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Chronicles of Valarian 0: The Fifth of the Four Ancient Foxes

by Lezuli


In the beginning, there was nothing. Empty Void vast and lifeless without purpose or point. Then, the universe exploded into being, creating elements and magic where there was only emptiness prior. Many millennia past where the magic and elements remained separate, the elements became planets and astral bodies while the magic filled in the gaps where there had once been Void.

Eventually the magic and the elements became one. Light, dark, chaos, and order twined with natural elements and earth to create four worlds. These Great Worlds were the first and strongest of their kind.

From these four Great Worlds, life emerged. First to sire life was the world of order and logic, later known as the Middleworld. From this world, creatures as powerful as they were wise strode confidently forward from nothing. In the lower world created of darkness, demons emerged from shadows darker than the purest ink. Above them, the world of endless light was witness to beings soaring in infinity blue skies on broad, majestic wings. Cunning spirits and fae bred of chaos played unfettered in the ever-shifting lands of the final world.

From these spirits and fae four beings were created. Red, grey, brown, and black, they took their first steps together in the forests of their home. As the eons passed and the worlds grew and changed, these creatures remained, growing ever wiser and stronger as their tails split apart.

Eventually, these beings, having never been named, came to be known as the Four Ancient Foxes by the other citizens of the Great Worlds.

As the creatures around them evolved and created new life, the first fox, with a pelt as red as the sunset, grew dissatisfied with his life. He thought that while he and his kin were strong and smart, they were only few and could be killed the same as any other mortal being. Soon, the other foxes found themselves agreeing with the first. They did not want their species to die with them should they ever be killed.

The second fox, whose pelt was as grey as funeral ash, was the first to have the idea. ‘We shall create a fox in our image,’ she said to the other foxes. ‘A fifth fox who shall be more powerful than any of us.’

‘But how?’ asked the wood-brown third fox. ‘While our illusions and fire are powerful, we have never created life.’

‘Do you have a way for us to continue?’ said the final fox to the second, her black pelt as dark as the shadows beneath their feet.

‘Yes,’ said the grey fox to her kin. ‘We can combine the powers of trickery and fire to create another of our kind. It shall be our successor shall we ever fall.’

‘Another fox to carry on our legacy is all we need,’ the red fox told the group. ‘We shall not let our kind die should we ever be stricken from this plane. Having all our powers together shall make him even stronger than us. For while we are hard to kill, he shall be almost impossible.’

And so the foxes were united in their goal to preserve their power and legacy. Together, they combined their potent magic and created a new life.

This new fox possessed only a single tail, not yet split by the centuries, the abilities of each of the foxes, and a pelt as pure white as the newly fallen snow.

The fifth of the Four Ancient Foxes. 


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84 Reviews


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Mon Sep 07, 2020 1:55 am
Icon wrote a review...



Hello Lezuli! I finally got around to reading the rest of your story, and I have a few points that I hadn't seen in the other commenters reviews, so I figured I'd drop one here for you.

First and foremost, this was a great prologue/backstory for Val! But I feel like it could've been longer. If there had been more leading up to Valarian's creation, it would've packed a lot more punch. Maybe each Ancient Fox had to gather items specific to their magic/personality, or they all had to look deep within themselves in order to combine their power and form it into another being. Because the pacing moves so quickly, it feels a bit less like an epic culmination of every fox (albeit still pretty epic) and more like
"Hey should we make another fox?"
"Yeah sure. But how?"
"We smash our magic and fire together."
"Oh, ok."

And then Valarian was made. It just could've had a little more oomph, y'know?

As I previously stated, this was a really great backstory for Val, and it makes a lot of sense, too. Can't wait to continue reading, and I hope this was a helpful or informative review!

- Connie




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Fri Sep 04, 2020 7:16 pm
RadDog13579 wrote a review...



Hi Lezuli, I know I'm incredibly late to review this but I was looking for stuff to review for RevMo and I came across your story. And what better a place to start than the beginning. So here it goes. Firstly, I love this prologue, it was very hooking although the first sentence could have been a little more captivating. Maybe start with the explosion. Second, I love the creative idea with foxes and all of that but maybe add a little more personality into each fox based on their origins. For example, the black fox could be dark, and maybe a little bit edgy. That's all I really have. The last sentence was pretty great though. I can't wait to read the rest of the story. Happy writing!

-RadDog




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Fri Sep 04, 2020 2:43 pm
MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Hey! Andrew here to review your prologue, I might even keep reviewing all the way up to current with you chapters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, we will see what happens.
But to reviewing! I liked this, starting with a big explanation of the creation seems a bit exposition-y but the fact that this felt a like myth and not actual history made it better. If I were you I would spread this out throughout the story, have characters say parts of it, have the narrator say others, but if you don't want to I don't think its that big of a deal. On that subject, you do a good job at making this feel like a story a mother would tell a child as they fall asleep at night. I am a bit confused at what you mean by the foxes kin. What are they like literally foxes? The other fae? All life in general?

That ending was pretty great.
Excited to read the rest
Sorry, this was a bit short, but the others covered most of everything, and the chapter was short (:
Thanks and keep writing!
-Andrew




Lezuli says...


Hello, and thank you for your review! As for the whole 'kin' thing, the foxes are real foxes with magical powers. So when I say that, I mean all four Ancient Foxes. I hope that clears it up for you!



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Wed Aug 05, 2020 5:26 pm
WaterSpout wrote a review...



Hello Lezuli, thought I'd go ahead and read your story. The world and universe building is very interesting, with four Great Worlds and their different species. I am excited to read the first chapter with all of this introduction. So, without further ado, I'll say my thoughts first.

In the beginning, there was nothing.

Very easy hook to start with. But it kind of reminds me of something...
‘We shall create a fox in our image,’

Oh yeah, the Bible! I just wanted to ask, did you take inspiration from it, or is this all a coincidence?
From these four Great Worlds, life emerged. First to sire life was the world of order and logic, later known as the Middleworld. From this world, creatures as powerful as they were wise strode confidently forward from nothing. In the lower world created of darkness, demons emerged from shadows darker than the purest ink. Above them, the world of endless light was witness to beings soaring in infinity blue skies on broad, majestic wings. Cunning spirits and fae bred(what did you mean here?) of chaos played unfettered in the ever-shifting lands of the final world.

Mm... the world building is at its peak.
As the creatures around them evolved and created new life, the first fox, with a pelt as red as the sunset, grew dissatisfied with his life.

I like the simile here used to describe the fox's red skin. Similes are easy to use for describing objects and beings, instead of making it complicated.
And now, for the grammar.
Empty Void(,) vast and lifeless(,) without purpose or point.

Eventually(,) the magic and the elements became one.

These are just common comma mistakes everyone is bound to make, so I didn't put that much importance on it. The good thing is that I didn't find anything else wrong, so good job!
And I think that is all. Your story sounds interesting, the word building is great, and the foxes sound cool.
I hope you can write more of this!
With caution,

WaterSpout




Lezuli says...


Thank you so much for your review! I'm so happy you like it! About the Bible thing, I didn't actually take any inspiration from it, so its a coincidence that it ended up like that.



WaterSpout says...


Oh, ok :) and no problem!



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Wed Aug 05, 2020 5:16 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! The Darkness here to leave a review!!

First Impression: Pretty interesting concept. Got to say I've never seen foxes used like this in a story so pretty unique (at least to me). As a prologue a creation story like his works pretty well and it does a good job of balancing explanations without going into the territory of an info dump so that's again always a good thing. The flow of it was also pretty nice and the pacing was decent.

Anyway let's get right to it,

In the beginning, there was nothing. Empty Void vast and lifeless without purpose or point. Then, the universe exploded into being, creating elements and magic where there was only emptiness prior. Many millennia past where the magic and elements remained separate, the elements became planets and astral bodies while the magic filled in the gaps where there had once been Void.


Not the worst opening paragraph and considering this is a prologue its totally fine but it is slightly cliche to start with there was nothing and then something happened. I realize that there is literally no other way to start this put I point that out regardless.

From these four Great Worlds, life emerged. First to sire life was the world of order and logic, later known as the Middleworld. From this world, creatures as powerful as they were wise strode confidently forward from nothing. In the lower world created of darkness, demons emerged from shadows darker than the purest ink. Above them, the world of endless light was witness to beings soaring in infinity blue skies on broad, majestic wings. Cunning spirits and fae bred of chaos played unfettered in the ever-shifting lands of the final world.


The fact that order and logic was the first to sire life totally cracked me up more than it should have.

Eventually, these beings, having never been named, came to be known as the Four Ancient Foxes by the other citizens of the Great Worlds.


So they just refer to them as Fox 1, Fox 2 or did they actually not bother to come up with four names?

The second fox, whose pelt was as grey as funeral ash, was the first to have the idea. ‘We shall create a fox in our image,’ she said to the other foxes. ‘A fifth fox who shall be more powerful than any of us.’


Sounds more like a recipe for disaster but I shall not judge.

And so the foxes were united in their goal to preserve their power and legacy. Together, they combined their potent magic and created a new life.

This new fox possessed only a single tail, not yet split by the centuries, the abilities of each of the foxes, and a pelt as pure white as the newly fallen snow.

The fifth of the Four Ancient Foxes.


Love the ending here. It has a lot of weight to it and it sets up the stage for the story to follow quite beautifully.

Overall: Really good prologue overall. It was written quite well. I didn't see any issues with grammar or spelling which is always great and it definitely does a good job of hooking readers. I would certainly read more of this whenever it does come out.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




Lezuli says...


Thank you for your comment! I'm really glad you liked it. When I created it, the foxes don't refer to each other as anything. They're so in sync they don't really have to. The Four Ancient Foxes thing was given to them by the other creatures.




Defeat has its lessons as well as victory.
— Pat Buchanan