Heeeeeey, Diary! Why do you always start of with Hey Diary? I don't know. Why? Because... I don't know. Oh, cool. That's cool? It is 1:38 am and you are awake, writing on me? Yes. Problem? No. Good. I'm gonna sleep now, unlike SOMEFAIRY. Please close me now.
~ ~ ~
Hiiiiiii again!
Can you please start using a different greeting?!
Example?
Uh... Write in Catalan.
Hola. Jo trist.
That means "Me sad" and it does not make sense.
Diary! Stop annoying me! I actually AM very sad! :(
Oh. What happened?
It was Andrealama.
What could SHE have done to YOU?
The worst thing possible!
And that is...
Stealing my friend! My bestie! My only bestie! My only friend! ;(
How did she steal Emalia?
By playing with her all the time and *sniff sniff* dragging her away when I wanted to talk to her.
I knew Andrealama was a devil! It was her stupid hair all along!
Shh... Shh... it's okay! You've got me!
You're not even a fairy! All you do is talk.
:( That was mean. I really want my bestie back.
You want me to help?
How are you going to do that?
I don't know.
Ugh. Whatever.
~ ~ ~
Diary! Omg, literally today was, omg, like, omg, like crazy! Andrealama was in a fairy bad accident! Her mother didn't survive though. Her father is very weak and the doctors are saying that there is little chance for him to survive! What should I do?!
The answer is sitting in front of your face. Go and comfort her! She's probably really sad especially since you've been bullying her for so long!
I wasn't bullying her! At all!
Were too.
Was not!
Were too!
Was not! Ok, let's stop this stupid fight and please tell me what to do with Andrealama.
Lily dear, this is your problem to solve! You have to figure out your own way! I can't always just sit here and answer every single one of your questions. Especially your own personal questions. You have to find the right key to your door.
Find the right key to my DOOR? What does that mean?
Think...
Stop being do mysterious! Just tell me!
I told you: YOU have to find the right key to your OWN door.
I am so confused. You are useless.
Ow! It's not nice to through a diary on the ground, you know! Ow! I think you may have broken my spine! Aiee!
Shut up, you useless piece of junk!
~ ~ ~
Omg, Diary! Andrealama told me what happened and I feel like the fairy who caused the accident!! *sob sob*
Really? What happened, dear?
Basically, Andrealama was coming over to my house, and she wanted to ask me if I wanted to do a class project together,
Whaaaa???
I know! I've been so mean to her and I have not even realized that she has feelings too! She just wanted to be my friend this entire time!
I told you, that YOU were the one bullying her!
What am I going to do?! I hate myself!
Jeez, can you stop writing so hardly on me? You're shoving the led into my papers! :(
Sorry.
Diary?
Yes?
I asked Andrealama to come over today. I went to her house and asked.
Wow! You're a fairy good girl!
*blush* Thanks. But Diary, what am I gonna talk to her about?
Talk about the class project, talk about her family, talk about her hobbies, etc. Try to be her friend.
Her friend?
Yes, her friend.
I'll try.
DING-DONG-DING-DONG!
Oh my, that's probably Andrealama! See ya later!
*giggle* Enjoy yourselves!
~ ~ ~
Ugh. That dummy forgot to close me. Anyways, I'll just talk to you guys, yes you! You, the fairy who is reading me.
Oh, your a human? Ok, I'm sorry. Forgive me.
What shall we talk about while Lily and Andrealama play? Wait! I know!
How do you do? Your doing fine? Just fine? Nothing more than fine? No? Okay.
~ ~ ~
Oh hello darling Luke!
Yo.
Yo? What language is that?
It's called English.
That's some very weird English.
Does Lily write all her depressing thoughts in this dang diary?
Um, excuse me?
You have been excused.
I can't really be excused because I'm stuck to your hands.
Should I drop y-
NO!!
You're mean!
Am not!
Are too!
Am not!
Whatever, let's forget this stupid fight!
I didn't start it, anyways.
Liar.
I read all of Lily's previous diary entries, what's up with her and Andrealama? Andrealama is such an angel! She'd never try to steal anyone from anyone. Lily never told any of us about this.
She didn't?! Talking to your family makes your problems solve faster! Oh, Lily! What has that fairy done to herself?!
So she's been sharing all this weirdness with you only?
Yes, she has. Problem?
No.
So?
It's just that, she's been sharing all this stuff with you and nobody in her FAMILY knows about this! We all love her and she just hides all her worries away in you?!
Dear, it's her decision, she gets to share these secrets with whomsoever she desires.
Why the heck are you talking in such a weird way?
That is how I talk.
Well, that's not how you did talk in all the previous entries!
Why in the world do you have a problem with that Luke?
She's my older sister! I care about her feelings! I want to stick to her side like a good little brother whenever she needs me! I want to be a nice brother to her even if she pranks me or tricks me or whatever!
Oh... I'm... I'm sorry...
It's okay, you don't have a family, you don't know how it feels anyway.
Dear Luke, I DO know how it feels. I DID have a family! I've been cursed to stay as a diary.
What?!
Yes, so you see- what is that noise?
Oh no! It's Lily!!! She's coming into the room with Andrealama!
Oh no! Hurry! Hide in the closet! Shoo shoo! Aiee! You stupid boy! You've hurt my spine!
~ ~ ~
Oh no!
What happened?
It's Luke! He saw all my diary entries and now, he's just gonna pity me like a poor person! *sob sob*
Dear, you missed half of what he wrote, he cares about you! Luke wants to be your favorite brother!
But he should have taken permission from me before writing on you!!!
Jeez, it's not like I could have slapped him on the face and tell him to get lost or anything!
True, but still!
Still what?
Humph! Nothing!
Anyways dear, how was your afternoon with Andrealama?
Oh, Andri was such-
Who is Andri?
Andrealama.
You gave her a nickname?
Yes.
You used to hate her in the beginning and bullied her and now... a nickname? Are you kidding me?!
No! Shut up, and let me continue!
Sure.
So basically she came over and once I opened the door to let her in, i realized that she has an awesome sense of fashion!
Really?! What did she have on?
She had a beautiful white V-neck sweater along with the most expensive Wranglers TM jeans!! AHHHH!!! It was soooo chic!
Chic? When did you start using THAT word? Did you somehow look into my vocabulary book?
What? No! Andri uses that word.
Oh...
Ok, I'll continue now. She had converse shoes on. Lea an Layla were all over her clothes. They were drooling at her sweater! Mom even came in saying: Oh my! Are these Wranglers' jeans?! It was soooo embarrassing!
Lol. What happened after?
Chillax, I'll get to that part soon.
Ok, what's up with this new word, now? Chillax? Is that even a word?
It IS, now be quiet! Ok, ok. Then, we went to the living room and surfed through the channels while sharing our hobbies, our favorite food, etc. And, my oh my! We are soooooo alike! I was so surprised every time she said "same-ieee!" or "twinsieees!"
After watching my our favorite channel, YTV, we went to the kitchen and grabbed some of our favorite foods to snack on. Then we went to the back yard and took turns on the hammock. She did the coolest tricks on it!
Aww... I wish I could have seen...
Too bad for you! Lol.
Ha ha, very funny.
After that, we came inside the house and started playing tag until mom got so annoyed that she sent us both to my room! There we talked about school and all the gossips and rumors that were spreading.
You never share any of that stuff with me!
I'm sorry!
*sigh* it's okay.
:D
Once the clock stroked 5 pm she had to leave :(. I was so sad! But then, an idea popped into my head. I asked Andri if she could sleepover, and she said she'd love to! :)
You guys sure clicked, huh?
Yeah. Even mom said that she could sleepover! I'm so happy!
So when exactly will she be coming? Tomorrow afternoon.
Tomorrow afternoon?!
Yeah. Is there a problem with that?
No, yes, well, actually you're forgetting something.
What?
End of chapter
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140,178 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
Hey girlboss, it's your least favorite gemstone here to review my favorite series on yws. Fairy Diaries is my sole reason for getting up in the morning, and I've just spent 7 hours studying, so I think I could use a refreshing break. With that being said, let's begin
This chapter was not my favorite from you, the internal dialogue chopped up your story, dragged on for too long, and the pacing felt weird throughout. I won't nitpick them specifically, but the one long area of just internal speaking doesn't fit well with the rest of the theme you have set up. Along with that, another thing I have mentioned in the past is how the multiple punctuations for one sentence is overused. I feel it is very overused here.
Another small nitpick would be the word chilax, WHY was there a whole section dedicated to mentioning how weird the word is? there is also a lot of ... and it halts the flow of the story. I don't put ... every time... I think... see how if it's used properly, it can create suspense. Don't overuse it.
With that being said, I know how proud you are of this series, and I'm proud of you for writing it. I do love reading it (may start a fan club) the plot is very cool to read, and I like where you decided to go with the story. Each chapter really helps to further the world-building you started, and it's pretty solid!
With much hatred for u, Jade
i am not proud of this what are u talkin about
sh nobody asked
So the diary not only takes back and seems to have a life of its own, it was also cursed to be a diary? I didn’t expect that. I can’t wait to read the other entries to find out why the diary is cursed. Maybe it was a fairy girl just like Lily. Maybe it bullied someone just like Lily did and was forced to become a diary because of it. I hope that you will have a good day/night.
Hello, FlamingPhoenix here again with another review like I processed, sorry for the long wait. I wanted to get some green Room reviews in.
Okay let's start.
So over all I will have to say this is one of the best chapters yet. You want to know why, well I will gladly tell you, It looked like you were focusing on Lily's Diary, which by the way I had know idea was alive until now, so really cool twist in the plot. By knowing this information it makes the story a lot more interesting, and I know there is another three chapters for me to read and review.
The funny thing is, is that I didn't think a Diary could talk back, let alone have a personality, so in the coming chapters I'm expecting her to have a large roll now we know about it.
What else was really nice was that I got to know a lot more about Luke, I have to say that was the funniest part of the chapter. So great work.
I would like to know that they diary looks like. But that is a miner thing that I can live with. I really liked reading and giving you a loving review which by the way you deserve. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.
Oh and wile you write I will be off to read your next chapter.
Your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Thank you!
Enjoy the next chapter/diary entry!
I sure will.
Hey, liberty!
I've been seeing this story around YWS and I'll admit I have been curious, so I thought I'd check it out. (Though I do apologize if I get anything wrong, seeing as this is the first chapter I've actually read through!) It's kind of cute - this exchange between a fairy and her diary - and it's kind of strange - though this is a fairy world, which means just about anything is possible, I suppose!
For being fairies though, these girls certainly sound like the regular... pre-teen girl. :p Other than the diary being able to communicate with Lily, nothing else in this chapter sounds super fairy-ish, if that makes sense. I was sort of hoping to hear about some crazy antics or fairy dust or anything remotely similar to that, but this chapter appears to be pretty devoid of that. Really, these girls sound like normal girls to me doing normal girl things, which you might want to consider changing up.
But concerning the actual diary, I'll admit that I become quite confused at times. The italics threw me off a bit. It was difficult to figure out who was speaking and I had to repeatedly stop reading and make sure I knew who was saying what. It was easier to separate the voices when you emboldened Luke's words, but I wouldn't suggest using bold in your text. Basically, this whole story is told in dialogue. There are only two voices used together, and I think that's why I found it difficult to read. I'd suggest having Lily write more, and then separating the diary's comments, like this:
That way we can hear more of the story and what's happening, since that's what is crucial and that is what makes the story, after all; and it would liven things up a bit instead of simply having paragraph after paragraph, which can become tedious.
But since I mentioned Luke, I will say I found that part of the story kind of funny. As soon as he wrote the first "yo", I thought, hey, i like this kid. It's a little weird that he's writing in his sister's diary?? But okay. I mean, that is the only way he can communicate with it. Great job at distinguishing between his voice and his sister's, though!
I don't think I mentioned, but I found this bit amusing, as well:
Even though it's supposed to be sad. Whoops.
Anyhow. I think that is all I have to say for now. I didn't find the first section necessary, when Lily is writing at 1 am, since nothing significant happens, but after that, the story picked up. It's kind of a cute little story, and I'm glad you're being so consistent with it and posting regularly.
If you have any questions about review, do let me know! I hope I didn't sound too critical or rude, and I do hope you have a lovely day.
Keep it up!
~rosette <3
Thank you very much! <3 It's a wonderful review! I think i should separate the Diary's words a bit...
Anyways, if you want to find out about why the diary talks, read this:
Fairy Diary | Day 4
I loved this, it was really great! I feel like you're setting up for some great conflict! I love how you make it feel like a diary! There was only two things that bothered me.
One, according to Lilly, Andri ushered her best friend away from her, that doesn't really seem like her trying to be friends with her. Maybe if instead she tried to join the twos conversation?
Second, Whenever they sighed or laughed, it kind of broke the feel of the diary. It made it feel more like they were talking on the phone, or something.
But, then again, I loved how you had the diary complain about being opened late at night, or being pressed on to hard, you did a great job on that, I can't wait to see more from you!
As always, keep writing!
Thank you sooo much! At least I'm not having many mistakes as I was before!
Yeah! Your doing a lot better!