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A Lifetime (Chapter Three)

by Lethargic

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Evan sat across from Htee and Marie, the three of them cracking up at Htee’s fountain drink escapades. Marie and Evan were cracking up at Htee’s fountain drink escapades. They didn’t acknowledge Jamie’s presence in the restaurant. It wasn’t until Evan noticed him that the group realized their new “enemy” was nearby.

“He’s here,” Evan whispered. The trio all leaned in close so as not to be heard by anyone else. “Jamie.”

“Ooh… Is there gonna be drama?” Htee asked with an exaggerated face of disgust.

Marie shook her head. “I don’t feel like causing any more shit today.”

Jamie went up to order. He attempted to make his voice less monotone than usual, but found it extremely hard. After he had ordered, Jamie went to set his number down. He then moseyed over to the soft drink fountain and got himself some of the knockoff Coca Cola. Jamie went back to his table and took a sip of the drink. He got to enjoy the real thing where he used to live. But he was determined not to think about any of that.

  • ••
  • It was the first Saturday of the school year, and Jamie had waited for what felt like ages. He woke up to a dark gray morning sky that complemented the light gray walls and ceiling of his new room. The clouds had come without warning. He hadn’t heard anything suggesting that there could be clouds on Saturday.

    Jamie turned over in bed, thinking back on his school week. It had been uneventful except for the never-ending game of “try not to laugh” the orange haired boy he sat next to and the two girls he hung out with were subjecting him to. He took out his phone and got off of the mattress he had been sleeping on temporarily. His new bed had yet to arrive.

    The brunette stretched and thought about what he wanted to do with his day. There wasn’t much to do in Hubbard, especially since Jamie was basically friendless. The teen looked outside his window. As if waiting for him, the rain began soon after he set his sights on the outside world.

    Jamie ventured into the kitchen. He opened the fridge. Nothing. “Mom?” Jamie asked, loud enough so that anyone in the small house would be able to hear it. He saw a sticky note stuck to the faux marble countertop.

    My boss called last night. They needed a driver to do some out-of-state deliveries. Sorry to leave with so little notice; I didn’t know I had to go until after you went to bed last night. I put some money on your card in case you need to go grocery shopping. I should be back by Thursday. Take care!

    -Love, Mom

    Jamie sighed. Ever since his father left, Jamie would have to be left alone for days on end. But he didn’t blame his mom. She was just trying to give her son a good life, and driving trucks around the country was a great way to ensure they had the funds for that.

    The teen plopped down onto the upholstered loveseat that was situated opposite the television. He sighed again. Jamie knew for a fact that there wasn’t going to be a decent grocery store in the town, so he got to researching. After only about two minutes spent searching, Jamie concluded that the nearest grocery store sat about forty-five minutes North in Goldville. Jamie looked in the pantry, fridge, freezer, and cabinets to find out what he needed to go buy. He put everything on a list in his phone and went to go take a shower.

    The water emerged from the shower head with a roar before calming down. It took a little bit for Jamie to find a comfortable temperature. When he finally found it, though, he didn’t even get in. He had realized that he forgot to take his depression meds. A speed-walk to the kitchen and back later, Jamie finally got in. Then, he began to think. And when Jameson Noble began to think, he went down a rabbit hole of random and deep thought. It was because of these episodes that Jamie had a reputation for being late at his old school.

    The vast majority of these thoughts were about that trio of teens that he couldn’t keep out of his head. Why was he so obsessed? Why were they seemingly everywhere? He tried to shake the unwanted death-spiral of thoughts about these random schoolmates, but it didn’t end until the shower water grew cold.

    Shit, he thought, Have I really been in here for that long?”

    Jamie hastily went through the motions, then got out. He got dressed and then proceeded to lounge around. That was, until he remembered that he had some grocery shopping to do.

    Groaning, Jamie put on a hoodie, grabbed his dying phone, found his car keys, then went on his merry way. The bronze truck roared to life and began its pilgrimage to Goldville Grocers. There weren’t many cars on the road, likely due to the rain, so Jamie was able to make his way out of Hubbard with ease. Soon after he got onto the highway, Jamie spotted a light blue farmhouse nestled on the side of the road. He didn’t pay it much mind.

    After driving through the increasingly heavy rain, Jamie finally arrived at the grocery store. It was the first thing he saw when he got to Goldville. He parked as close to the entrance as possible. He got out of his car, and immediately began to regret his failure to bring an umbrella. Jamie made full use of his long legs and made a mad dash into the store. Determined to get home before the weather got even worse, Jamie grabbed a cart and started to look for what he needed. Slowly but surely, Jamie gathered up everything he needed. As he checked off the last item in his list, his phone died.

    The total cost of all the groceries was uncomfortably high. The brunette paid in silence and left in silence. He started his car in silence, and began driving in silence. He backed out of the parking space. Time to go home.

    Jamie observed a few wrecks caused by the slippery roads. He felt calm, however. Despite only having gotten his license recently, he had been practicing driving since he was thirteen.

    Jamie was almost to town when he heard a loud BANG that startled him into almost driving into the ditch. A cacophony of other concerning sounds followed soon after, and, before he knew it, Jamie was stranded. His car had broken down in the frigid rain. He tried his phone. It was still dead. Jamie got out of the useless vehicle. He saw a beacon of hope. That sky blue farmhouse! But Jamie wasn’t about to swallow his pride and ask for help. He kicked the truck, only to grab his foot in pain. “Fuck!” he exclaimed. He almost let tears flow. He sat down, crisscrossed next to his truck. He was facing away from the farmhouse.

    He caved and began to cry. He heard a door open.

    “Hey!” a slightly familiar voice yelled from behind.

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    408 Reviews

    Points: 4516
    Reviews: 408

    Sun Apr 26, 2020 9:16 pm
    Liberty wrote a review...

    Hey there, Lethargic!

    Hope you're doing well. I'm here to drop off a review for you. Let's get right into it, shall we?

    Alright, so this is a pretty neato chapter.

    Mostly everything was clear and I understood it properly. I haven't read the previous chapters, but with a few bits of information in this chapter, I understood that Jamie just arrived to a new academy (I think) and he is attracted to a specific group of students - "the trio". Seems pretty normal to me, hehe.

    When you mentioned the blue farmhouse, I knew there was going to be something important about it. This is very cool!

    “Hey!” a slightly familiar voice yelled from behind.

    I bet it's the trio from earlier. ;)

    Your descriptions, grammar - pretty much everything, really - was fantastic!

    Now, I'll get to the little nitpicks-

    Evan sat across from Htee and Marie, the three of them cracking up at Htee’s fountain drink escapades. Marie and Evan were cracking up at Htee’s fountain drink escapades.

    Um, these two sentences are just repetitions. The first one mentions the trio laughing together, but then the second sentence mentions only Marie and Evan laughing.

    It had been uneventful except for the never-ending game of “try not to laugh” the orange haired boy he sat next to and the two girls he hung out with were subjecting him to.

    I think you meant to start a new chapter from the.

    The brunette stretched and thought about what he wanted to do with his day.

    It mentions that this person is a he. And you also mention "brunette". Brunette is for female - while brunet is for male.

    That's it for my review! I hope this helped in some sort of way. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me!

    And as always...

    Keep on writing and Happy Review Day!



    User avatar
    44 Reviews

    Points: 5435
    Reviews: 44

    Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:08 pm
    AndName wrote a review...


    I really like how you fleshed out the mysterious Jamie in this chapter! :) Even in his small mannerisms it's really telling who he is as a person. *applause* And you put him through the ringer. Good lord. I can't really judge though, I have a terrible habit of physically injuring my MC's.

    Okay, review time.

    The first two sentences tripped me up. It says that Evan, Htee and Marie are laughing about Htee's terrible drink decision, and then the next sentence repeats minus Htee. It does distance the group of friends from Jamie who's silently watching from afar but it's a bit confusing. I had to reread it to make sure my mind didn't misread it. Maybe rewrite it so it's something like-
    ... fountain drink escapades. Jamie watched the three laughing. They hadn't noticed his presence in the restaurant until Evan looked up and alerted the others that their new 'enemy' was nearby.

    Okay, maybe not exactly that but something similar. Evan sounds like a watch dog lol.

    I like how you captured the grey feel to the world in this. From Jamie's sighing view of the world to the unhappy rain, it's very melancholy. In a good way! Also, the shower scene really shows who he is amazingly, from him waiting for it to warm up and then not getting in. And him remembering his meds and then falling down rabbit holes of thought. So he's dark haired and brooding? lol. Also, mysterious. And I think tall?

    And you broke his truck! Like he really needed that. I love how he gets out and just sits in the rain, it sums up all of this chapter and him wonderfully, plus, we've all felt like that before. And i'm guessing the blue farmhouse is Evan's? That fell wonderfully together if it is :)

    Asides from little touches here and there that don't really matter in the long run, I've nothing else to criticize about this well executed chapter! Awesome job and keep writing, I'll be keeping up with the story because it's very interesting so far :)


    Lethargic says...

    Thank you!

    User avatar
    18 Reviews

    Points: 221
    Reviews: 18

    Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:21 pm
    Draculus says...

    Hey, Jamie is not a bad guy, he's a nice one. I feel pity for him, for some reason...

    You are going to love some of your characters because they are you, or some facet of you, and you are going to hate some characters for the same reason.
    — Anne Lamott