be some typos and odd words scattered through. You may want to reread this and check for those. Also, there are a few missing commas. That should be it though.
For technique, I think you can use tons more sensory details. I want to know more than just WHAT is in the room, but what color things are, or if anything smells old, or just the feel of the room. Use words with strong connotation. You could describe the dormitory as 'depressing', or 'boringly plain', or any other vibe that matches how you want the reader to feel about the setting. Manipulate how your reader thinks about the place!
As for plot/character development... Everything seems just a little fake. I don't know if that's on purpose, but the characters seem stiff in action. I'm sure they have habits you can tell us, or a way of speaking. Maybe you can use certain words to help them sound more casual. (Or maybe it's that fact that it's in England and I'm a rude American...) Just... make their actions more natural.
And since not much happened except for exposition, I guess I'll let you off easy on the plot department.
And now compliments!!! Great vocabulary. It was exactly the right balance between common words and uncommon ones. (especially 'cordial'. Very nice.) And also, the fact that Zander expresses personality while narrating is awesome! Sometimes I find myself reading a first-person story and they insert zero comments on what is happening, so kudos to you!
And.... that's it! Lovely job. I can't wait to see what the werewolve(s) have to do with this! Keep writing!



so many languages have fallen / off of the edge of the world / into the dragon's mouth.
— Lucille Clifton