Published August 19, 2005
& this shit’s so confusing.
I feel like I’m losing,
Touch with the only,
Person, I’m so lonely,
Without.
Full of doubt,
& a life put on pause,
Due to a lost cause,
That’s eating my heart,
Away.
Further every day,
I’m a loose grip,
A Sunken ship,
Out of my mind,
Pushing rewind,
- But I’m stuck here.
Full of fear,
That you’ve forgot.
There’s this knot,
In my heart,
That I can’t get apart,
No matter what,
I do, I’m in this rut,
I hope.
It’s how I cope,
With this pain,
That I can’t explain,
Even though I try,
Not to wonder WHY.
I can’t help but to,
Miss you.
There isn’t a word,
Spoken or heard,
& I refuse,
To use,
Love -- is forever,
I see you never,
Meant to hurt me,
But I plea,
With you to close,
Your eyes & compose,
A picture of perfect,
It’s us and it’s worth it,
I’m so sick of losing,
You. You’re so confusing.
This was a different way for me to appraoch things.. but it sums up my exact feelings, so I guess it works. (Lol).
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,430 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
Yeah, nothing special, but I did like the rhythm of it. You just have to read it right. Almost all the rhyming seemed to fit just fine.
I like it. It has a really nice rythm and rhyme pattern. i think the last line, "you. Youre so confusing" should just be "you. youre confusing."
Some commas that were put in made the read a bit difficult [because I would stop, but it was really meant to be read on]. A little choppy, but not horrible. I admit, when I first started reading this, I thought I would hate it because of the rhyme and flow, but by the end, I thought it was all right. It didn't really seem especially special, but the way it fit within the borders that you had, it was not bad.