Young Writers Society

I liked this. AmiriaRose cute cat!!! lol, i had to say that and lindsay are you from TYWC? I remember a lindsey. I really liked it and it was sweet.

I like the rhyming pattern. I can definatly sence the feeling behind the words, but if you put a little more imagery into this it could be better.

Please don’t let me down again,

Don’t ever break my heart,

Now that you’re locked up in there,

My world has fallen apart.

You were what made me happy,

What put the smile on my face,

No one else could ever,

Attempt to take your place

Please don’t do this to yourself,

Let this time be the last,

Think only of your future,

Forget about the past.

You are smarter then you know,

More then what you see,

And if you need one reason,

To stay up, let it be me.

--

Written for the same person whom I now am very angry with but I figured I'd post that anyways.. <3

Packed to the brim with cliches! Try to be more original.

I liked it. I think the rhymes add a lot.

Hmmm...theres no denying there was a tonne of feeling behind it, but the way it was written kinda made me think of Dr. Suess. That doesnt necessarily mean its bad, its just written in a way that doesnt quite fit the feeling behind it.