I know nobody will see this, but I don’t mind.
This is a poem I made with the feelings of regret towards a creature whose death is as imminent as the ticking of a clock’s hand.
(my mom’s cat who has been there since my birth and my sibling’s).
Neglect, regret, and death:
As soon as the first ray of light hit my eyes, you were there.
Grumpy and grouchy but there nonetheless.
Purring and nudging your fluffy head against my tiny hand,
Wonder.
At the small creature who showed pleasure at the slightest of affection,
At the being that was cold as ice yet warm enough to melt your heart.
Like always, the time passed.
“Angel” was still Angel. Just this time, whiskers and fur that gained true wings.
You lost your sister.
Childish and ignorant at 6. I didn’t know what “death” was.
Tick, tock.
8 years later, your appearance is so casual that I don't notice you.
Occasionally, a pet or two. I should've done more.
Although, as teens do, I was too absorbed in myself.
I should've concerned myself more about your limited lifespan rather than the couple of pounds I wanted to lose.
I should’ve held you and played with you.
I should’ve given you all the food you wanted to eat.
I didn’t realize it, but you age too.
Tears form and I want to hold you for longer and play with you longer and feed you more.
But you won’t eat, won’t play, and won’t be held now.
I’m wrong to realize it only after I hear you won’t last more than two days.
I’m wrong to cry when I didn’t even show you enough affection.
I’m wrong for the words I spewed at you when I was upset.
I didn’t mean it,
I’m sorry.
I don’t know if I’ll have enough strength to watch as you breathe your last breath.
But you’ve been there for me my whole life, so I should be there too.
To the 21-year-old cat,
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This one hits very close to home for me. I, too, once had a cat that I loved, that also disappeared from my life fairly recently. His name was Oreo (being a tuxedo cat), and I loved him very much.
That being said, I can definitely see the passion and love and sadness in your words. I loved how you went through so many of the moments that you’ve known him, but not the big ones. It is the small moments in life that really tug at the heart-strings when you remember them. I can also see and feel your regret in so many of these lines, which I believe is what you were going for.
That being said and as much as I love this poem, it does seem a bit cliche. This is such a common trope of someone who loses another, and reminisces and is feeling regretful about the times past. Yes, you can still write about your regret and neglect. However, I would have liked to see it presented in a more unique format.
Overall, it was an amazing piece that hit close to home. I could feel the words and almost hear your voice. A wonderful time spent reading indeed.
Yes, thank you very much!
Alright first I need to take a minute to give you my perspective, then we can approach the literature.
Our nonhuman family is just that. Just as we neglect and feel regret for the human relationships in our lives, we feel the same thing for nonhumans. Coping with death is always so painful, and our animal siblings have such a strong impact in often a small amount of time.
Your feelings are so real and so valid and I think this frequently about my own pets. I hope I loving them enough. I hope I’m giving them a good life. But you were not the only one in this animals life, they had a whole family. Realistically I know there’s nothing I can say to absolve these feelings because that regret will follow us through ever loss, human or not. There is always something we wish we’d done. I hope you can remember and focus on the good times, think more about all the love you shared and the other relationships that gave this cats life meaning.
Ok I’m crying so let’s look at the line writing shall we?
I think you do a great job of showing the passage of time in terms of different life spans. I think any writing that takes place over years has that extra opportunity to introduce confusion or poor explanation of the time passing.
The way you follow the life of the cat through your own is very well done, with you view and relationship being altered with time in the way every relationship is.
All those “I should have” lines really get to me. That grief is so powerful and universal and I wish you didn’t have to feel that. I really truly hope your memory of this cat and the accompanying feelings will be overwhelmed with the positive, with the love you gave and received, with the funny and happy moments. The regret just hurts, it doesn’t help. And no one you share a relationship with like that would want you to suffer in regret.
Anyway I am both rambling and have nothing to say because I want it to feel ok but I know it’ll always hurt, at least a little. We can only learn from our regrets and remember the good times.
Very well written and yes this made me cry.
Thank you. Your response, too, made me cry. I think I feel a little better now. Thank you for your kind words.
Hi there fellow writer it’s Coffee here to drop a heartfelt review!
First of all, people will see this. This is a beautiful poem and I will make sure people see it and feel the same. Regret is a beautiful feeling because that means that you do care, it means you are worthy to feel regret for that thing. It means you did love your cat. That’s your cat. It’s your mum’s, yours and your sister’s. The cat must’ve loved all of you even though cats don’t tend to express it well and it’s ok that you didn’t see it. It’s ok. I don’t have pets myself, but your cat would be upset if it saw you like this. Say goodbye to your cat, stroke its head and whisper that you will love and cherish it forever. Don’t add another card to your regrets.
And if you don’t or didn’t that’s totally fine. Because it’ll know. Trust me..they always do.
I can’t do much about the regret but I hope it gets better over time. Many say it does but it won’t go away completely. I just hope you heal, take your time.
Don’t blame yourself though. It’s not your fault at all.
I love this last line because it’s very meaningful and I hope you understand that it’s ok and your cat will always be a dear memory. I’m sure it knew that you loved it. Animals tend to know.
Thank you for comforting me, it means a lot (now I'm crying again TT). And thank you for making my work known, even when you didn't have to. The people here are so kind it sometimes feels unreal.
No problem it brings me joy! Yes, haha, I thought that too when I first came here, I thought I was dreaming and people secretly thought I was weird lol. In reality, this site just proves that humanity is still safe! I am glad you feel better!!<3 You can always come to me if you have any issues at all!