The Prisoner

by Lil_Pau

Published January 12, 2008

In The Dark, Despair And Nowhere : Collection

The Prisoner

He sits in his lonely cell,
Isolated within stone walls.
Passing years stole his youth,
Rats nibbled his strength away.
He tries to reach the sky
But is swallowed
by the darkness
of guilt.

Comments & reviews · 5
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J.C. Belding
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J.C. Belding commented Comment · Jan 13, 2008

I enjoyed the simplicity of this, but it was quite cliche and rather bland. Try using more extravagant and meaningfull words to liven up your work and add more debth to it.

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Lil_Pau
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Lil_Pau commented Comment · Jan 13, 2008

Thanks (to all who reviewed my work!)
:D :D

1dering at stars wrote a review Review · Jan 13, 2008

I really like this. Its short and simple, but has a good format and flows nicely. I like it because it seems like it has a lot of different meanings and could mean something else to each different person, but still has a story (even if a very short one) of its own. Great job. :smt038 (applause)

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thething912
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thething912 commented Comment · Jan 12, 2008

"He tries to reach the sky
But is swallowed
by the darkness
of guilt."

I think you could also say that he reaches for the sky but is swallowed by the darkness of guilt. Also there should be a period or comma after sky.



Life is a banana peel and I am the fool who dared to tread on it.
— looseleaf