"Double Dad" prologue

Adam suggested the whole dream sequence, but I'm a bit iffy about it. Here it is, and PLEASE be as harsh as you want. I want to go somewhere with this story so I need as much help as i can get. Thanks

PROLOGUE CORRIE'S DREAM

A loud banging noise echoed through my head. It woke me up with a start.

My eyes jolted open and the first thing I noticed was that I wasn't in my

bedroom anymore. Instead, I was in a large room, one I didn't recognise.

The walls were made of rippled galvanised steel sheets, as if the building

was thrown together overnight and was to be destroyed the next day. The

roof was of the same material too. It was raining outside and the noise it

made as it fell on the roof made me feel as if I were hung over, it was so

loud. I looked down at the floor and noticed that there wasn't one, it was

just a dirt ground like you'd find outside. It was orange and hard, with only

scattered grains and clumps here and there. I tried to write my name in the

dirt, to see if it were possible. It wasn't. I ripped my index finger nail in half

and made it flake and peel to a point that would make Aunt Claudette faint

at the sight of it. I lifted it up closer to my eyes to observe the damage.

When I did so, I heard a noise coming from the other side of the room. My

ears pricked up, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I dragged

my attention away from my brutalised nail and turned it to the direction of

the muffled groan. What I saw was rather random. It was the golden

coloured chest my mother had set aside for me. She would always tell me

that when she died she would leave me the key and I would be able to

unlock and open the chest and whatever was inside was mine to keep. I

crawled over to it, my pajama pants scuffing and scarring on the dirt. I

noticed, rather unexpectedly, that I was wearing a long crimson scarf with

dangling tassels that dragged along in the sand as I crawled. I had never

seen it before, but I left it on. I was more determined to get to the chest.

But it kept moving further and further away. I couldn't get it. Everytime I

came within 2 metres of it, it moved 2 metres away. I could hear voices all

around me encouraging me to go forward.

"Get the box!" They kept cheering. And I kept trying, really hard. But I just

could not get that box. All the voices went silent as I gained on the chest.

This time, I was sure I was going to get it. But something stopped me dead

in my tracks. A piece of white paper fell in front of me. Printed on it, in bold

black letters, were the words "To the left." Beyonce's song played in my

head as I turned to the left. A large man that I couldn't recognise was

standing over something, muttering "It starts. This is the beginning." I

found my feet and stood up, then walked over to the balding man in the

grey-white singlet with back-fat rolls. As I approached him, I noticed what

he was standing over.

"What the hell did you do?" I screamed at him.

My mothers body lay limp on the ground, her eyes pale and empty staring

up at the roof. Her neck and a rope tied around it, and her chest stayed

deflated. She lay sprawled out like a star.

"Mum? Mum?" I started screaming, hoping for a response.

"To the left, to the left" She sang.

I jumped back a metre when she did. Her voice was raspy and her lips were

blue.

"Mum, what?" I asked. I wanted her to say it again. In some way, it was

really funny.

"To the left, to the left." She groaned again.

And I did the worst possible thing.

I laughed out loud.