I just want you to wrap me in your arms
Tell me you love me
Ignore the alarms
As long as I'm with you
I'll be safe
You're the one to clear my path
Right now I'm feelin' unsafe
Baby I just want you
Even if it's the end
I wish it could be something to believe in
Baby take me away from the darkness
I'm covered in nothing but sin
I feel lonely, like a carcass
Baby just hold me...
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,851 Reviews
Hello, here's a review.
I'm not a poet. I say that every time I review poetry. It's because I'm not and I don't want offend anyone.
I liked the love aspect of this poem. The way you portrayed it gave it much more meaning than I was ever looking for. I'm not the lovey kind of girl, but I enjoyed reading this work of art. The word selection really intrigued me. It felt, to me, like she wanted his love in a needing kind of way, and I've never seen that before.
AnnMath leaving once again for another sculpture of words.
Hello, here's a review.
I'm not a poet. I say that every time I review poetry. It's because I'm not and I don't want offend anyone.
I liked the love aspect of this poem. The way you portrayed it gave it much more meaning than I was ever looking for. I'm not the lovey kind of girl, but I enjoyed reading this work of art. The word selection really intrigued me. It felt, to me, like she wanted his love in a needing kind of way, and I've never seen that before.
AnnMath leaving once again for another sculpture of words.
HEELLO Lightning North,
A song about needing your true love. When I first saw the name, the song "Let Me Love You" by Justin Bieber suddenly came to mind. I don't know why, it just did.
You could add something more creative to the song. I'm not saying it isn't good- every song is unique- but the love concept has been repeated and repeated in most songs. I like that third to last line where you mentioned "sin". Not many songs do that so that's a starter.
I noticed it's your first day here. Congrats on your first post! I only found YWS a few days ago so I know where you stand.
Keep writing,
Night Kaizer