Published December 15, 2011
You say you got raped
Yeah, you say you were raped
Your mouth should be taped
Yeah, your mouth should be taped
Were you really raped?
Hey, did you really get raped?
And was your mouth taped?
Hey, did you get your mouth taped?
If not
Then what the hell should be done?
If not
I think there's one thing to do
~Chorus~
Don't lie
For I will rape you just to make it true
Don't lie
Honesty's never made a pack with you
Don't lie
Attention seeker will soon feel my force
Don't lie
It's time to give you honesty, of course
Don't lie
Lie
Lie
You got him locked up
Yeah, he's locked in the slammer
He wouldn't pay up
So you brought down the hammer
Seedy little fat bitch
your mouth is cold like a fucking trigger
Assasination switch
pulled down, and you got a house that's bigger
You say you were raped
Yeah, you say you got raped
But, no one believes you
Yeah, no one believes you
(chorus)
The evidence wasn't conclusive
The evidence wasn't conclusive
But the law fell in love with you
Yeah, the law fell in love with you
It's time for some payback
(chorus)
Don't Lie
I don't even find you attractive
I need to use some viagra just to raise it up
Don't lie
You know I don't find you attractive
I need this fucking viagra just to raise it up
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141,381 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
This was choppy and messy and you know what....
I loved every bit of it. Don't change a thing, it's brilliant just the way it is. It was told straight from the heart and you literally poured your soul out with pen and paper. I could feel the intensity in every the line, the words practically being spat rather than sung. Incredible and impeccable, I just absolutely loved it. I have no critique so there's really nothing else for me to say here. Keep writing!
All i'm saying is, God I loved this haha. Don't change anything, no matter who it may offend. Stick to the message you intended the song to portray. Good work.
Hey there, LoL!
That's gotta be the best acronym for a YWS username so far. I'll call you that for now on!
Regarding your song, I have to say it's got a certain edge to it that you don't see in popular music. It's definitely something that will edge someone into a direct thought, and you bring your honest-to-god truth into the lyrics without shame or doubt. Now, there are places that I think could use some re-wording, as in the first stanza and its successors. I think that the idea of rape is already prevalent in the song, so making things a bit more subtle would be a good thing, I think.
I actually laughed at the mention of needing viagra--almost calling the girl a form of erectile dysfunction. Of course, that's also a pretty raw lyric, and outside of rap, you don't hear much singing about penises and the need for viagra. Except for that one country song that I hate.
Now, the best stanza of the entire song, in my opinion, is
I think it hits home the idea that you really wanted to make with this song, and I think that the rest of the song could benefit from being a bit more like this stanza.
Now, my final word of advice is to do some thinking about saying "I will rape you"--it's not usually received well by the public...or anyone, for that matter. Unless they're into that sort of thing.
Anyway, I hope this helps, so let me know if you have any questions or comments.
-Lumi