z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Unlucky 13 - Chapter 21

by Lib


Apparently, Maddie had said something really bad about me, and Duncan had heard. Duncan told me the witch said something along the lines of me being an orphan, and how poor and unfortunate I am, unlike her, who was super rich and had both parents who loved her and each other. Duncan had started shouting at Maddie, but Mark had come between them both and stood up for his twin. Mark’s concern was obvious, but Maddie? I sighed.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.” I told him.

“I had to.” he said suddenly. “She was saying horrible things about you. Do you want me to repeat–” he took one look at me and shut up. My jaw had tightened and I could feel my face heating up.

Maryam giggled. So did Imogen. Soon, Samantha joined, getting their looks. I looked at the three of them, laughing now, getting even angrier. Ignoring them, I looked back at Duncan and locked eyes with him. “I don’t need you watching over me, thank you very much.” I said. Getting up, I walked out of the classroom.

Samantha’s laughter quieted. I paused to hear what she would say. “It’s okay. She doesn’t even sense it yet.” she said quietly. I could tell she was telling Duncan this. That annoyed me even more.

“I’ll be waiting.” I snapped and walked right out, shrugging on my backpack as I passed the water fountain. The guy thinks he’s going to be my guardian angel now. Haha, very funny. I got a mom now and what does he do? Follow me around like… I dunno, he’s my dog. But then again, he’s been following me around since grade five. What a surprise. I snorted, shaking my head.

I headed out the school gates, and sat under a willow tree, whipping out my phone to check my notifications. I checked Instagram and scrolled through the main page. A username caught my eye. Invincible. A lump formed in my throat. More news, I suppose.

I hope my fellow followers remember that weirdo girl we’ve been talking about. Ha, dead mother. Crazy father. Afraid of horses and that’s why he doesn’t let her ride. Such a messed up life.

Well, guess what I found out, readers? Some more information! /waggles eyebrows/

Apparently, the freak’s life started getting crappy when she turned eleven. Her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. As soon as she was, though, her father decided that he was going to divorce his wife. What was the point of taking care of a person and wasting thousands of dollars on a person who was going to end up dead?

The freak was a LOSER in that grade. The freak started going to therapy, but it didn’t help at all. She had friends, but she glossed smiles and cheer over that. For a while, her father let her ride horses, but soon, in three years, he freaked out about it.

Talk about over protective.

When he did divorce his wife, he left with Ella to a house farther away from where they used to live. Ella herself was forbidden to go to her mother’s house, but her father had /assured/ her that she could go to her mother’s funeral. After a year, Ella’s mother died from grief. She had stage 1 cancer, man, not too bad, she was fine. She /was/ fine. It was all okay, but then she just DIED.

Anyway, that’s it for today folks! Be updated for next week’s post. ;)

What the heck. What the actual heck.

I looked around frantically for my friends. They were already heading towards me, Duncan going the other way. My heart started beating faster and faster. I had to see Ella. Now. I got up, dropped my backpack and phone, dashed towards the threesome. “Sammy, Imogen, Maryam. Check Invincible’s post on Instagram. It’s horrible.” I croaked out.

Seeing my panicked expression, Maryam cautiously took out her phone and skimmed the post, her face growing paler by the second. She passed her phone over to Samantha and Imogen. She looked at me, horror-struck. “How could someone be so cruel?”

“I don’t know.” I sobbed, noticing that tears were flowing down my eyes. I had met Mrs Rowe. She was the sweetest angel. It didn’t make sense. Why would he leave such an angelic woman? And, to be honest, I never always like Mr Rowe. He creeped me out.

Seeing a crowd still back in the field, probably to obsess over Mark and his injuries, I tapped her on the shoulder. “I’m going to Ella.”

“Who is this?” Samantha said, groaning, giving Maryam back her phone.

“I admit I have no clue who Ella is and her background, but… guys, this is sad.” Imogen commented, frowning.

“That’s why I’m going to talk to Ella.” I wiped away my tears.

“Julia, you’re crazy.” Maryam scolded, grabbing my shoulders. “Look at realism. I’m sorry to break the news to you, but she doesn’t like us anymore. Even though we did. She destroyed our friendship, and you’ll have to let that sink in. It’s been a while now, Julia.” she shook my slightly.

What she said hurt. I swallowed the lump in my throat. But she had a point. I had to be logical. Ella wasn’t going to just magically listen to me just because I asked her to. Logic, Julie. It was time to forget Ella Rowe.

I sighed. “Fine. Where’s Duncan?” I asked. “I want to apologize.”

“He already left.” Samantha smiled. “Let’s go to your place now, get Alfie and do some shopping!” she grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “Okay.” Maryam smiled at me, let go, and followed me to my backpack that I had left near the tree.

+++

In twenty minutes flat, we had reached the pet store, Alfie in my arms. “I hate you guys so much.” I suddenly said, tackling Alfie for the fifth time so he would stay still. “You could have at least got a leash.”

“We got you a puppy! And you’re worrying about a leash!” Imogen laughed, getting the attention of an old woman who sneered at them. Old people and teenagers? Nah, we don’t go along well.

Samantha nudged me. “Look, we made Nanny McPhee upset.” she stifled a laugh, Maryam did too, but Imogen couldn’t. She laughed some more, and the old woman scowled, hobbling away on her cane.

“Ah, here’s a leash.” Maryam rushed over to a blue leash. It was dotted with black polka dots, and Alfie seemed to be liking it considering how he was nudging it. He looked at me with his adorable little eyes, and I grinned.

“We’ll take it.” I said. “Let’s go to the food section.”

Following signs, we ended up in the dog food aisle. I asked an employee for help, and he guided me to the kibble. Telling me that I was free to come to him if I have anymore questions, I should feel free to come to him.

Kind people, employees are. They don’t always get the respect they deserve and that’s very unfortunate.

We got a big, ten pound of kibble, package for Alfie, and he got excited as he sensed all the food. He squirmed in my arms as I struggled to help my friends put the package in the cart. “Quit it, Jules. Just makes sure Alfie doesn’t run away.” Imogen assured me.

But I helped anyways.

+++

Once we had checked out everything, I called Grams so she could pick us up. There was no way we were just going to carry around a ten pound package of kibble and some extra things. We cherished our backs, the four of us.

Grams dropped Samantha off first, then Imogen, and lastly Maryam.

"Thanks for the ride, Mrs Portman!" Maryam chirped.

"Call me Michelle dear, I've told you before as well." Grams smiled.

"Alright, Michelle." she giggled, and jogged into her house. We both knew she would forget to call Grams Michelle and instead just go ahead and call her Mrs Portman. We passed house after house, and soon reached our own. I opened the car's back door and Alfie came bounding out. I let out a low whistle and he came bouncing onto my feet. Laughing, I dropped him off inside the house and brought all his things inside.

"That was so much fun." I finally sighed.

"Was it?" Mum's voice rang through the hall. She came into the living room. "Did you set up all of Alfie's things? His bed, toys, food?" she asked.

"Yes, Mum, I did." I smiled and she sat down on Grams' other side. I sighed, exhausted from today's events and slid down onto my side so that my head was on Gram's lap.

"Tired?" she asked. I hummed in response.

"You're my mother, you know?" Mum said playfully. The way she said that made her sound like a person with a snobbish British accent. I felt her head graze mine as she laid her head on Grams' other lap. "I got a job by the way."

"Congrats, Mum." I said, my heart fluttering. 

"Thank you, darling." 

"My two angels." Grams whispered, stroking our hair.

And, for real this time, I felt as if I was a part of a family. And I knew at that moment, that my life would start getting better. 


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Mon Feb 24, 2020 11:07 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...



Oh no, wait, this is the last chapter before the epilogue, isn't it? ): Feels like the story only just begun.
So, puppy shopping is the best, not sure how they got Alfie to the store though.
Like JabberHut said, Duncans explanation didn't make much sense. To me, at least, it wasn't satisfying enough. I much prefer the idea that Duncan and the other guy were fighting over Julia. :D That's my head cannon, no matter what Duncan says.
Also, as I mentioned in the last chapter, it kinda upsets me that they're all brushing Ella off so easily. I get that there isn't much they can do to help the situation directly, but I'm really starting to think someone should go to a teacher, or adult, or someone who can talk to her/look into her situation at home, because based off the information we managed to learn, it's not good. At the very least, someone should be doing something about the person who is gossiping about her online.
Anyway, I'm very happy for Julia now, she's come a long way since the first chapter.
Let us progress to the final chapter (I think) of Unlucky 13.




Lib says...


I guess the Ella thing really is being taken lightly. I'll take your advice. Draft 2 will be having additional chapters now. xD



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Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:13 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



IT TOOK ME FOREVER I AM SO SORRY

The explanation at the start didn't sound reasonable enough for a fight, and I think it's because it didn't put Maddie in the position of attacking Julia. There's nothing wrong with being an orphan (even if it were actually true), unless there's a certain prejudice against orphans in this world (which would need to come into light before the trip to Canada). We're also not told exactly how Maddie backs up the idea of Julia being unfortunate. So unless Maddie went the extra mile to say that Julia's circumstances "were surely the reason she was so stupid" or "explain why she doesn't have any friends/loses her friends," the story just doesn't get into the extremes that warrant Duncan getting into a fight over.

Also, if Maddie's parents love her and each other so much, why is she such a jerk?? WHERE DOES SHE GET THIS ATTITUDE?? I'm guessing her definition of "love" is simply being spoiled with material things? Or does she manipulate her parents without her parents really understanding that's the case?

omg I love that Julia is just oblivious to Duncan's intentions

JULIA ASK THEM WHY THEY'RE LAUGHING FIRST

I feel like it's Maryam that should defend Julia because I don't know how close Samantha is to Julia, but Maryam seems like the one person in the room who understand how Julia works. And how oblivious she is to these sorts of things.

Julia why are you so maaaad? D: DUNCAN IS BEING HELPFUL. <3

So Duncan has understandably been a nuisance to Julia for a while now, so it's understandable that Julia still doesn't really like him. Now Duncan said he heard about her mother being alive, ends up in a fight against Mark (and, in extension, Maddie) because Maddie presumably is telling everyone Julia is an orphan and putting that idea in a bad light. (Imagine if Duncan was an orphan at one point omg. Or his best friend is an orphan. Or his parents foster children. Or SOME connection to Duncan having sympathy for someone being an orphan. :O )

But I'm GUESSING that what happened is Duncan is trying to stop Maddie from spreading a false rumor since Julia actually has a mother. I think that's what's happening with the fight.

WHAT.

WHAT.

What a cruel post!! And that signature with the winky face and the UGH. HOW CRUEL! Why would the post such a thing??? And how does Ella NOT know about this? Surely she does! D:

This feels like the post Maryam summed up for Julia a couple chapters ago. I don't know why Julia and Maryam are so shocked about the news regarding Ella's parents. Maryam moreso because she told Julia about Ella's parents. It was news from an Instagram post at the time, and this feels very much like the Instragram post Maryam would have read.

I also don't remember Invincible, but how awesome would it be if this whole novel had that mystery involving the "Who is Invincible?" subplot?? Almost like a Gossip Girl concept!

NONONO JULIA'S RIGHT. Ella is NOT going to be okay with this!! If Ella doesn't know/think Maddie is Invincible, then Maddie is manipulating Ella into trusting her. If Ella DOES know/think Maddie is Invincible, then she'll be severely hurt and depressed for being betrayed by a trusted friend AGAIN.

why is a cranky old woman in a pet store upset with seeing Alfie GRINCH GO AWAY

omg it would be SO weird calling someone's grandmother by their first name. I'd definitely be more comfortable with Mrs. [last name]. I WAS BRED POLITE, MAYBE.

omg this ending is so cute and I just <3 <3 <3

HNNNNNNNNNG This still feels unresolved though and I hope the next segment answers the rest of my questionssss ;_; I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT ELLA




Lib says...


You're worry about Ella is getting me worried, oh my gosh. Now that I come to think of it, I think I was going to add a thing about Ella in the Epilogue but maybe I forgot. I'm gunna check.

As always thanks for the review! =D



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Wed Jan 29, 2020 6:40 am
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EternalRain wrote a review...



Liberty! Hello! Omggg, congrats on completing your novel! That's such a big accomplishment. It's been so fun reading this as you've been writing it (and I've still got the epilogue to go - woohoo!).

The Duncan part warmed my heart. Aww. The fact that he stood up for Julia was really sweet (even though I'm sure Julia didn't need it) - he really seems like he's just showing her that he does care - he's one of the good guys!

Whoever wrote that post about Ella makes me so sad :( Who would do such a thing? I'm guessing Maddie but at this point I don't really know. I hope it's addressed in the epilogue. It does seem like the "Invincible" Instagram page was a pretty big part of the plot - in fact, Ella betraying Maryam/Julia was sort of the climax of the novel, and it would be nice to have the Invincible identify resolved before the epilogue, which typically will just catch readers up to date on what's happening now. I REALLY want to know who did it, and most importantly, WHY??? :0 And that evil "Anyway, that’s it for today folks! Be updated for next week’s post. ;)" - oh my gosh, that's just so awful (but so good, storywise. Just an awful thing for a character to do!).

One other tiny nitpicky thing lol - I'm wondering if "Michelle" was a common name for people Grams' age? It seems more of a name for the generation below, like for Julia's mother. I would think a more grandmotherly name would be something like Linda or Gretchen or something that was popular in the 1940s/1950s (likely around when Grams would have been born? Maybe?). It's not a big deal, but Michelle definitely gives me younger vibes than a more dated name like Carol.

The last chunk of this chapter was so, so good. It was sweet and warming and I love how we're "ending" (technically the end of the book I guess!) the book with Julia embracing Grams and her mom and reflecting on the value of family - that moment is just so, so sweet and I think captures the essence and overall theme you have been writing about this entire novel! I also like how the last line "And I knew at that moment, that my life would start getting better" has the feeling of Julia casting aside the hopelessness and unluckiness and sadness she has faced throughout the novel in favor for a feeling of hope. So, I found that really touching!

I'm so excited to read the epilogue!
Peace,
~EternalRain




Lib says...


Thanks for the review!! I thought Michelle was a 1900s name... but I guess not. We'll see. Thanks!



EternalRain says...


Lol maybe it is - I could just be really nitpicking lol xD



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Mon Jan 27, 2020 4:14 pm
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dahlia58 wrote a review...



Is the passage starting with "I hope my fellow followers" meant to be italicized? Other than that, I found no major problems with this chapter. I really felt bad for Ella in this chapter...Whoever is posting her personal info is absolutely horrid.

One last minor thing I noticed is, you may want to replace the period between "fun" and "I finally sighed" with a comma, so that the sentence can flow better.

Unlucky 13 is pretty fun so far^^ (I'm reading the earlier chapters)




Lib says...


Oh, that's awesome! What chapter at you at right now?

Thanks for the review by the way!



dahlia58 says...


Chapter 3



Lib says...


Nice. Tell me how you like it! I'd love to see your reviews. Or if not reviews, comments on some chapters would be good! I'd be so interested in seeing your reactions. ^^''



dahlia58 says...


I'm not a good reviewer, but I'll try my best^^

I'd love to see your review/comments as well



Lib says...


Ope, yes, I've been planning on reading Sleepless. I'll definitely go through it when I can! :)




I think the best thing about making it into the quote generator is when nobody tells you, so one day you're just scrolling and voila, some phenomenally inane thing that crawled out of your dying synapses and immediately regretted being born the second it made contact with the air has been archived for all time. Or worse, a remark of only average inanity. Never tell me when you've put me in the generator. Pride-tinged regret just doesn't taste the same without the spice of surprise.
— SirenCymbaline