You were crazy, just like me
You again I'd like to see
I still don't know what happened that day
Why you got up and ran away
Tears I cry and try to hide
That I was really hurt inside
I hope you're happy wherever you are
I'm sad that you are far :(
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140,690 Literary Works • 673,595 Reviews
Hello, I'm Suzette and I'm going to review you poem today!
Okay so first, don't let any reviews of your writing offend you, they are just suggestions made by fellow writers!
I see this is your first poem here on YWS, welcome to the community, I hope you enjoy it!
So down to business. I like this poem. It's short and sweet, and gets the message across it very well. I like the rhyme scheme and how it makes it flow very nicely. I would suggest adding some punctuation and taking out the emoticon at the end.
Keep Writing
-Suzette
Hello, LiaLia! IronSpark here. I just wanted to give some overall thoughts here. I think that this poem is good, but some of the rhymes are very forced. Why did you decide on rhyming? Also, I would add some punctuation. Punctuation could help with the flow of the piece. Maybe a comma after each line break? Your choice. I also wouldn't use an emoticon at the end. Great poem and keep up the good work!
-IronSpark