z

Young Writers Society



Star Child part 1

by Listofrandom


Black screen

Electronic explosions and shots echo in the silence. A phone starts to ring. It rings for a little bit. There's a loud sigh.

TRINA

(flatly)

Thank you for calling the Riverside Space Station, your call is very important to us, please stay on the line, an operator will be with you momentarily. And remember, it's callers like you that keep us in orbit.

Fade in:

Trina's office

TRINA, age 17, lays in the chair, playing video games.

There's a large screen sits in front of the chair she's in, and there are two large keyboards on either side of her.

A thin black headset sits in her hair. She tips her head to the side, tapping the headset onto her shoulder.

A low click sounds, and she yawns loudly. Her eyes never leave the screen.

TRINA

I hate my job.

She places her feet on either side of the monitor, sinking lower into the chair. Her stomach growls. Sighing loudly, she pauses her game.

Tipping her head back she stares at the ceiling.

The lights suddenly shut off. An explosion rocks the station, causing her to slip off her chair.

TRINA

(panicked)

What the hell?!

A bright red light starts to flash, basking the room in an eerie light. In the distance a warning siren sounds. Her eyes widen.

TRINA

Oh shit.

She shoots up into a sitting position. Her fingers dance across the keyboards on either side of her.

The screens around her flicker, but fail out. Growling in aggravation she hits a large red button, still typing frantically.

TRINA

Command Central. Come in, command central. This is Katrina Marx of the Riverside Space Station. Come in. This is the Riverside Space Station. I have an engine failure. I repeat. I have lost an engine. Hello? Can anyone hear me? Hell-

Another explosion throws her against the monitor, the red light shuts off.

Pushing herself back, she looks around, before being lifted into the air.

TRINA

And now, I've lost my gravity. Perfect.

Groaning in frustration, she rips the headset off, throwing it away from her, and pushes herself up to a hatch.

Throwing it open, she pulls herself up to the next floor, muttering under her breath.

She enters a long hallway.

Hallway

TRINA

(fake male voice)

Oh, don't worry, the station is completely self sufficient. All you have to do is answer the phone. It's for science.

She floats along the hall, using the walls for guidance when a set of emergency lights flick on.

TRINA

(High nasally voice)

You like to be alone Trina, it's a dream come true for you. And it's not like you can't fix any problems that come up, not that many will.

She fights to open a door, at the end of a hall. It takes all of her strength to open the door.

TRINA

The only good thing is that I'm al-

She jolts back, eyes wide, as a gun is shoved in her face.

TRINA

-one.

Hallway

Trina floats, bound. ZANE, 37, looms over her, with a gun pressed against her forehead. She appears unfazed.

ZANE

Who are you.

TRINA

The tooth fairy.

He jabs the barrel into her forehead, causing Trina's head to hit the wall.

TRINA

Ow! That hurt!

ZANE

Why are you here!

TRINA

I work here, dumb ass!

Zane studies her.

ZANE

This place is supposed to be abandoned.

Trina makes a face at him.

TRINA

It was until about three years ago. It's a call center now.

Zane snarls, pushing the gun harder into her forehead.

Her head tips with it.

ZANE

Who else is here!

TRINA

No one, I'm here by myself!

He leans down in front of Trina, holding the gun with one hand.

He stares at her, and she stares back.

ZANE

(in disbelief)

Liar. How old are you.

TRINA

I'm not a liar, and I'm 17.

He pulls back in shock, holstering his gun immediately.

ZANE

You're just a pup! Why are you here?

Trina glares at him, wrinkling her nose.

TRINA

I told you. I work here. You can check my badge.

Zane grabs a hold of her chin, moving her head back and forth.

She snaps at him, trying to bite his arm.

ZANE

How did a kid like you get stuck here?

TRINA

I'm a "technological genius".

ZANE

(under his breath)

Shit. I can't kill a kid.

He sighs and stands up.

Pulling a radio from his side, he turns away from her.

ZANE

Come aboard. I'll meet you in the lab.

Zane sticks the radio back on his belt.

He turns back to her, he grabs a hold of rope, lifting her up with ease. Trina's eyes narrow.

TRINA

How are you not floating around like I am?

Zane gestures to his feet.

He has on two large boots.

ZANE

Zero-Gravity boots. Why don't you have any?

He starts down the hallway, pulling her along with him.

Trina looks at him like he's an idiot.

TRINA

Man, do you see any shoes on my feet? Did you even see how I was dressed?

He smirks, not looking back at her.

ZANE

You're a little too young for my tastes kid.

A look of disgust crosses her face.

TRINA

Ew!

Zane laughs loudly.

TRINA

You're so old!

Her howls and his laughter mix together, echoing around.

Laboratory

Trina floats next Zane, as they stand in what's left of an old lab. He has a hold on the ropes, so she can't float off.

TRINA

What are we doing?

ZANE

Waiting.

Trina hums in acknowledgment.

They stand there for a few minutes.

TRINA

Will you untie me?

ZANE

No.

TRINA

...Please?

ZANE

No.

Trina starts to pout.

As they continue to wait, she rolls her head back, and makes faces and noises of boredom.

Zane slowly starts to grow more annoyed.

ZANE

If you do not shut up, I am going to throw you out the airlock.

TRINA

Can't. Airlock is blocked off, and I don't have the authority to open it.

He looks at her, watching her hover.

ZANE

You don't have the authority...You're the only person on the ship.

TRINA

That's what I said!

She's cut off by a door being forced open.

Four people come storming in.

Trina is visibly surprised; Zane stands ridged.

PENE, 26, growls at Trina.

PENE

I thought you were going to kill the crew.

ZANE

She's a child. What's the worst she can do?

PENE

Tell what she's seen here!

Trina turns to lo look at Zane. She closes her eyes.

TRINA

See? What's there to see?

Zane snarls lightly at her, her eyes slide open and she hutches into herself a little.

ZANE

Trust me, she's more of an asset at this moment. As soon as she stops being useful I'll kill her.

TRINA

Hey!

ZANE

Shut up. Do you know how to work this equipment?

Trina glowers at him, wrinkling her nose.

TRINA

I've messed around with it. Why?

Zane moves her in front of him and pushes her towards the crew, and the middle of the lab.

ZANE

Bring them out.

Trina watches quietly, as two creatures are brought out.

One of the crew members, VOLA, 28, is carrying a body covered in a sheet.

Trina pales slightly.

TRINA

What is that? It's not a body is it!

ZANE

Put it on the table.

Vola places the body on the table, being careful not to touch anything but the sheet.

Zane shoves Trina towards the table.

She floats next to it, struggling against the ropes.

TRINA

(whining)

Oh god, it's dead, it's a dead person.

ZANE

Shut the hell up!

Trina whimpers, staring at the body.

Vola removes the sheet.

Underneath it is the body of a woman. Her body is a pale grey, and her long black hair is splayed out around her body. Individual strands aren't visible, and in the inky blackness there are small white dots, like stars in space.

Next to the body was a small doll like creature, with a large head.

TRINA

(in awe)

No way...

Trina stops breathing for a moment, and just stares.

TRINA

It...it's a star child! Oh wow...she's...she's beautiful. What's the thing next to her?

ZANE

A planet child.

She starts to float away from the table, but is stopped by Zane.

Her body flips upside down.

She floats above Zane, facing away from the crew and Star Child. She cranes her head to look down at Zane.

TRINA

Aren't they illegal?

PENE

What do you think, you little shit?

TRINA

Hey!

She spins herself, as best she can, to glare at Pene.

TRINA

That was uncalled for! You guys are the ones who broke into my work place and tied me up. So the least you can give me is a lit-

Zane smacks a large hand over her mouth, but she continues to yell, though it's muffled.

Zane looks at another member of his crew, ASHLEY, 32.

ZANE

Will this lab suffice?

Ashley starts to wander around the lab, looking at everything.

He nods sharply to Zane.

ASHLEY

This will do just fine, but there is a problem...

PENE

What is it now!

Ashley continues to look at Zane, keeping his back to Pene.

ASHLEY

There is no power in the lab, I suspect it has something to do with someone's firing at the ship.

The crews eyes shift towards Pene, who snarls at them.

An explosion suddenly rocks the ship, and a loud warning siren goes off.

Everyone looks around.

Trina lets out a scream as she's suddenly dropped on top of Zane. She lays across him, mumbling in pain. Snarling, Zane flips her off of him.

Trina whimpers in pain, trying to curl up on herself.

ZANE

What the hell was that!

PENE

(slightly panicked)

That brat called for back up!

TRINA

That was the engine!

She struggles to sit up.

TRINA

The backup engines aren't meant to take the entire load of the ship! They're going to explode soon.

She stares Zane down.

TRINA

I have to go fix them. Now.

Pene stalks over to her, still snarling.

PENE

I think you're lying.

TRINA

Well what choice do you have? If I don't go fix that engine, we all go hurtling towards the earth. Do you know what will happen if we reenter the atmosphere without the thrusters?

She waits a moment, looking around at every crew member.

TRINA

We. All. die.

She uses the wall behind her back to help her stand up.

TRINA

Take your pick. Let me go fix the damn engine, or die.

Everyone stares at her, but she doesn't back down.

ZANE

Fine. I'll take her to the engine room.

PENE

But captain!

ZANE

No buts. You'll stay here and watch after the children. If it's not the engines, I'll tell you, and kill the spare.

Zane grabs Trina by the ropes again, and pulls her out of the room. She struggles to stay on her feet.

HALLWAY

Zane walks behind Trina, who's still bound. They walk for a while in silence.

TRINA

At some point in the near future, you are going to have to untie me.

ZANE

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Trina spins on a dime. Attempting to size him up.

TRINA

Why don't you just untie me now? Unless you're afraid of a 17 year old girl, Mr. Big Scary Pirate.

Zane easily spins her around and pushes her down the hall.

ZANE

You are looking to get smacked kid. Keep walking before I lose my patience.

Trina walks in front of him, making faces.

TRINA

You put on a tough face for your crew, but in reality your just a coward aren't you?

Zane growls and grabs a hold of her shoulder. He pins her against the wall pressing his gun against her forehead, and his arm against her throat.

ZANE

You're asking for this kid.

Trina stares him down.

TRINA

Do it. By the time you kill me, check to see if the engines are malfunctioning, and get back to your crew, this place will be going down. Then you have the choice of leaving the children and saving yourself, or going down with the ship.

Another explosion sounds. Zane growls and shoves his gun back in it's holster.

Trina smirks triumphantly.

Engine Room

Zane leans against a door.

Trina stands in front of a hulking machine, she has a tool belt slung around her waist, and a pair of goggles on top of her head.

She takes a deep breath and climbs into the engine.

ZANE

What're you doing.

Trina sticks her head back out.

TRINA

I'm going to fix the reactor. That's what's broken, thanks to someone apparently shooting at me!

Zane doesn't answer her and walks to the open shaft.

TRINA

What are you doing?

ZANE

Making sure you don't call for help while I can't see you. Now move.

Trina turns around, and starts the crawl through.

Zane sighs and follows after her.

While they crawl, Trina starts to mock Zane, wiggling her butt in his face.

He reaches out and smacks her butt. Trina yelps.

TRINA

Hey!

ZANE

Keep moving.

Thermal reactor

The thermal reactor is a giant tube, surrounded by nothing on each side. It glows a bright red.

Trina walks towards it, as Zane pulls himself from the shaft.

ZANE

This thing is older than I am.

He leans against the wall, watching her carefully.

TRINA

It was build in 2050.

Zane whistles.

ZANE

Damn. I wasn't even a thought.

Trina drops to her knees in front of the reactor.

She opens several panels, and starts to pull tools from her belt.

Zane fades out as she works, not interested in watching her.

After several minutes Trina stands, she reluctantly looks up at the reactor.

The bright red has faded to an ugly dark red.

She bites her lower lip.

Letting out a shaky sigh she pulls off her belt and goggles, and walks towards the reactor.

Slowly, she pushes her hand into the glowing core.

Maintaining that speed, she's engulfed by the glow.

Once inside the core, she reaches for the central gem. Reaching out she grabs a hold of it.

Her eyes widen and she gasps softly.

The skin on her arms starts to explode off of her, leaving behind robotic arms.

The cybernetics on her left arm stop at her elbow, but the fake skin on her right arm disappears completely.

Patches of skin on her legs disappear as well, showing off electronics.

She watches in horror her tee shirt starts to disintegration as well, showing off more cybernetics.

Two hands wrap around her middle, but she doesn't notice, and pull her from the reactor.

She falls back into Zane's chest, sending them both into the ground.

Her entire right shoulder, part of her neck, and down her side is exposed electronics.

Trina's face is frozen in shock, her breath comes out in wild pants.

The rector begins to cool, turning from red to a light blue.

The shock slowly starts to fade, she stares at her arms in horror.

Tears start to well in her eyes.

She curls up on herself, sobbing softly into her knees. Zane reluctantly hugs her, and tries to calm her.

fade out

Infirmary

Trina stands, naked, on the middle of a circular plate in the infirmity. She holds her arms out from her sides.

TRINA

Computer. Skin graft.

The outer part of the plate lifts up, and starts to rise.

At the places where circuitry is visible, it starts to spray a fine mist, which covers the places with skin.

Zane stands in a corner, his head turn so it appears that he's looking out a window.

From the corner of his eye he watches Trina carefully.

The machine finishes it's job and goes back to rest on the plate.

Trina moves her arms, flexing them and her fingers.

After she's done she steps off the plate towards a counter and begins put on her clothes.

ZANE

You're a robot.

TRINA

No. I'm a cyborg.

She laughs bitterly.

TRINA

I'm the first damn cyborg ever made, and what do they do? Stick me in space, away from everyone.

Zane gives her a look of interest.

ZANE

What happened?

She pulls a pair of shorts on. She grabs the remains of her shirt, staring at it.

TRINA

I don't see why you care, but I was 14. God only knows what I was doing, but a drunk driver hit me, pinning me against a brick wall. My right arm was torn off completely, most of my left arm survived, my left lung was destroyed, along with all of my ribs.

She sighs, dropping her shirt. She turns to look out a window, standing in her bra and a pair of shorts.

TRINA

98% of my organs had to be remade. The only thing that still really belongs to me is my heart and most of my brain.

Zane grunts in response.

ZANE

That sucks.

Trina spins and glares at him.

TRINA

That sucks? That sucks? Is that all you can say! It was a year, a god damn year, before I could breath on my own! That bastard left me there to die, and they never caught him. So here I am, in space, in fucking space, while that asshole runs around free. All of my friends think I'm dead! Does that just suck?!

Zane is visibly surprised by her outburst. He opens his mouth.

She cuts him off, walking towards the door.

TRINA

No. Just whatever. You're a damn pirate, what do you know about decency? Look. I'll fix the children, and when I do, I just want you to leave. I don't care what happens after that. I won't rat you out.

Zane looks after her, not moving.

ZANE

Are you really going to go out there without a shirt?

TRINA

Do you really actually care?

Zane pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

ZANE

Well, there's this thing called decency. You might not know about it.

He walks past her.

[To be Continued]


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User avatar
15 Reviews


Points: 860
Reviews: 15

Donate
Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:41 am
wakegirl wrote a review...



Hey, for starters I want to say that this story has a really fascinating topic; I wanted to read on and that is probably the most important thing with a writing.

There are a couple of grammatical errors and typo's such as the one below:

"There's a large screen sits in front of the chair she's in"

But i'm sure you will pick these up if you read it out aloud.

I think you have moulded Trina's and Zane's characters really well. You get a strong sense of who they are through there actions and what they say. There are however, a few places lines of Trina's and others as well that I don't think fit. These are shown below:

"I hate my job."- This is a valid point but I don't think you need to say it. We can tell from what we are seeing that she isn't enjoying herself.

"It's not a body is it!"- Just doesn't fit, especially with her later line about it being dead bodies (which works really well)

"you little shit?"- for me this doesn't fit with the story, the insult is valid but I don't think it's necessary to swear.

"We. All. die"- again, not needed, the silence says it all.

Apart from this I think your dialogue is good. I especially like the part where you have Trina mimic people.

The part where we discover she is a cyborg is a good idea but I think the discovery needs to be developed a bit more. I wasn't sure why her skin graft came off and why she was so upset- Did she know before that she was a cyborg? You need to make that more clear to the reader/viewer.

And just to finish things off I absolutely loved the last line. It just put a smile on my face because it was clever and cheeky and it's the sort of line I could read over and over again.

Overall it's a really good idea and well written but could still be better! So well done!

Hope this helps,
Wakegirl




User avatar
32 Reviews


Points: 374
Reviews: 32

Donate
Thu Sep 13, 2012 1:52 am
haven235 wrote a review...



The story is quite interesting, and the style showed me an alternative way to write in for the piece I'm currently working on. In the dialogue, there are some sentences that seem like they're supposed to be questions, such as :

Who are you.

or
What the hell was that!


Other than that, I think it's fine so far.


By the way, what is this script intended for? I could see that it could be a great graphic novel if that's the answer. Keep it up, I'm looking forward to what happens next.




Listofrandom says...


My best friend actually said the same thing, he's meant to be demanding, since as far as he knew the station was abandoned. And Pene doesn't ask questions, it's not his style



haven235 says...


Oh. Then good work!



Listofrandom says...


Oh and this is intended for film, that's why it's formated the way it is.




And don't forget it's hydrate or diedrate
— zaminami