An even shorter chapter XD
CHAPTER 6 THE NOTE
I'm sorry for running away, but it's something I had to do. I can't be in Melbourne, I can't go to the funeral, I can't be around family and I can't pretend anymore. Don't bother trying to find me. I don't want to be found. Just give me time. And could you pick some lavender and put it on Mums coffin for me? Please? She loved lavender.
Corrie
Sorry about the length. I would've posted chapter 7 along with chapter 6 but chapter 7 is saved on my dad's computer and I got impatient.
End of chapter
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Poor Corrie. So sad....You did a great job. Totally got across the emotion in a short amount of space.
Short. Sweet. And to the point. It was sad.
...that's about it for me...
Yeah like everrryone had said verrrry short, but I'm sure you can join some of the chapters together when you have written more and stuff.
As for this piece, it was sweet, but sad.
But like Alianna said, it's very hard to give a crit to something so small, as you can't really get into any real depth.
All the best,
Meevs
x
Yes, short, but conveyed good emotion. Good Overall.
-Tony
This was indeed extremely short! I did like it though.
I like the detail about Lavender.
Please try and post more in one go, as it's hard to crit like this.
Good stuff,
Keep it up,
Alainna
xxxxxxxxx
Definetly short, but I liked it. This chapter was straight to the point, but had enough emotion in it to make you feel sorry for the girl. Update soon!