Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
Why Is Texting So Difficult When You're in Love?
"You know, you weren't at school today! I missed you!"
No shit, Sherlock! Of course, they know they weren't at school! You're not the only person who knows that anyway. And you always miss them, quit saying it like it's something special!
But... it really is special. You always miss them, even if they're gone for ten fucking seconds!
I digress.
"You weren't at school today"
Nope, that's too direct. I don't even know what emotion that's trying to display, how would they know?!
Maybe if you add a different punctuation...
"You weren't at school today!"
No, that makes it seem like you're angry! And you could never be angry at them! They're perfect; you love perfection!
Try a different one maybe?
"You weren't at school today?"
Nope. That's like you didn't even notice! Of course you fucking noticed, you were so upset during breakfast break! But you talked to another friend, and you didn't feel as lonely...
Again, I digress.
"Why weren't you at school today?"
Curious, but seems a bit demanding I suppose? I dunno, it just seems that way! You know I can't explain things. Neither can you! And you don't want to upset them. They could be sick! Or dying! Oh I really hope they're okay...
"Are you okay?"
Well... I guess, but a little out of nowhere considering you haven't texted them all day.
"Hey, how do you feel? <3"
Okay, we might have a winner! It has an introduction, it states your question, AND it has a heart! Now just to sent it to them and await--
OH FUCK THEY GO TO SLEEP REALLY SOON AND YOU NEED TIME TO TALK TO THEM
What if they're already asleep? What if they don't respond?! Today? Tomorrow? EVER?!?
CALM DOWN
Take a breath
Good, now move on before you start crying
Just send something, don't overthink it
Just think about them, and say something. That's all that matters.
"I quite missed seeing you today <3"
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139,253 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Just a little brain dump :3
I love the humour and warmth in this! You really effectively convey the sense of anxiety that me and i'm sure a lot of others also experience when trying to text someone we love. The inner monologue style of ranting/rambling works so well in highlighting the very real complexities of, well, communicating with other humans in general. The overthinking is so real, this genuinely could have been my inner monologue at some point, and it makes it playfully relatable. You have blended The humour with genuine human vulnerability, and so when by the end, the narrator eventually settles on a message - a very sweet message - it makes it feel very emotionally authentic.
I love this form of prose/poetry that doesn't quite fit on form. I hope to read some more of your work soon!
hi logan15!
my first immediate thought when i read this was trying to understand the purpose of this - i think it's definitely supposed to be something stream-of-consciousness, but it's hard to properly understand what you're trying to portray. for example, the rapid shift between thoughts are overwhelming. i really enjoy personal writing and seeing how writers interpret their emotions, but there is a line when it comes to conciseness and getting your point across without lingering.
that said, i really do feel like i am inside of the narrator's head. their voice is very self-critical, but i think that does add a lot to the narrative. i feel like i could make an argument that the voice isn't even the narrator and instead some manifestation of anxiety? but maybe that's just me overanalyzing this. the internal monologue captures a familiar and relatable anxiety. especially around communication. it's hard to get yourself out there, but it's also hard to maintain communication with people you care about. life can be ironic like that i've come to learn.
the biggest take away is that this could excel with more structure or pauses for reflection. emotion thrives when you let people feel it! there is a big lack of clear separation between internal thoughts and imagined dialogue, so i think that makes it hard to tackle the relatability. i struggled to understand which thought was the narrator's and which was from the love interest.
this is neat though! the final line ties the piece together beautifully. it's simple, but i felt engaged the whole time. good work!
best,
milkweed
Thank you for showing me your interpretation! I feel like there's never really a wrong way to interpret the things I write. Thank you for the advice, too!
lol i love this, quite literally a look into my mind :3
Aww, thanks! I needed to express some feelings lol :3