The clock strikes one, the room is cold and still,
The shadows whisper secrets in my ear.
A hollow ache that logic cannot fill:
“You’ll die alone. There’s no one for you here.”
The mask is heavy, resting on the floor,
A porcelain lie I’m forced to wear by day.
I cannot take the silence anymore,
So to the glass, I find my weary way.
"Why is the sky so heavy and so black?"
The clouds begin to break, a sudden flood.
(The universe is finally talking back,
With rhythmic tears that wash away the mud.)
I push the window wide to catch the scent,
The silver breath of petrichor and rain.
A cinematic grace, a gift that’s sent
To validate the heartbeat of my pain.
I whisper to the dark my secret name,
The one the mask has tried so hard to hide.
“The day will come,” I softly stake my claim,
“When you can let the person out... inside.”
"Why can't I just be light, and free, and clear?"
I watch my sister’s chest rise in her sleep.
(I envy how she breathes without the fear,
Of having such a jagged soul to keep.)
"You're lucky," I address the quiet air,
Before I drift into a restless grace.
Knowing that tomorrow, I must bear
The painted smile back upon my face.
My ride-or-die, my shield, my heavy debt,
It waits for sunrise, patient on the shelf.
But for tonight, the grass and I are wet,
And for an hour... I was just myself.
My inspiration:
I was lying in bed last night, wondering about my future, when one recurring thought kept surfacing: “You’re going to die alone. No one loves you, and it’s the mask's fault.”
I eventually got out of bed and walked over to the window to cry. It was around 1:00 AM when the rain started falling hard. I actually smiled because it felt like such a coincidence—just like in the movies when it starts to pour the exact moment the character gets upset.
I opened my window because I love the smell of rain. Taking a deep breath, I whispered to myself, "The day will come when you can finally remove the mask, LayLay2013." #ISaidMyRealName
A single tear rolled down my cheek. By the time I got back into bed, the rain had passed. I looked over at my sister sleeping peacefully and whispered, "You’re lucky that you’re not like me."
Then, I lay down and finally fell asleep. I realized that at night, I take the mask off—but in the morning, it becomes my "ride or die" all over again.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Heyyyyy! It's catsz here to drop by and leave a review for the Berry Cool Crew! Let's dive into your gorgeous poem, my friend!
Title: It gives off such an aesthetically pleasing vibe. When I think of it, it's like a dark purple curtain, swishing in the wind behind an open window, with a tree and the moon shining down on it. Well thought out!
Stanza One: Immediately establishing the rhyme scheme. ABAB, a classic one that I love! At night, some truth always comes out, some kind of thought, some kind of voice in your head. It's quiet, and allows your mind to wander and think. You expressed that wonderfully through the clock ticking, silence, the shadows, the quiet logic that your mind allows you to accept. But I want you to know that it isn't true. There's going to be someone, anyone, who's going to come into your life and make it better. I'm always the type of person who believes that everyone deserves a happy ending, and there always is a light. "A cut needs to bleed first before it can heal."
Stanza Two: I love the interruption caused by the flood of rain outside, the bolded letters are giving off that vibe! The rain sent by the heavens to try to comfort you, or wrap you in a thought..."you aren't alone, I'm here." And you believe it. "The day will come." And it will. Just as the earth cries out for release, you can also. You can pray, and you can hope.
Stanza Three: The bolded letters is a thought that everyone has once in a while. The struggles are unimaginable, and although I can't relate, I will always be here for you. And that's an oath I'll swear by my blood. We often look at others and envy; why are they so confident? How are they so carefree and full of life? Why can't I be like that? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? But the truth is, there's nothing wrong with you. It's all in your head. And that's honesty. You are perfect as you are, and I like to think of it as a test for the future. It makes you stronger.
Inspiration: I love how I relate to you! I always live inside my head, inside movies and books, and it's hard to come back to reality, because reality is messy and imperfect. But there is always someone, or something in your life that is the closest thing you have to perfect, and we embrace it with open arms <333
The night is the comfort, the day is hard to get through, but I mean, you're still here, and that's all that matters. In the moment. Stay in the moment. Don't forget the past, but learn from it. Don't run ahead into the future, but have a rough plan. But live in the present. Live with all that you have. I love you, lays, and I'll always be here. This is such a beautiful poem.
Happy writing, my friend!
~catsz
Thanks Catz
(You spoke from soul and heart, so I shall speak from soul and heart too. Again, my heart and soul are a mess so my comment will be too. I will not hit the review button.)
You may lay down your mask here, dear poetess. No one will be able to control you here, not on the sacred ground of writers and poets. (It is sacred. Sacred is when a human considers something holy, and I hereby consider YWS holy, so YWS is sacred.)
Like Anonymoss said, it's okay to cry, to be upset. And I say that it's okay to scream, too.
But you already cried, didn't you? You are already upset, and this poem is your scream. I can't summon tears or upsetness in myself, but I can scream, and so I will scream for and with you.
I called your sister sun and I will call you moon. She goes along with the world and has a side to her that she doesn't show, after all, like how you hide behind your mask, trying to fit in. Lonely, alone in the night. And lovely. Lonely and lovely. (I have not seen much of you but a glimpse is enough for me to see that you are a lovely person.) You shine in the dark, and they will not see it. But we do.
The shadows are wrong. You will not die alone. You will not die unloved. And I don't know about there, your here, but at this here, at YWS, there are people for you.
One of such people is me. And I am offering to become your star.
I may be far away, but I will be there, well, here, for you. I will not let you go alone, not as long as I can help it. And I will see it when you shine, and I will see it when you do not, and when it is the latter I will try to make you shine again. You may lay down your mask with me, you may be light, free and clear, and together we'll shine and break free of world and mask and prove the shadows wrong again and again.
I am offering my hand, to be your friend. You do not have to take it, but know that I'm offering it.
And I feel like I am forgetting to say a thousand things, but I'll finish here. Tell me if you're ready to take my hand. Again, you do not have to.
I'll pray for the day that you can finally remove your mask. Till that day, I will be waiting and screaming.
- Darlet
you did it again my friend you are so kind like I never seen a single person irl or online. Of course, I will take your hand thanks for everything Darlet.
Thoughts can get really dark sometimes but the wise thing to do is to not listen to them. It's okay to cry, it's okay to be upset, you shouldn't suppress your thoughts and feelings but you shouldn't let it linger either. Things will get better eventually and as of right now and I'm proud of you persevering. It's great that you're letting it out through poetry and despite the theme of the poem, it's beautiful.
)
Okay so I really love the way you describe everything, it's very connected but also abstract which creates a distinct imagery. I suggest trying proses too because your verses are also well suited for proses. My personal favourite line would probably be "The mask is heavy, resting on the floor/ A porcelain lie I’m forced to wear by day."
I hope things get better for you, that being said, great poem! Keep writing
thanks this mean alot to me