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Fairy Diary | Day 11

by Liberty500


The next morning, Luke went to The Well. He looked at the fairies who were buzzing around, fixing the explosion. A few days ago, there had been a horrible explosion. He noticed a couple of fairies with magnifying glasses, trying to look for clues. He sighed, it was basically his fault that this happened. Ashley. It's because of Ashley! She wanted to turn back into a fairy! He was fuming. After a while, he noticed that he was standing in front of an unfamiliar house. He looked at it. House A. He knocked on the door and the very same girl, who came out of the diary was standing in front of him. She was still in her pajamas.

"Why did you have to turn back?" he asked trying his best to keep his voice low. It was still dawn, barely anyone was awake. The girl, Ashley, looked surprised.

"What do you mean?" she questioned his question. "I had explained everything!"

"Well, because of you, I have to suffer the pain of watching The Well get reconstructed." he said.

"Well, I'm sorry." she was about to close the door, but Luke kept it open.

"You do realize that the Queen could find out, right?"

"Yes." she nodded calmly.

"So? Why don't you do something about it?"

"Because you were the one who transformed me!"

"Well, what about the freakin' Forbidden Book Of Magic?!" he yelled. He was losing his temper. Ashley gestured him to lower his voice. She slammed the door in his face and Luke flew all the way back home. House L.

While Luke was flying home, Lily's parents were discussing Layla's future. She was becoming really absorbed in fashion. They had asked her what she wanted to be in the future and she had said she wanted to be a fashion designer. They'd asked her this question a year ago, and now it was time that she get applied to a university. Grade twelve was already finished for their daughter. Just the prom and the graduation and it was all over! They had to start searching for universities. 

Once Luke arrived home, he looked at the time, 7:07. "Already?!" he exclaimed which brought mom and dad to come out of their room. They had been awake too but they didn't know that he was out. "Good morning, hon" mom said and planted a kiss on her son's forehead. Dad smiled at him, that was his way of saying good morning.

"Lea! Its time to wake up now!" mum yelled up the stairs. She didn't want to go upstairs, after all, mom and dad's bedroom was downstairs, not upstairs. 

"I'm almost ready!" sixteen-year-old Lea yelled back down. She was getting ready for camp. Lily was helping her get a proper outfit; Lea was a lazy person when it came to outfits. 

"No! That's the worst combination ever!" Lily shrieked as she stared at Lea wearing black jeans with a short wintery yellow dress.  

"What? It looks fine." Lea rolled her eyes. "Get me some clothes then, don't just wait there, staring!" Lily rushed to Lea's closet and took a hold of anything that'd look nice. She chose an in-between-knee-and-feet dress with embroidery. She smiled at her sister, "How about this?" Lea agreed. Lea was going to her first day of spring camp and she was getting late; she was going to be away for three weeks. 

Meanwhile, downstairs, Layla had come down stairs for breakfast. Luke, Layla, mom, dad, and Louis were completely ready for breakfast. "How much more longer till the two come down?" Louis groaned, "I'm starving!" 

~  ~  ~

Why are you writing only?

Because I want to.

Can I please write? I have a lot of stuff to write too.

No! 

I'm going to write, now. Get lost.

I'm going to go sleep, it's eleven o'clock anyways.

Yes!

~  ~  ~

The family had finished eating their breakfast and everyone went their own ways. Dad to work. Lea to camp. Luke to park. Layla to her friend's birthday party. Louis to campus. Lily to park. And, mom to kitchen. To clean up.

Before dad went to work, he had to first drop Lea off for camp. It was a three hour drive.

Luke went to the park and coincidentally, he saw Ashley with Andrealama. He sneaked behind the slide, stealthily. He eavesdropped on their conversation.

"I still don't understand how you came back!" That was Andrealama.

"Really? I told you so many times! What part don't you understand?" Ashley giggled.

"Everything!" Andrealama said. That was when Luke heard a whoosh. He looked around and saw Lily walking towards him. He flew to her and smacked his hand over her mouth. His sister bit him and was about to smack him on the head when Ashley said hi.

Luke groaned. "Ugh."

"What are you doing here?" she waved Andri over. Andri glared at Lily, which made her cower behind her brother.

"Andri! That's not nice!" Ashley scolded.

"Are you older?" Luke asked, curious. He was shifted from one foot to the other. He loose jeans made a 'shhh' noise. Ashley nodded. "Of course, I'm four years older."

"You're in grade nine?" Luke asked which was replied by a nod from both the A sisters. "Nice." he nodded and smiled in his head, knowing that she was going to be in his grade next year.

"You're gonna be in grade ten next year?" Lily asked meekly. Ashley nodded.

"Well, are we going to get to the real conversation now, or what?" Andri growled, flicking her blond hair behind her back, narrowing her eyes at Lily.

"Why do you keep glaring at Lily?" Luke growled back.

"She's my ex-friend. My. Enemy." Andri said pointing out her finger and stabbing it in the air towards Luke. Luke looked at Lily and saw a tear slip down. Even though she always protected him and stood up for him it was time that he give her his payment.

"Oh really? Well maybe you guys still would've been friends if YOU hadn't listened to the darn fake stuff Emalia said! And, maybe, you could've listened to what Lily wanted to talk to you about! Maybe, you would have still been friends!" he was getting so annoyed now. He looked at Andri, she had a shocked look on her face. She looked... guilty, regretful and sad. Luke stormed away, dragging Lily behind him.

In the meantime, Layla was at her friends birthday party, they were having a blast! They'd had cake, pizza, gift opening and games! Layla's friend, Enchanter, was busy buzzing around, making everyone have a fun time. It was almost the end of the party. Some of Enchanter's friends were sleeping over, like Layla, Jilly, Yin, and Kim.

Meanwhile, all the way across town, Louis was at his campus. He had forgotten to get a few of his books that he had to study. He buzzed in and out of his dorm room trying to figure out where he had left his book. He turned around to look at his dorm mate.

"You did something to it, didn't you, bro?" Louis said flatly.

"Nuh-uh. I cross my heart, I did not do anything." Louis's dorm mate, Gabe, said.

"C'mon, dude! I swear you had it last time I was at campus!" Louis was getting annoyed. He had a short temper.

"I put it back on your desk, in the red binder. Check again, dumbo." Gabe snickered. Louis flew to his wooden desk to see if what his mate said was true. He flipped through his red binder and Voila! he had found it. He scowled at Gabe and stormed out of the dorm hall. He flew all the way back home in the bus. Once he arrived, mom asked him to help her clean up the house a bit. He found an excuse and said he was supposed to study.

"Okay, but once you're done, please help me." mom begged. More like, ordered.

Lily and Luke were in the living room, talking. About how Andri abandoned them to figure out how to return the Forbidden Book Of Magic and to apologize to Her Majesty.

"Luke, what if we-" she cut herself off because Louis flopped onto the couch and started dozing off. "Louis! Get up! You just woke up." Lily scowled and Louis, out of annoyance, flew to his room.

"So what were you saying?" Luke asked his younger sister.

"I was saying that what if we return the Forbidden Book Of Magic the way we stole it?"

"Are you kidding me? Have you even seen the Paper yet? It's all everyone is obsessed with, they want to find out who stole it and punish those people!" Luke freaked out. His sister was acting like the Witch in town. Acting like a risky brat.

"We should at least try!" Lily's eyes wandered to the clock. "We should do it today. It's only ten o'clock, right now."

Luke sighed, "I guess you're right."


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140 Reviews


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Sun Apr 28, 2019 4:39 am
Toboldlygo wrote a review...



Hello!

First off, this is a great work! I really like it. I'm going to give you some general feedback, first, because it's something that's mildly annoying format-wise (but nothing to do with what you wrote). Please be careful of using too much special text formatting (ie, bold text, italics, underlines, etc.)! It actually makes it harder to read what you're writing. Some people use italics to represent thoughts or flashbacks, and that's fine, but too much special text and it gets harder for the eye to focus, especially for bold text. Plus, if you wanted to bold something to bring attention to it, we then lose the effect you wanted. Of course, if you meant to have all that bold just ignore what I'm saying, but I thought it worth mentioning as a general rule of thumb.

Another thing I would suggest is having a summary or a brief introduction of what happened previously, so that as we read through the chapters as you post them, we don't have to go back and re-read 12, 20, 30 or so chapters to remember what was happening leading up to the most recent. Just a couple sentences would be helpful.

On to some nit-pickyies:

"He knocked on the door and the very same girl, who came out of the diary was standing in front of him." This sentence isn't phrased the best way in my opinion. I think even just adding a comma after diary would help, but you really don't need a comma at all.

"Ashley gestured him to lower his voice. She slammed the door in his face and Luke flew all the way back home." She gestured him to lower his voice and then slammed the door? Why would she slam the door if she's worried about noise, or why would she try to make him lower his voice if she's going to cut him off by closing the door in his face, anyway?

"Lily rushed to Lea's closet and took a hold of anything that'd look nice. She chose an in-between-knee-and-feet dress with embroidery." What kind of camp is this??? When I think, I think of sweaty shorts and t-shirts, sunscreen, and deet, not embroidered sundresses. I think having more of a description of the camp would be helpful to understanding this choice (or is Lily just an idiot?).

"Why are you writing only?

Because I want to.

Can I please write? I have a lot of stuff to write too.

No!

I'm going to write, now. Get lost.

I'm going to go sleep, it's eleven o'clock anyways.

Yes!" I'm not sure what's going on in this section. Is it a conversation? Private thought? Telepathy? With whom is he speaking?

"Luke looked at Lily and saw a tear slip down. Even though she always protected him and stood up for him it was time that he give her his payment." This section doesn't quite make sense to me. It implies he's about to go after Lily, not defend her. It actually made the next section harder to understand because of that.

Overall, this is very nice! I appreciate the strength of your characters and how you clearly know exactly where you're going with the story.

Toboldlygo




Liberty500 says...


Thanks for the review! <3 Just saying: The bold word is Luke writing in the diary and the normal text is Lily writing. They basically just write stuff in their diary about their day. Also, they're fairies and have magical powers, so they hack into the diary from anywhere they want. Lol. Anyways, I should have mentioned the camp wasn't sporty or outside. It's indoor and it's related to house chores. That's what Lea lies to do best. ;) Thanks again for the review! <33



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Wed Mar 13, 2019 7:40 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello, it is I FlamingPhoenix here with a short but sweet review for you.

Okay so I want to talk about the family you are starting to build in to book. So before this story was focused on Ashley, and I do still think it is. But your building the relation ships between the family, and to me that's really great.
So I'm going to tell you a little something that I think would be a little exciting in the future chapters. But you don't have to do it if you don't want to.
Okay so I was thinking, Luke and Lily seem to have a really good relation ship, and they kind of do things together. And it lets your reader get to now them a little better, so i was think why don't you have Lily or Luke spend time with there over brothers and sisters. I thought that would make up for a funny chapter.

But over all I think we needed a chapter like this, and you did just that. So now I know how the family is, and what they are like. Also I can't wait to see what will happen when the Queen finds out.

I can't wait to see the next chapter. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix. :D
Reviewing with a fiery passion.




Liberty500 says...


Thanks!! :D I'll keep that idea in mind.





Glad I could help out a little. Your story is coming along really well. :D



Liberty500 says...


Thanks.




I will not condemn you for what you did yesterday, if you do it right today.
— Sheldon S. Maye