z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

On Ilya Repin's "Ivan the Terrible"

by Ljungtroll



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18 Reviews


Points: 1976
Reviews: 18

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Sat Apr 29, 2023 12:41 pm
HeartPermits wrote a review...



After reading your poem I can say that you have a very creative poetic voice.

From the words you use to the way you describe the environment, everything feels personal, yet objective. You did a great job weighing the scene with emotions - almost as if emotions were part of the scene themselves.
In that regard I especially LOVED the second verse. Their position, the notion of time, the begining grief : you depicted it very well!
I also liked the ending, on a detail. You succeeded in transforming the painting into a poem, congrats!

Maybe you could work on the structure your sentences. Sometimes I had trouble reading, because the sentences dragged on when I thought they would end. You did better on the last verse, it was much clearer.

You did a very good job!! Thank you :D




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169 Reviews


Points: 33509
Reviews: 169

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Mon Apr 24, 2023 2:33 pm
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Rose wrote a review...



Goodness gracious! What a scene!

I could totally imagine it. The blood, the silence, the regret, all part of this amazing poem. To be honest, I have never heard of this painting before, or even seen it. But it really is a fascinating work of art, and so is your incredible poem.

The emotion is heavy on the words you used to describe the situation in the best possible way. Your attention to small details is amazing, it helps the reader to really understand what is going on. Just like "the horror-heavy tsar", "the sunken eyes", "a frayed thread on his father's sleeve" and "like a dropped curtain to the floor".

In just three paragraphs, you have told the whole story behind this painting. Give yourself a pat on the back because you did a good job, not just good, but a great job. I enjoyed this poem from the quiet room to the thread on the tsar's sleeve, from the very first to the very last line.

Compliments to you!

-Rose

https://rosewriting12.blogspot.com/




Ljungtroll says...


Thank you so much for the lovely review, Rose! I'm glad you liked the poem and the painting :D



Rose says...


It was my pleasure!
And please don't mind the second review, my device has been acting a bit strange lately.
Anyway, keep up the good work!


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wuckertrhea says...


Thank you so much, Rose, for the wonderful review! I'm happy you like the poetry and the artwork. drift boss




More than anything she wanted the world to be uncomplicated, for right and wrong to be as easily divided as the black and white sections of an Oreo. But the world was not a cookie.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Tree of Wishes