Published July 27, 2010
I wrote this down because it's just how I feel. No one in particular, there isn't much meaning to this piece, but I wanted to know if it was any good. I can't tell if it's been done or if it's too un-original. Thank you!
If I had to describe someone I liked, it’s pretty hard to.
Not just personality, not just looks, but who they simply are. You can’t describe how you feel about someone in a specific word count. You can’t describe how exactly their voice, touch, look, or even eyes, make you feel… even how your heart races at the slightest mention of them, or how if you smell that scent they always smell like, or see someone with almost the same eyes, instantly your brain will flicker to them.
Almost like your brain is a TV and your remote batteries are broken, there’s no buttons on the TV to change the channels and there isn’t an on or off switch. You’re stuck there hopelessly staring at a TV of memories that just keep going. Replaying one after another, and re-winding to your favorite parts.
You just can’t look away.
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Hey LiveScreamWriting,
(awesome name btw)
I think you have a good start here, but you should elaborate more. If you used the beginning of this to start off a love story, than that would be an amazing beginning. But by itself this is pretty impacting, we all know what it's like to be like that about someone we like! You should go in depth on the rush of emotions people feel when they like someone, it would really help this little piece that you have written.
I hope that you do something with this!
-SodapopLunchbox
Hey Live,
My favorite line of it.This was really cool and I think it's sort of original
I think it could be better with description and you could try to draw the reader into it a bit more. But otherwise it was a good read.
Keep Writing.
Anger