A really good piece! I am enjoying this a lot. I didn't have time to read the whole publishing but I have read the first bit. I am really impressed and this is improved already from some of your other works.
One of my suggestions would be to develop your language features a bit more! For example, "the questions spilled out of me, like puke". This is a great use of a simile but you could make it even better by using the same idea and editing it slightly. Instead you could have a metaphor such as, "The vomit left my mouth, spilling the questions out of my mind". Or you could change the simile a bit to make it a bit more interesting for the reader. "the questions spilled out of me like an uncontrollable sickness".
Overall, another great piece. I don't have many improvements for this one, great job! Hope this helps!
Points: 1110
Reviews: 11
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