We All Fall Down

This is my first short story. Any advice/corrections are much wanted....oh and if any of you could please point out where I need to start a new paragraph that would be super...

love ya!

Laydra

Josh had asked Jadyn before.

“No, Josh. What would my parents say?”

“No one said you had to tell them.”

“Look, I take my faith seriously; this wouldn’t sit well with the church.”

Jaydn remembered all of this, but as Josh’s velvet eyes spilled their warmth into hers, she strayed from the narrow path and opened her sensual spirit to his. Taking his hand, she smiled as he led her to his bedroom, away from innocence.

It had been an hour since Jaydn had fallen from grace and already she found herself brushing away tears—the gravity of her lustful actions weighed on her heart. She sought comfort in the shower. As the water hit her body she closed her eyes, and images played before her eyelids—the future—the day in which her sin would be revealed; the day in which she would tread the ground of public shame. Jadyn turned off the water as a sudden wave of grief washed over her. She hurriedly, clothed herself with a blouse and pair of shorts that she had stowed away in her purse. Suddenly, she realized that she had to leave; never mind that she had promised Josh she would spend the night.

She opened the front door; a gust of wind met her and she cringed. Despite the sudden cold she stepped forward and shut the red door behind her. Bracing herself, she ran into the night whispering her childhood song:

“Ring around the rosy,

A Pocket full of posies…”

Her father had taught it to her years before, and since then she always found it a comfort and a time killer. Within no time she rounded a corner and her unkempt backyard came into view. With expert grace she climbed through her bedroom window, and fell into a deep sleep, not wanting to face another day.

“Good morning, Sunshine!”

Jadyn’s father stooped to kiss his daughter’s tousled hair. He grabbed a cigar and sat down, at the kitchen table, opposite his offspring. Jadyn nodded in response and continued to munch on a time hardened muffin. She didn’t feel like making conversation, especially after having committed sin within her being the night before. She sincerely hated falsity. Why act as innocent as a dove if her inner depths were dark and guilty of awakening passion before its intended time? She wouldn’t become an actor. She would sulk and hate herself openly for as long as she needed too. She finished her breakfast and headed upstairs. She passed her mother in the hall who smiled at her warmly and wished her a good morning. Jadyn didn’t return the greeting. Her mother walked into the kitchen and sat in Jadyn’s chair.

“Does Jay seem upset to you, Michael,” Jaydn’s mother asked her spouse curiously.

“I’ve noticed it,” he said putting out his cigar and yawning, “it’s just a phase. You know how teenagers…”

He stopped suddenly as Jadyn reentered the room. Handing her mother the car keys she brushed passed her father’s legs and existed through the front door—in unusual silence. Her mother raised her eyebrows, her dark eyes moving from the door back to her spouse.

“A phase,” she asked standing and placing her hands on her hips.

He sighed.

“I’m sure she’ll spill her guts to you in the car, Isabel. You know how girls are at this age. It’s probably over that stupid guy she’s dating.” He ran his fingers through his jet black hair and smiled. It’s nothing to be worried about.”

“I hope you’re right, honey.”

“You know I am.”

He reached for her, but she moved.

“I need to get Jay to school, Mike” she said giggling.

“Suit yourself.”

Jadyn’s mother walked briskly out the front door, well aware that she was five minutes late. As she opened the car door Jadyn turned her head, hiding her tears.

“All right!” Her mother said putting the key in the ignition and fixing her rearview mirror. “Tell me, now”

Jadyn ran her slender fingers through her hair, and shook her head no. Her mother touched her shoulder and said calmly, Jadyn something is wrong. I’m sure…”

“No.”

Her mother nodded in understanding and backed the car out of the driveway. It’s just a phase. She reassured herself mentally, but as she neared the school she couldn’t help but to notice that Jadyn became anxious.

“What’s with the fidgeting?” She asked as the car pulled to a stop. Jadyn didn’t answer; instead, she got out of the vehicle hurriedly without saying good bye. Her mother sighed and began to drive toward home.

The school day went by in a whirl. Jaydn rushed from class to class and in no time found herself at the end of the day, alone in the parking lot with her best friend. Jadyn wanted to be comforted but she sensed the other girl didn’t know how to give her what she needed. She looked into Elizabeth’s hazel eyes, searching for an answer but she saw nothing. Elizabeth couldn’t help. Jadyn walked away, her long strides quickly breaking into a run. She sang her childhood song mentally to pass time:

“Ashes, ashes

We all fall down”

Within a matter of minutes she found herself locked in her bedroom. She slowly covered the full length mirror that was mounted to the wall. She couldn’t—she wouldn’t look at her reflection. As if an unseen force placed weights on her shoulders, she sank to the floor. Unwelcome tears sprang to her eyes and her throat emitted savage sounds. She was sure that her chocking sobs could be heard throughout the house, but because her parents weren’t home—they had went to visit an ill friend—to give an ear she didn’t care. Her heart was broken. She felt alone and condemned.

Maybe you should end it, Jay.

The thought entered her mind in a sudden clearness. She sat up straight and wiped her eyes. She rose steadily and walked toward the bathroom. She knew what would achieve the deed, but as she neared the blue door she realized she couldn’t go through with her plan. She still struggled with the belief that Hell existed and that if she committed the unforgivable act she would be sent to its depths of pain and despair. She couldn’t go there, at least not yet.

A few weeks ago she had overheard a group of girls in English class talking in the back of the room about the ways in which they dealt with the problems in their life. She remembered that one girl had said she cut herself. Jadyn had cringed upon hearing this, almost certain that the other girls would be repulsed as well, but they weren’t.

Jadyn weighed her options. Anything was better than nothing. She found a steak knife in the kitchen drawer and sat on a stool. The blade touched her pale flesh. She watched as her life-fountain came to the surface in a thin red line.

When her spirit‘s screams subsided to a whisper she cleaned herself and hid her wounds. No one needed to know. As if to celebrate she opened the fringe and indulged in her father’s homemade concoctions.

As the weeks passed Jadyn’s state grew worse, and her parents noticed what they could.

“Jadyn,” her father said in frustration, “I don’t understand this.” He pushed the manila envelope that contained her report card across the wooden table. Her mother sighed in disappointment.

“Jadyn, honey, your grades are not up to par. What happened?”

“Nothing!”

Her father clinched his jaw.

“What about college, honey?”

“I’m not going!”

Jadyn rose from the table, knocking a chair over in her rush. She bounded up the stairs, fist clenched, tears streaming down her face. She kicked her room door open then slammed it shut. Reaching into her dresser drawer, she took out her special knife.

“I’m going up there…”

“No you won’t. That’s what she want’s you to do. It’s just a phase. She’ll come out of this funk as quickly as she sunk into it.” He glanced at the softball glove and flute that lay on top of the garbage can and shook his head. So much promise, Jadyn had so much talent, and yet she was letting it drip from the faucet. He rose from his seat and walked into the living room. His wife followed.

“This weekend,” he said taking a seat on the white couch, “we’ll take a trip to give her some space.

Jaydn’s mother bit her bottom lip and sat beside her spouse.

“I don’t think we should leave her while she’s in this ‘phase’.” She’s acting weirder everyday. Michael, she wears long sleeved shirts in 80 degree weather. I…”

“She needs space, sweetie.”

After a moments contemplation Jadyn’s mother nodded in agreement.

Jadyn threw the bottle to the wooden floor. It shattered into several brown pieces. She didn’t move to clean it. Her parents weren’t home; they had gone on a trip. She had told them that she would spend the night at Elizabeth’s house, which she would—right after she had hushed her spirits’ screaming

She had consumed two bottles and already she was feeling intoxicated. Her eyelids felt heavy and her vision was blurred. Despite these side effects she took the knife and it met her arm.

“Too deep,” she whispered faintly.

She stood up from the chair unsteadily and collapsed to the floor. There she lay for hours, comatose, drowning in a puddle of life.

The ‘phase’ had come to an end, and Jadyn’s mother couldn’t put her feelings into words. She stared at her daughter lying in the coffin.

“I’m so sorry honey,” her father said crying into his hands. “Why didn’t I see?

Jadyn’s mother placed a slender hand over her mouth to stifle a long held cry. She rushed to the coffin. In a fit of despair she took hold of her dead and shook her by the shoulders.

Other family members rushed toward the woman and pulled her back.

“This is your fault, Michael,” she exclaimed overcome by emotion.

Michael nodded his head. What Jadyn had been going through wasn’t a phase, but this—what they were about to endure—was. He and his wife would grieve; they would get a divorce and move on with their lives as best they could. He knew what was going to happen. He was no virgin to the statistics. It would all come to an end.

He walked out of the funeral home, leaving his veil of grief behind. He was going home. Jadyn would welcome him with open arms. He began to hum the song that had been on his heart for days and suddenly broke out in full song:

"Ring around the rosy,

A pocket full of posies;

ashes, ashes

we all fall down!"