Hey there and happy review day! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get to it.
I like the subtle theme of this poem, allowing for these characters to have a vague backstory and letting the reader imagine whoever they might prefer. Your wording is nice, almost childlike but not in an immature way. The diction makes everything seem dreamily distant from the rest of the world, and separate from a specific fixation on two people that have important identities. Words like "gazing","serenity","twilight", etc.
Now for some of the nitpick-y stuff.
Although the tone seems intended to be dreamy and sweetly executed, it's quite rude to the person waiting for this girl to return. I always love not pinning any pronouns down to specified people, but with no given identity of the boy (I assume) we as the reader have no reason to agree with the author in their blunt distaste toward them. Some particular phrases I would change: "Her age; Her past;" I would put a period after past, or else it's become a run-on sentence held together with commas and semicolons.
"Yet you were stupid enough to judge her,
To let her go." I would edit this to be "Yet you chose to judge her,
To let her go."... because this fits the short but definitely-not-sweet tone that this is trying to portray.
"Now you stand, staring, in marvellous wonder" I would either say staring 'with' marvellous wonder or change the phrase completely. For example, "Now you're left to stare in marvellous wonder" or something like that.
To wrap up, I did like this poem. It doesn't give a clear cut story which can be lovable and hateable in many aspects; but, I can see what you intended. The author wants to make a point to the other person that they lost something worthwhile and should feel guilty or regret. This poem in particular didn't really resonate with me because of the vagueness toward why the reader should dislike the person this is directed at..but I'm sure if you wrote something of this nature again it would improve greatly!
Happy reviewing!
~Purple
Points: 2421
Reviews: 122
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