Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
This was quite a good story. Even though the title kind of gives away the entire plot of the story, I was kind of relieved to find out that this wasn't just another end-of-the-word zombie apocalypse story. The story is based on a dystopian world or a world where society is marred by the effects of war. Its a pretty believable and realistic situation, and I liked the fact that nothing felt artificial or forced about this world you have created.
I felt it’s warmth dance across my skin for the first time in many months.
I was very confused by the beginning. I could not understand what you were trying to imply here - that the narrator had slept through the entire war? The way he wakes up and reacts to this world around him kind of suggests that he knows exactly what happened but he has no memory of it. You can understand why that would confuse your readers. For all we know, this could very well be a bad dream that the narrator was yet to wake up from. I cannot think of another reason why he would be so surprised to see the sun shine outside his house. The city could not have been under an eternal cover of rainclouds for months now, could it?
I stood up and looked across the newly light horizon, then reality hit me: the city was destroyed.
I did not like how this realization came about so suddenly - like this was a fact a person could forget in the first place. The narrator's realization was too surprised to be believable. He gives us a short account of the state of things in the present moments, but it is just your typical description of a post-apocalyptic world. The way you skimmed over the details of the war was slightly sketchy, it made me feel as if you had not thought that part out properly yet. You need to give us some background on this world you have created, otherwise it feels like we are stepping in unarmed into this universe of your creation without any prior information. It also builds some confusion in our heads as we struggle to imagine what happened to lead to that moment.
I put my back to the door after I shut and slid down to the floor crying.
That was a pretty realistic reaction right there. I like the fact that despite the slightly sketchy and unfinished detailing of this world you have created, you have still managed to firmly establish your character through this short piece. His emotions are very clear and realistic and the character itself seems very fleshed out. We can empathize with the narrator even when we don't know what exactly is going on and that tells you that you have succeeded in creating a real-to-life strong character, with whom your readers can connect.
Someone else was alive, I nearly jumped with joy and the prospect of not being the last one left alive in the aftermath of the war.
I did not like this transition here. It seemed to happen too quickly to be believable. Also, it was really opportune how the man seemed to narrate all the important details about his location and food situation, just when the narrator was trying out the different radio stations. Even so, the narrator's reaction was believable enough and I an understand the desperation with which he immediately started packing a bag with his essentials as if he was leaving for a last-minute vacation.
The story took an interesting turn then and I feel like it has more to say. This cannot be the ending. What happened to the man in the radio? Did the narrator ever get to him? Were they really the last two people? There's a lot of unanswered questions I wished I knew the answers to. But overall, this was still a rather good story.
(addicted to sci-fi)
Points: 82352
Reviews: 659
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