once again helpful hints or thoughts?
rain is falling ever so gently
like it doesn't really want to
moving towards a new place
a confused boy in the backseat
playing in the sandbox, happy
a golden-haired mother nearby
a charmed life you could say
or so it seemed to the boy
flashing lights, sirens, scared
mother laid out on a white bed
people carrying her away
no one explains to the boy
new house with other children
the boy is sitting on a bed
other kids ask him to play
but they aren't his mother
people tell him "your mom is gone"
he answers "I know that"
they say "then why don't you go play?"
he whispers "because I'm waiting for her to come back for me."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
I know I had trouble with the title, I was so eager to post it that I didn't take time on it. Suggestions are welcome however!
awww...its sad. but its good. The only thing needed to change is the basic capitalization and punctuation. I'm not so sure that title fits the poem. Other than that it was very good. : )
Keep it up!!!
-BG-