Hullo LeonineLisbeth! Cat here to review this wonderful story! Okay then, here we go! 
First, let's go through your story together:
Spoiler! :
The metal gate wrapped in vine opened with a whine, and footsteps proceeded to follow the light and narrow gravel footpath. The blood-red roses, the main attraction, were the first to come into view, then the gypsophila (Is this a type of flower? It sounds pretty!) with the blue oriental lilies (Blue lilies? Ooh!) by the signature lake. Giant red turtles (Red? Cool!), the size of an average human, elegantly glided through the waters. Their shells, their pride, shone in the sunlight with a brilliant gleam.
The garden was similar to a sight of ‘never-ending.’ Arches blanketed in vines and shrubbery alike lead the way down the one-way road and seemed to go on forever. No matter the direction your eyes would turn to, something beautiful was waiting.
Elizabeth neared her pride and joy, her roses, and eyed them as she inspected them delicately. “They’re standing tall today,” she mumbled contently. Though petals scattered the soil from previously fallen flora, new ones were replaced quickly. She observed the home of her heart, and didn’t fail to see its emptiness.
Maybe I should let someone back in.
…
The school bell signifying the class's end interrupted the teacher mid-equation, and students scattered like ants out of the classroom (Sounds about right! xD) for their last break of the day.
The school halls were full of students eager to eat and enjoy their forty-five-minute freedom. Escaping the chaos of her peers, she retreated from the locker bays and to ‘the’ tree ('The'? Oh, if it's the only tree, then you don't need to quotations, I don't think.) behind the school. The wind had a cold nip to it that afternoon and it gave Elizabeth goosebumps on her arms as she waited.
“Sorry, Liza. Got caught up,” the girl’s friend greeted her.
“Oh, hey Maddy.” She watched asshe Maddy (This is just so we know who you are talking about here) started swinging from the lowest tree branch like a child. “Legal studies?”
“Yep. I wanted to ask about my grade.”
“You got an A, didn’t you?”
“A- to be exact. She’s stupid.”
“But it’s good!” Elizabeth was suddenly reminded of the important ‘thing’ she had to tell her friend. She knew she wasn’t going to react well, but come what may. “Hey, Maddy, about your birthday…”
“What about it?”
“Well, it turns out that I won’t be able to go on Friday. My family just planned us travelling out of state for the weekend and we leave early Friday. I’m really sorry!”
The conversation turned as expected. “Oh… That’s okay! I’m used to it anyway, people bailing out on me at last minute and stuff.”
“Maddy, don’t say that.”
“It’s true, though!” she said with a fake laugh; the fakest of the fake. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just go to the library.”
“What for?”
“So I can do work, stupid. Let’s go.” Madeline started walking off before Elizabeth even stood up from the ground. She sighed as she watched after her friend, knowing what else she was to expect when school was over.
“Don’t call me stupid…”
“Hurry up!”
...
“Here we go,” she said to herself when her phone buzzed. Sure enough, it was the text she had been waiting for. Elizabeth knew that Madeline was not one for face-to-face confrontation and would not stop resorting to hiding behind a phone screen where faking was at its easiest. (So true...)
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going away before you said you were coming to my birthday?”
The answer was pretty obvious. Her fingers tapped out her message and replied.
“Because this was organised literally last night. I had no idea this was going to happen. I’m really sorry. I know you’re disappointed, but I promise you it’s out of my power.”
“Idiot, I know it is. But… I really was only looking forward to you coming. I don’t care about the other four. Plus, my mum said that I HAD to have at least five people come or it would be too small.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but there’s not much I can do about it.”
Elizabeth was sure she could hear her friend sighing three suburbs away. She didn’t blame her friend for messaging her the way she was; guilt-tripping. She would have felt the same, but she wouldn’t make anyone feel worse than they already did about it. Plus, the 'playful' insults were used half in spite, the smiley faces afterwards not making anything better.
“I promise I’ll definitely make it up to you. Let’s organise (I think there is supposed to be a z instead of s, but I'm not sure) a day we can hang out together!”
“I don’t think we can.”
In the heat of frustration, she threw her phone into her pillow and growled. She was sick of apologizing all the time, being told she was doing something wrong, when she knew she didn’t have to. Yet the obligation and guilt was there. Elizabeth flopped onto her bed, her face in her pillow as she felt her chest tightening with resentment.
Her mother eventually called her and the rest of the family for dinner at the table, and the wafting smell of rosemary and lamb snapped her out of her state. Elizabeth got up and sluggishly dragged her feet across the floor as she thought to herself; This can't be good for the roses.
…
She stared at the trampled flowers in disappointment, secretly hoping that it didn’t have to happen again. But of course, not everyone in life is the ray of sun our roses need to flourish in beauty and content. Dark clouds are inevitable. (This is getting really hard because you are kinda at first talking directly about the girl, then switch to talking to us reader. Maybe try to keep it to talking about what Elizabeth is thinking and feeling, but at the same time, it is what she is thinking and feeling, so again, it's really hard) She could see the footprints in the soil where the roses used to stand tall and proud, looking as though the perpetrator had practically danced all over her foundation—her amiable heart.
“Looks like you’ll be standing outside the gate again, Maddy,” Elizabeth said as she watered the mistreated life. It wasn’t like she could just pull them out and plant new ones in. She was only left to wait for someone to come around and make them grow again. Maddy wasn’t the only person in the world, she knew. She just had to find another source of sunshine in someone else. “Come back when you want to treat them nicely.”
Dark clouds may billow and block out the sun from view, it’s still there though it be hidden from the naked eye. Her roses grow again with the sunlight in her family. Friends can carry the same warmth, but at the same time bring the cumulonimbus with them. All it takes is for her to be the sun in their garden and teach them how to smell the flowers right. (This sentence doesn't really make sense)
The garden was similar to a sight of ‘never-ending.’ Arches blanketed in vines and shrubbery alike lead the way down the one-way road and seemed to go on forever. No matter the direction your eyes would turn to, something beautiful was waiting.
Elizabeth neared her pride and joy, her roses, and eyed them as she inspected them delicately. “They’re standing tall today,” she mumbled contently. Though petals scattered the soil from previously fallen flora, new ones were replaced quickly. She observed the home of her heart, and didn’t fail to see its emptiness.
Maybe I should let someone back in.
…
The school bell signifying the class's end interrupted the teacher mid-equation, and students scattered like ants out of the classroom (Sounds about right! xD) for their last break of the day.
The school halls were full of students eager to eat and enjoy their forty-five-minute freedom. Escaping the chaos of her peers, she retreated from the locker bays and to ‘the’ tree ('The'? Oh, if it's the only tree, then you don't need to quotations, I don't think.) behind the school. The wind had a cold nip to it that afternoon and it gave Elizabeth goosebumps on her arms as she waited.
“Sorry, Liza. Got caught up,” the girl’s friend greeted her.
“Oh, hey Maddy.” She watched as
“Yep. I wanted to ask about my grade.”
“You got an A, didn’t you?”
“A- to be exact. She’s stupid.”
“But it’s good!” Elizabeth was suddenly reminded of the important ‘thing’ she had to tell her friend. She knew she wasn’t going to react well, but come what may. “Hey, Maddy, about your birthday…”
“What about it?”
“Well, it turns out that I won’t be able to go on Friday. My family just planned us travelling out of state for the weekend and we leave early Friday. I’m really sorry!”
The conversation turned as expected. “Oh… That’s okay! I’m used to it anyway, people bailing out on me at last minute and stuff.”
“Maddy, don’t say that.”
“It’s true, though!” she said with a fake laugh; the fakest of the fake. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just go to the library.”
“What for?”
“So I can do work, stupid. Let’s go.” Madeline started walking off before Elizabeth even stood up from the ground. She sighed as she watched after her friend, knowing what else she was to expect when school was over.
“Don’t call me stupid…”
“Hurry up!”
...
“Here we go,” she said to herself when her phone buzzed. Sure enough, it was the text she had been waiting for. Elizabeth knew that Madeline was not one for face-to-face confrontation and would not stop resorting to hiding behind a phone screen where faking was at its easiest. (So true...)
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going away before you said you were coming to my birthday?”
The answer was pretty obvious. Her fingers tapped out her message and replied.
“Because this was organised literally last night. I had no idea this was going to happen. I’m really sorry. I know you’re disappointed, but I promise you it’s out of my power.”
“Idiot, I know it is. But… I really was only looking forward to you coming. I don’t care about the other four. Plus, my mum said that I HAD to have at least five people come or it would be too small.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but there’s not much I can do about it.”
Elizabeth was sure she could hear her friend sighing three suburbs away. She didn’t blame her friend for messaging her the way she was; guilt-tripping. She would have felt the same, but she wouldn’t make anyone feel worse than they already did about it. Plus, the 'playful' insults were used half in spite, the smiley faces afterwards not making anything better.
“I promise I’ll definitely make it up to you. Let’s organise (I think there is supposed to be a z instead of s, but I'm not sure) a day we can hang out together!”
“I don’t think we can.”
In the heat of frustration, she threw her phone into her pillow and growled. She was sick of apologizing all the time, being told she was doing something wrong, when she knew she didn’t have to. Yet the obligation and guilt was there. Elizabeth flopped onto her bed, her face in her pillow as she felt her chest tightening with resentment.
Her mother eventually called her and the rest of the family for dinner at the table, and the wafting smell of rosemary and lamb snapped her out of her state. Elizabeth got up and sluggishly dragged her feet across the floor as she thought to herself; This can't be good for the roses.
…
She stared at the trampled flowers in disappointment, secretly hoping that it didn’t have to happen again. But of course, not everyone in life is the ray of sun our roses need to flourish in beauty and content. Dark clouds are inevitable. (This is getting really hard because you are kinda at first talking directly about the girl, then switch to talking to us reader. Maybe try to keep it to talking about what Elizabeth is thinking and feeling, but at the same time, it is what she is thinking and feeling, so again, it's really hard) She could see the footprints in the soil where the roses used to stand tall and proud, looking as though the perpetrator had practically danced all over her foundation—her amiable heart.
“Looks like you’ll be standing outside the gate again, Maddy,” Elizabeth said as she watered the mistreated life. It wasn’t like she could just pull them out and plant new ones in. She was only left to wait for someone to come around and make them grow again. Maddy wasn’t the only person in the world, she knew. She just had to find another source of sunshine in someone else. “Come back when you want to treat them nicely.”
Dark clouds may billow and block out the sun from view, it’s still there though it be hidden from the naked eye. Her roses grow again with the sunlight in her family. Friends can carry the same warmth, but at the same time bring the cumulonimbus with them. All it takes is for her to be the sun in their garden and teach them how to smell the flowers right. (This sentence doesn't really make sense)
What I liked: I loved the whole story! It was such a well written story with a true message.
What to fix/improve: Not really much, just some of the little things I commented on in the spoiler. I would just recommend not using 'she' in every situation you refer to Elizabeth, just so it is not overused, but also try not to overuse Elizabeth. (I know, it's hard!)
Other random comments: Honestly, this story really draws me into Elizabeth's life and shows me her sensitive heart, like all of ours. I love the use of texting, making this story definitely true in the 21st century! ^^
Well anyways, wonderful story! Great job and keep writing!
Points: 1846
Reviews: 102
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