Published July 5, 2010
It's Just What You Do To Me
Its almost funny how you don’t know
That the touch of you’re hand
Makes me shake and shiver
The sound of you’re melodious voice
Can drown out even the loudest of sounds
And its almost terrifying that I can’t stop it
Stop the way you affect me
Making my heart swell and burst
Maybe this sounds melodramatic
But just believe me, love
For when you’re here, I don’t have any fear
I ache to see you’re gorgeousness
To breathe in you’re calming smell
To feel you’re cool, smooth skin
Taste the sweet flavor of you’re lips
And look into you’re alluring brown eyes
But I can’t do that when you aren’t here
So make you’re way back to me soon
Only then will our bodies intertwine once again
~K.A.R
This poem was written by one of my closest friends. She wanted me to post this. What do you guys think?
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I like what you wrote it can be easily related to and you're only 14!
' I ache to see you’re gorgeousness,
To breathe in you’re calming smell,
To feel you’re cool, smooth skin,
Taste the sweet flavor of you’re lips,
And look into you’re alluring brown eyes. '
I like this stanza, I think it's the best compared to the others in the poem.
For pointers: * Try using some more punctuations, such as commas and semy-colons.
* When you say 'you're' I think you meant to say 'your.'
Keep up the good work!
I like what you wrote it can be easily related to and you're only 14!
' I ache to see you’re gorgeousness,
To breathe in you’re calming smell,
To feel you’re cool, smooth skin,
Taste the sweet flavor of you’re lips,
And look into you’re alluring brown eyes. '
I like this stanza, I think it's the best compared to the others in the poem.
For pointers: * Try using some more punctuations, such as commas and semy-colons.
* When you say 'you're' I think you meant to say 'your.'
Keep up the good work!
This poem is great! but I agree with MsMeagan about adding more emotion.
i feel like the part in bold, has something slightly wrong, i think it's because it doesn't quite connect with the rest of the stanza to me. Tell her to try and connect the parts by using a different word, instead of "the" in the bold part.
I think your friend is a good poem writer. I like it.
I like your poem but i think you should put more emotion in it. I see that this girl feels really special around this guy and she misses him, overall i liked it
hope I helped any