Cover art for Of Ruin and Rebirth - Chapter 1: Liraeth

Of Ruin and Rebirth - Chapter 1: Liraeth

by Leya, WeepingWisteria

Published September 17, 2024

18+ Language Violence

In Of Ruin and Rebirth

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and violence.

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I arrived at the suite, pushing the heavy door open with a soft creak. The air inside was cool, the stone walls giving off a chill that somehow managed to seep into my bones, despite the fact that the sun was still high in the sky. I paused at the threshold, allowing my eyes to adjust to the dim light that filtered through the narrow window.

This was it. The first step of the tournament had officially begun.

I inhaled deeply, taking in the earthy scent of the room. My fingers brushed over the vines of ivy that decorated my armor, as if they needed reassurance. My suite was simple, almost underwhelming for something housed within the Halls of Balance. But then, the Gods were never ones to waste luxuries on their chosen. The stone floors were bare, save for a small, woven rug near the door. A single candle flickered from its place on the wooden desks, casting it's light across the walls.

Two beds.

I blinked, frowning slightly as I stepped further into the room, my footsteps muffled by the silence. That couldn't be right. Each champion was supposed to have been given their own space in the tournament. It would've been best that way-- one room, one champion, one destiny shaped by divine hands.

My gaze flicked back to the second bed. It was identical to mine. Plain, with simple white sheets and a worn wooden frame. Nothing about it seemed out of place, yet something gnawed at me. Why two? I ran my hand over the smooth wood of the nearest bedpost, grounding myself as I tried to make sense of it.

The tournament itself was a new tradition... but the gods had become fractured. They needed something, anything, to prove their power. Since The Fracture, the event that tore them all apart, they threw us offspring into the chaos of their petty squabbles. I didn't mind stepping up for my mother, all she had to do was ask.

I shivered slightly, not entirely from the chill of the stone walls but from the weight of the tournament. The Gods had always preferred to manipulate from a distance, their interventions subtle and indirect. This tournament, however, was a far more personal affair. It was their way of reminding mortals of their power, of demonstrating their reach even in the wake of The Fracture.

I took a deep breath. Just then, a gentle pulse of telepathic energy touched my mind, and I recognized it as my mother's presence.

Liraeth, are you settling in? Her voice was calm and soothing.

"Mother," I said aloud, my voice carrying a hint of confusion, "I'm here. But there's something strange. I've been given a suite with two beds. I thought each Champion was to have their own space."

Ah, yes, my mother cooed, The second bed is there for a reason. Mors has chosen a mortal to represent him in the tournament. This mortal will be sharing a suite with you.

I blinked, taken aback. The God of Death has chosen... a mortal? How strange.

"Mors? Why him? and Why mortal?" I asked.

Mors believes this mortal has a role to play in the tournament. And, as you know, he has no offspring. I know, I know. As the daughter of Life, you'd expect better. But, her presence is integral to the balance he seeks to maintain, even in the fractured state of the divine realms. As for why a mortal-- Mors sees potential in this one that could be crucial to the outcome of the tournament.

I glanced back at the second bed, my mind racing with questions, "So... what exactly am I supposed to do?"

I almost felt my mother smile, wherever she was, You are to protect this mortal. Ensure her safety, and guide them through the trials. She will face challenges that may be beyond their understanding, and your role is to support and safeguard her as she navigate things.

I nodded to myself, even though my mother couldn't see me, "I'll do my best. But is there anything specific I should know about this mortal?"

The Mortal's name is Morana. She started, She comes from a distant land and has a strong personality, for a mortal. Her strength and resilience caught Mors' attention. While she might not immediately display the potential, she has qualities that are vital to the balance. Approach her with patience and understanding, My Flower.

I glanced at the door, sensing the mortal from a mile away. "Okay, Mother. Will do."

Good, my Mother said, Remember, the tournament will test not only your abilities but also your ability to forge alliances and overcome obstacles. You are not alone in this, and your role is crucial.

As the connection faded, I was startled by the door bursting open with a loud whoosh. I turned towards the sound, my heart quickening. And there she stood, the mortal. She was dripping with water, her braid slung over her shoulder and frizzy. Her hat was full of small holes where the straw had gotten loose and she was wearing overalls like a common servant. She froze, starting at me. "Um. Am I in the wrong room?" She turned back to look at the label on the door. "Nope. Are we roommates or are you lost?"

I couldn't help but smile. Mortals and their comedic nature. "Morana, is it?"

"It is." Morana took off her hat, wiping off some of the water on her face. "And you are?"

I sat lightly on my bed, crossing my hands over each other. I studied her. I'd never heard that accent before. I cleared my throat, "Liraeth. The Bringer of Rebirth. Nice to be of your acquaintance. We are indeed... roommates, as you called it."

Morana nodded, setting her bag down at the foot of bed. "Yeah. Pleased to meet you."

What was that smell?

I flared my nose slightly and pursed my lips, "Strange accent. Is it ancient Welsh?"

Morana blinked. "What?"

"I heard mortals... never mind," I turned a bright shade of red. This was my first interaction with a mortal. They were... strange beings. They smelled of... dirt, and coffee beans, "This is my first time meeting a mortal. It's... strange."

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I... suppose it would be." She cleared her throat, wiping strands of hair that were clinging to her face. "I'm from Georgia. It's in the United States."

"Un-eye-ted St-ay-tes," I sounded out each syllable, bound to get it right, "Never heard of it. I am from the Sacred Grove."

"Never heard of it." Morana sat on the bed, seeming to not care about soaking it. "So I reckon we're even."

I chuckled softly, shaking my head at the exchange, "It seems we are," I agreed, feeling a bit more at ease. "I must admit, I'm fascinated by your world. The Sacred Grove is a place of natural wonder and serenity, vastly different from the realms you're accustomed to."

"I've had my share of natural wonder." Morana smiled softly. "You take a horse just a half an hour's ride north and you see miles of flowers. The bees buzz their little tunes and the butterflies dance along and it's like the Earth took a deep breath for a moment."

I nodded, picturing the scene she described. "It sounds beautiful. The Sacred Grove has its own kind of magic-- ancient trees that whisper secrets and flowers that bloom even in the moonlight. But I can see how your world has its own charm. All worlds do."

"Yeah. They all do." She suddenly stood up. "Is there a washroom 'round here?"

"In the hallway, I believe." I gestured towards the door, but suddenly remembered my Mother's words. "I... I should go with you. People can't be trusted around here. Especially... I don't mean to call out your... species, but other Champions might not take a liking to seeing a mortal in a washroom."

Morana frowned. "What are they going to do about it?"

"Kill you," I said bluntly, and shrugged, "Nothing is off limits. And you'd be one less person they'd have to worry about."

She looked away from me, suddenly finding the wet patch on her bedsheets very interesting. "You deities are savages, huh? No gentlemen's rules."

"Savages. That's an interesting choice of words. Some of us are. I try not to engage in violence. But, I can protect you. We should stick together," I offered, smiling lightly.

"How do I know you're not just saying that to get me to lower my guard...?" Morana narrowed her eyes at me.

"I'm the Daughter of Life. Vita, to be specific. Our values are unlike the others. We believe in peace, serenity, and friendships. I... I've never had a friend. Maybe now is a good time to start making alliances. They are scared of me, out there. My mother is very powerful. I can protect you," I urged, studying her.

She stared at me for a while, something hard and cold behind her oak tree eyes, before she sighed. "Fine. I don't need protecting, but if it'll make you feel better you can come along." She stood up, her heavy and crude boots thumping loudly on the ground.

"You do, and that's okay," I smiled playfully, "I can teach you how to use the gifts Mors gave you."

"Mors already said he'll teach me. I don't see how a daughter of life will know more than him."

"Uh-uh," I corrected, dusting my hands together, "My title is the Bringer of Rebirth. Rebirth includes death. I don't like it, but I am educated on it. You may not ask for my help now, but you will. Eventually. And I'll be here to lend a hand when you do."

"Sure, dear." Morana grabbed her bag and gestured to the door. "Washroom?"

"Washroom," I stood, and followed her towards the door. I watched her movements. Studied them. Maybe if I mastered her, I could protect her. But right now, Morana was unpredictable, just like my Mother told me months ago. Mortals were always unpredictable creatures. She walked like she had no idea she was a mouse in a lion's den. Her boots were loud and her face was even louder, with wide eyes and a coy smile. She acted like a god, but smelled like spun glass.

The hallways were made of pure marble, and as we walked our shoes clanked against the stone floor. The washrooms weren't far, but I had my eyes out. And just as I imagined, Genesis was pacing infront of the washroom entrance. I rolled my eyes and glanced at Morana, "Genesis. Daughter of Time. Tread lightly."

Morana shrugged. "Alright."

We approached, and just as I was about to speak, Genesis opened her crimson stained lips, "Oh, what do we have here? It smells like... cow shit," she laughed, twirling a strand of red hair inbetween her perfectly manicured fingers.

The bathroom door opened and Centauri stepped through, with his perfect tailored three piece suit and black hair. His purple eyes glistened in the bright light. "Yes. And it seems like Liraeth's company has dwindled from nothing to pathetic." He placed a hand over his chest, frowning in mock sympathy.

"I see you haven't changed a bit, Centauri," I sighed. Centauri was the Son of Space, and he'd been dating Genesis for years now. I heard rumors that it was an arranged relationship, but nobody ever confirmed those theories. I was starting to think they just... enjoyed being incompetent together.

Centauri just hummed in acknowledgment. "What is... that  you have with you?"

Morana stood taller, looking Centauri right in the eye. "I'm Morana, Death's one and only champion."

They both burst out into uncontrollable laugher, their chuckles echoing through the massive hallways. I cringed. This was not a good start. I needed to get Morana out of there before--

"Oh, is that so?" Genesis stepped forward, studying Morana. She sniffed once, and then made a face of disgust, "I didn't know Mors favored pond scum. You're brave for coming here, you know. I could kill you right now, and you wouldn't even have a chance to blink."

The terrifying thing was, she was right. As the daughter of Time, Genesis could enter a time loop and end Morana's life before she had a chance to act. I stepped forward, "Leave her be, Genesis."

Morana peeked around my shoulder, which was easy granted she was somehow taller than me. "Couldn't you do that to anyone? I think that's less of me being a mortal thing and you having time powers."

"True, Morana, But it's much more fun doing it to someone who hasn't learned my ways. Don't you think, Centauri?" She grinned.

"Oh, absolutely. But you can't start with the grand finale." He chuckled.

I sighed and stepped forward again, "Listen. The tournament hasn't even started. If you hurt her, my mother will get angry."

"Oh, poor mommy dearest, always hiding behind her coward of a mother," Genesis grabbed a piece of her hair again, and started twirling. She always did that when she was plotting something menacing in that screwed up brain of hers, "We wouldn't want to make her upset, would we? Then again... the mortal is standing right there, and one less opponent is one step closer to a win."

Morana shrugged. "If you want to be a sad little coward, sure, sugar. Take me out before the tournament starts because you're scared I'll beat you once we're there. Now, I won't pretend like I know anything about being a lady, but I know when someone is scared."

"Let me give you your first lesson in surviving this place, sugar," Genesis growled, leaning down to meet Morana's height, "Deities don't get scared. Especially of little scum rats like you. You wanna die today? Fine with me. But you don't know fear. Not until you've stepped into that arena."

Morana leaned even closer. "Your dress is rotting."

"My--" She looked down, and as she did, time seemed to stop. I tried to move my body, but nothing budged. I watched as reality itself changed and moved. I felt like I was suffocating, and as much as I tried to summon my gifts, I couldn't.

Just as I was running out of breath, time resumed, and we were walking back down the hallway, as if we'd just gotten there. Fuck.

I braced myself, whispering to Morana, "What in the Gods have you done?"

Morana stumbled back, a wild grin on her face. "She's more pissy than a rattlesnake in a hawk's nest." She turned to me. "She said I had no power, so I proved her wrong."

There was no time to respond before Genesis met our walk, her dress perfectly intact. She had a crazy, horrifying grin plastered on her sick face, "You've outdone yourself. Nice party trick, but are you ready for the big dogs? Huh?"

She circled us, Centauri standing back with his arms crossed.

"Genesis, please," I begged. I don't beg, but I had to. I couldn't let them hurt Morana, and if we were involved in something like this before the tournament even started, my mother would lose it, "Just spare her. Don't make me step in."

Morana cleared her throat. "You think you're so much stronger than me, huh?"

Genesis raised an eyebrow, stopping in her tracks. She pursed her lips, "Yes. Gods are much stronger than mortals. That is pretty self-explanatory, I thought."

I groaned. If Morana wanted trouble, maybe I should just give it to her. Let her experience this so she'd know never to do it again. But, I made a promise to my mother. And I don't break my promises. I sighed, "Can we all just... leave eachother alone? Please?"

"Prove it then." Morana shrugged. "No weapons, no powers. Fist to fist. If you're so much stronger, you'll win easily, right?"

Centauri laughed, fixing the sleeves of his suit jacket. "You want to die, huh?"

"Nobody is dying," I said, stepping infront of Morana, "And you will not touch her."

"Oh, come on," Genesis smiled, cracking her knuckles, "Let the girl fight. Maybe then she'll actually learn something."

I looked over at Morana, "You sure you want to do this?"

"You wouldn't get it." She looked to me. "I have to do this."

I swallowed hard, searching her face for any sign of hesitation, but Morana's gaze was steady. She was determined-- stubborn, even. I could see it in her eyes. She wasn't going to back down, no matter how dangerous Genesis was. No matter how stupid this whole thing was.

"Alright," I said softly, stepping back, "You better be sure."

Genesis smirked, clearly relishing the moment, "Oh, this is going to be fun. You've got guts, Mortal, I'll give you that. But guts don't win fights."

Morana didn't flinch. She dropped her bag stepped forward, squaring off with Genesis, fists already raised. I felt my heart racing, panic bubbling up inside of me. Morana wasn't weak, but going up against Genesis-- goddess or not-- was like walking into a storm unarmed. A storm that could end her in a blink.

Centauri chuckled from his spot against the wall, arms crossed as if he were watching a casual sparring match, not the impending obliteration of a Mortal, "This is going to be entertaining."

Morana snorted. "Yeah, it will be." She pushed her braid off her shoulder, letting it land against her back with a wet smack. "You ready?"

Genesis dropped into a fighting stance, her expression darkening as she focused, "Last chance to back out," she warned, though her grin suggested she was hoping Morana would stay.

"Same to you." She shrugged. "But I think we both know the answer."

Genesis didn't wait any longer. She lunged forward, swinging her fist with lightning speed. I barely had time to react before Morana stepped to the side, sweeping her legs when she stumbled from the sudden lack of person. Genesis hit the ground with a heavy thud, the surprise clear on her face. For a moment, the hallway was silent, save for the sound of her labored breathing. I could hardly believe what I was seeing-- Morana had not only dodged her, but had sent Genesis, the Daughter of Time, crashing to the floor like she was... nothing.

"You've got to be kidding me," Genesis spat, pushing herself up with a quick, angry motion. Her eyes burned with fury now, any hint of playful arrogance wiped clean from her expression, "You really think you can beat me?"

"Strong words from the girl who just picked herself up from the ground." Morana was already pack in position, bouncing on her toes. "You're not the first wild thing I've faced."

A low, dangerous laugh bubbled up from Genesis's throat as she dusted herself off, "Cute. You've got reflexes, I'll give you that. But let's see how long they last."

Before I could even blink, Genesis was on the move again. This time, she wasn't holding back. She moved like a blur, faster than my eyes could follow, her fists a flurry of strikes aimed at Morana's ribs and stomach.

Morana bent her knees, blocking the flurry with her forearms.

For a few breathless moments, it looked like Morana might actually hold her own. But Genesis's speed was relentless, and it wasn't long before Morana took a hit. Genesis's fist connected with her jaw, sending Morana stumbling back, and then another punch landed square in her stomach.

"Morana!" I took a step forward, "Are you okay?"

Morana waved me away, shaking her head. "I'm fine. Woo!" She looked up, her eyes wide and borderline manic. "You pack more punch than I pegged you for. But that's fine. I can take it." This time, Morana was on the offense. She went low, lunging at Genesis' stomach and throwing them both to the ground. Genesis' head cracked against the marble floor.

For a split second, I thought the fight was over. Morana had the upper hand-- her body was pressed firmly against Genesis, pinning her down. But then I saw it; the subtle crack of energy flickering around Genesis' fingers.

"No," I whispered, "Morana, get off her!"

But Morana didn't hear me-- or maybe she thought she had it under control. Genesis' hands gripped Morana's wrists, and before she could react, a surge of power erupted from Genesis' palms. The shockwave threw Morana off of her like a rag doll. She flew across the hallway, her body slamming into the stone with a thud. Her body trembled with aftershocks, her jaw clenched shut.

"You think you can humiliate me?" Genesis spat, her voice echoing unnaturally as the air seemed to hum with divine energy, "I'll show you what it means to challenge a goddess."

Morana slowly stood up despite her unsteady legs. She held on to the wall for support. "It means to challenge a goddamned coward who only knows how to rely on their Mama's powers when they don't get what they want."

Genesis's eyes raged, turning a bright shade of electric blue. She raised her hand, and my heart pounded with anxiety when I realized what she was about to do.

A flash of silver, and finally I was between them, my arm outstretched, catching Genesis' hand in mid-air. For a second, Genesis's power flared, the air vibrating with energy, but then it was gone, snuffed out as quickly as it approached.

"Enough!" I snapped. My heart raced, but I kept my voice steady, "You're not laying another finger on her."

Genesis paused, her glowing hand just inches from me, the power radiating off her body. Her lip curled into a sneer, "Move aside before you get hurt too."

"I won't," I said, squaring my shoulders, "If you want her, you'll have to go through me. I didn't want it to come to this, Genesis."

A cruel smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, "Oh, I was hoping you'd say that."

Before I could react, Genesis was on me. She was faster than I remembered, her movements sharper, fueled by rage. But I was ready this time. I ducked under her swing, planting my foot in her ribs with a hard kick that sent her stumbling back.

"You've been getting soft, Genesis," I taunted, shaking off the nerves, "Too much talking, not enough training."

Genesis's eyes blazed with fury, and she rushed at me again, this time with an arc of raw energy crackling from her fingers. She ended up disappearing and then reappearing behind me, an arm ready to swing. I dodged to the side, barely avoiding the attack.

"Still fast, I see," Genesis growled, stalking back towards me, "But you can't outrun me forever, Liraeth."

I didn't plan to. She came at me again, and this time, I met her head on. Our fists collided, the force sending shockwaves through the hall. Genesis was strong-- too strong for me to hold back now. I focused, summoning my own power, letting it flow through my veins like molten silver.

Her next punch came for my head, but I ducked low, spinning around just as vines bursted through the hallway windows. They wrapped around her legs and suspended her in the air.

"You always did love showing off," Genesis cackled, grabbing at the vines. Even if she rewinded time, I knew what to expect. So I summoned the last vine to wrap around her neck. She was incapable of using her powers if she couldn't breathe.

"Are you done, Genesis?" I asked, studying her, "I'm done."

Genesis just looked at me, her face full of awe and dismay. She nodded slowly, and I dropped the vines before rushing over to Morana. She was still recovering from the attack,

Morana was standing mostly on her own now, wiping her forehead. "That was good. Really good."

"Yes, yes," I nodded. I felt Genesis and Centauri leave the area without a word.

I continued, "You just made some enemies before the tournament even started. Do you realize that?" I asked, scanning her body in attempt to scope out any injuries.

"They were my enemies before I even knew their names." Morana massaged her wrists. "Nothing I would do besides kissing their feet was gonna change that."

I sighed, running a hand through my golden hair. I checked her one last time, "But are you okay? I can heal, you know. Are you hurting? You look... great, actually. For someone who just fought a goddess."

"When I was twelve, I got kicked in the chest by a horse. Now that hurt." Morana winced, rubbing her chest. "I'm a little sore, but that should go away in the morning."

I nodded, "Do you still need to use the washroom?" I joked, flashing a playful smile.

Morana looked down at her soaked clothes. "Yeah, I reckon." She walked back to her bag, her legs still about as stable as half-frozen jelly.

"I'll wait out here," I moved towards the door to the washroom, "Call if you need me."

"I'll be fine. Unless your washtub spits fire." Morana walked into the washroom, which gave me time to reflect.

As the door closed behind her, I leaned against the wall, letting out a slow breath. The adrenaline that had kept me steady through the fight was fading leaving my muscles tense and my mind spinning. This was bad. Morana had made powerful enemies, and we hadn't even entered the tournament yet. I had no idea how Genesis and Centauri would retaliate-- or when, but I knew it wouldn't be good. Gods didn't forget humiliation.

I glanced down at my hands, still faintly buzzing with the remnants of the power I'd drawn on during the fight. I hadn't meant to go that far. I'd stepped in to protect Morana, yes, but the moment Genesis had pushed me, something inside me snapped. I had no choice but to match her.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. This wasn't how I imagined the tournament starting. We were supposed to stay low key and avoid trouble. But now, thanks to Morana's stubbornness-- and Genesis's arrogance-- we were already marked.

The door opened again. "Hey, Liraeth? Where is your well?" Morana frowned.

"Well?" I asked, turning to her, "Use the sink."

Morana looked back into the bathroom. "But there's no pitcher. Where is the water?"

"It's running water. Just turn the knobs. You don't have that in the Un-ieted-staytes?" I crinkled my brows.

"You keep water inside the sink?" She tilted her head. "But where does it come from? Does the sink dig it out of the ground?"

"There's pipes everywhere, and the water is a purified water source, not far from the Halls..." responded. The Mortal world was definitely different.

Morana nodded slowly. "So, you turn the knobs like a screw and the water just... comes out?"

"Precisely," I nodded, and smiled, "Try it out."

"Alright." She went back in and closed the door.

I waited a moment, before the thoughts overtook me again. When she came out of that washroom, I'd have to have a serious talk with her. We couldn't keep fighting every battle that came our way-- especially not gods. We had to be smarter than that.

I heard the water running inside, and for a moment, I let the sound calm my racing thoughts.

How did I get here? In the middle of a dangerous tournament, caught between gods and mortals, trying to protect someone who seemed hell-bent on self-destruction. I couldn't help but chuckled at the absurdity of it all. Maybe my mother was right-- I should've stayed far from the tournament.

But no, I'd made the choice to represent her, and everything we stood for. And I intended to keep the promise I made to my people.

The door creaked open, and Morana stepped out. Her hair had been re-braided, so no more stray hairs tormented her face. She was actually dry now, in a blue gingham shirt and loose dark brown pants. "Sorry if I took a minute."

"You look... nice," I lied, but atleast I was trying to be nice. The Mortals dressed... very strange. Not a bad thing, but I just didn't understand it.

"Thanks! My mama made the shirt for me. Complained the whole time, but she did it." She smiled and smoothed the front. "We can head back now."

"Mama? Is that another word for mother?" I asked, as we started to walk back towards our suite, "I cannot call my birthgiver anything but 'mother.' That's the standard around here."

Morana blinked. "Yikes. But yeah, Mama is a name for Ma. It makes her act a little sweeter."

"Interesting." We got to the door of our suite, a long red wooden plank that creaked with every movement. I pushed it open, "After you."

"Thank you, ma'am." Morana stepped in, setting her bag back in its original place.

I sighed and walked towards my bed, sitting down just as graceful as Mother taught me, "There's a commencement ball tonight. Do you have clothes?"

Her head snapped to look at me. "A ball? Like... those fiction English dances?"

"Yes?" I asked, slightly confused, "But they are not fiction. You need a dress."

"I'd rather try to ride a honey badger." She grimaced, flopping on to her bed with all the grace of a headless fish. "I think I'll pass. Besides, Mors didn't tell me about any ball."

"It's not optional," I stood, walking towards my bag, "I have a few you can wear. Do you like oak leaves? It'd go great with your eyes."

"You wear... leaves as a dress?"

I looked at her, smiling, "Yes. It's comfortable. And great for youthful skin."

Morana sighed. "Sure. I guess if I have no choice."

Comments & reviews · 2
creeperfeverdreams wrote a review Review · Nov 10, 2024

Hello there, Elektra and WeepingWisteria! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the malicious S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Liraeth decides to attend the tournament, but then she realizes that she’s competing alongside a mortal named Morana, who she will have to protect. Except, Morana doesn’t seem to think that she needs protection, as she fights headfirst with Genesis and Centauri. Oh goodness, the tournament hasn’t even started and a fight already happened!

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you may have meant to put a space in between the words “at least”, but that’s just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - I love Liraeth and Morana’s contrasting personalities! As the daughter of Life and someone who knows the world of Gods well, Liraeth would obviously want to save her energy for the tournament and not get into any unwise fights. But then, Morana, a mortal, who from what I’m guessing, had to face many hardships in life and work through them, would want to challenge the Gods and Goddesses to prove her worth, as she knows that luxury and happiness won’t be handed to her. Also, she may just want to stick it to them for thinking they’re “all that”. Morana is actually my favorite character so far, but I do fear a bit for her still.

Closing Graham Cracker - Liraeth and Morana strangely are getting along well, but there’s still the tournament that looms in the corner and like Liraeth said, Morana is still in plenty of danger even before the tournament starts. I hope that all will be well for now and…

I wish you both an absolutely magical day/night! ^v^

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canopy
Review
canopy wrote a review Review · Sep 19, 2024

Image

Hello @Ley and @WeepingWisteria, Detective Ira here, I have apparently stumbled upon your manuscript while searching for clues in the Devil’s Library, which is where I believe the ancient magical book of Toramu is hidden. Since I’m already here, I shall give my opinion on this piece of yours.

Though I have to say it is very strange that I should find your writing here……. hmmm…..

What I can see


I'm very, very interested by what's going on here! I like how the chapter starts at the beginning of the tournament, it really poses great questions immediately, What tournament? where? Who is participating? Why is the tournament happening? Really draws the reader in and intrigues them from the very beginning.

I really enjoyed the descriptions and I love how a problem was introduced right at the beginning.

Two beds.


Not only is it a great way to provide information and avoid infodumping, but it also tightens the pacing and really makes this first chapter very interesting. The worldbuilding is also really great here! The setting of the fractured gods and the tournament hints at a really great depth in the story and the difference of this tournament being a personal affair also adds a nice layer of mystery.

I enjoyed reading the interaction between Liraeth and her mother. Their relationship seems to be pretty good and Liraeth comes across as an obedient, model daughter. I'm curious to see where this goes in the future.

The revelation of the god of Death choosing a mortal for the tournament and Liraeth being asked to look after the mortal is really very interesting! The idea of a mortal being vital to maintain balance is very intriguing and I feel like it might have something to do with The Fracture. Perhaps at the end of the story said mortal and Liraeth shall reverse the fracture?

Morana itself is an amazingly interesting character. Her lack of deference, considering she is a mortal among gods is very interesting, but perhaps to be expected. Mors wouldn't have sent her without at least some training, I suppose.

Liraeth is surprisingly receptive to Morana, she comes across as a genuinely sweet, kind, honest and considerate person. This makes me wonder about her role in the tournament and what kind of tournament it is and the stakes because she is also very different from her contemporaries who seem to be ruthless, bloodthirsty and pitiless, not to mention hell bent on winning the tournament.

This also makes me wonder about Liraeth's dynamic with the rest of the group, Genesis, Centauri and everybody else. She seems to be the 'black sheep' of the group, but also the most powerful, I feel like there is history there and I'm now immensely curious to see how this tournament works out, and what the dynamic is and how it changes, especially if it is possible to lose the tournament or die.

Morana's powers also seem promising and add a lovely layer to the story, I like that she isn't powerless or helpless but rather confident and determined. Quite a contrast from Liraeth, who seems to prefer laying low though powerful she is, I'm curious to see how this works out! :D

Under the magnifying glass


One thing that did strike me while reading was Liraeth's and by definition the other competitor's parents. Everybody usually has two parents, so do they also have two parents? Are they deities too? If so, do they derive powers from both their parents?

Closing the case


Overall, I really enjoyed reading this installment of yours, it's a smashing start to your story and I'm very, very interested to see how the story progresses. I also like the ending, it's a great touch of humour! :D

It was lovely going through this manuscript of yours. Everything expressed was my opinion, feel free to accept or reject whatever you want.

If you have any clues relating to the book of Toramu or anything you want to clarify feel free to contact my alias, ahem, my dear friend @khushi17bansal.

Until next time!!

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“This man was poisoned! Oh, wait, is that blood? That is blood. This man was poisoned in the chest with a knife!”
—Hercule Poirot, “The Murdertime Murders,” by Agatha Christie



Maybe we're all just complex human beings with skewed perceptions of each other.
— Ventomology