The Divided House

This was so deep...I felt your hurt and pain bleeding through the pain, filled with metaphors and imagery. Your words paint the image beautifully. The only thing I noticed thay needs work is really putting emotions into your words, rather then just telling the story. Otherwise, this poem is really great. The pacing and imagery are phenomenal! I hope you feel better soon and your family situation gets better.

Wow, that's really hard, I sympathise.
Just know that seriously every day you get up and go out there into the big wide world without assassinating anyone? You're doing more than is asked of you, so pat yourself on the back.

So, your poem.

Best part: 'My sister’s skin is sold for warmth,

While I am freezing here alone.'

That's powerful imagery, selling one's skin for attention.

What could be changed: Maybe you could organise it into stanzas, for clarity, for a clearer form.

I hope you feel better for having expressed this. Wish I could say it'll all be ok...

Just be well and keep writing X

Just to be clear this whole thing started when I was just 10 years old. Now things have changed and it's gotten a lot worse. My dad got remarried and so did my mom but the woman my dad married is so mean and annoying. She lies and she acts like a kid. She gets jealous when the kids who live with my dad talk about my mom. Anyway, please pray that my sister becomes better I don't like seeing her do these things I wish I was near her to help but I am all the way in America, and she is in Egypt. But Jannah if you're reading this, please read this poem I wrote for you only:

Hey Jannah, I’ve been thinking hard on everything you’ve said,
But the promises you gave to me were empty lies instead.
I’ve been searching day and night to help you through it all,
Trying to be the safety net to catch you when you fall.
I finally found the truth, though it wasn't Zahrah’s word,
It was from a different person that the hidden truth was heard.
I know about the messages, the pictures that you send,
I know the parts of life you've tried so hard to out-defend.
Remember when I asked you if you’d left that life behind?
The things you did in Egypt—you said "no" to ease my mind.
But Jannah, I already knew; I asked so I could see,
If you finally had the courage to be honest here with me.
It broke my heart to realize that the trust just wasn't there,
So, I started searching blindly in a cycle of despair.
“How to make her love me?” “How to make a sister trust?”
Trying to bridge the distance when I felt like I was dust.
I tried to be your shadow, tried to be your guiding light,
But it’s hard to be a presence when I’m nowhere in your sight.
Living thousands of miles away, I try to reach your hand,
But you never speak a word to me; you never take a stand.
I gave you endless chances just to open up the door,
But you keep the locks so heavy—I can’t try it anymore.
I see now that it doesn’t matter how I fight or plea,
If you won't allow a person in, you’ll never let in me.
Why are you hiding everything? I need the truth today,
Not the "okay, no more secrets" that you always like to say.
Because we both know deeply that the words are never true,
And I’m tired of the waiting for a different side of you.
Two months have passed in silence, and I’ve stayed forever loyal,
While I watch our bond and brotherhood begin to break and spoil.
Why can’t you say it’s over and for once just mean the words?
I’m screaming for your honesty but stay here all unheard.
When I said, "no more secrets," Jannah, every word was real,
I told you every burden, every thought, and how I feel.
I never once did hesitate to show my heart to you,
But you hesitate and pull away in everything you do.
I want to be your person—the first one that you seek,
The one you call to vent to when you’re feeling tired or weak.
I want to hear you say my name and tell me how you feel,
But you’d rather tell a stranger thing you’re desperate to conceal.
It feels like it will never be me standing by your side,
While you choose a random boy to be the one in whom you hide.
I guess you just don’t love me enough to let the secrets go,
So, I’m leaving this behind us now; I’ve got to go.
Goodbye, Jannah.
Please, just try to trust me.

Jannah you said no more secrets in the poem you sent to me:

I have seen your side,

now let me tell you mine—

let’s bring it back

and see it from my eyes.

I was fifteen,

already hanging from the last thread,

already dying inside—

no one saw it,

or maybe I just never let it be said.

So when that terrible day came,

I didn’t break—

I lost the fight.

When Salina packed her bags,

I remember it like yesterday—

I was on the phone with Jayden,

my only escape

when I couldn’t trust Dad,

when I had nowhere else to stay.

Samiha came to me,

told me, “It’s going to be okay.

Take care of everyone. Be strong.”

She kissed me goodbye,

told Thabit to behave—

and just like that, she was gone.

You remember the crying—

but I remember the silence after.

I remember talking through tears on the phone,

trying not to shatter.

When the screaming started,

when everything turned into noise,

I knew right then—

that life, that “happy family,”

was destroyed.

Everyone cried,

yeah, we all did—

but you went to the room

and cried alone.

And when I looked at you,

I saw me—

a smaller version,

about to turn into everything I had become.

And I couldn’t let that happen.

So I did what anyone would do—

I lied.

I told you what you needed,

not what was true.

And I hated that lie

from the very first day,

but it was the only thing

keeping you from breaking my way.

Then time moved on—

or at least it tried to.

We got the news—

a new stepmom,

a new life replacing the old.

I smiled.

I laughed.

I played my role.

But inside?

I was screaming so loud

I thought it would show.

That was the day I learned

I couldn’t be real—

that my feelings

had nowhere to go.

I hated Dad.

I locked him out.

I hated that he left

just to replace someone

like we meant nothing at all.

He wasn’t there.

And when he told me to “move on,”

that was it—

that was when I shattered completely,

when I started to fall.

And then you left too.

The only person

keeping me on my feet—

gone.

So I slipped,

slowly, quietly,

bit by bit—

until there was nothing left

to hold on to.

I hide everything now,

because no one sees,

and no one should worry—

that’s what I tell myself

when I can’t breathe.

I died inside,

and I live with it every day—

with my choices,

my addictions,

my distractions,

anything to keep the pain away.

I’m trying to fix it,

slowly—

but the truth doesn’t change:

I was the one in that room

two years ago.

And I know

I can’t survive that again.

You say come back,

like it’s something I can choose,

like I didn’t already lose

parts of myself

I’ll never get back.

I try to let go

of what happened—

I really do.

But trying doesn’t mean

it disappears.

You just don’t see it.

Not everyone survives

the same kind of pain

the same way.

And yeah—

maybe I am terrible

for what I’ve done,

for what I became,

for everything

I am.

So I know my promises have been broken before,

and I know my name doesn’t feel like it means much anymore—

I know I’ve made you doubt me,

made you expect less from my words,

made my “I promise” sound like something that never lasts.

I know that.

But listen to me fully this time,

not like before, not halfway, not through pain or distance or silence—

just listen.

I’m not asking you to believe in a perfect version of me,

because that person doesn’t exist right now.

I’m not asking you to forget what I did,

or excuse the things I hid,

or erase how it felt when I wasn’t honest.

I’m just telling you what I can still give you.

I will talk.

I will stop carrying everything alone like it’s mine to bury,

I will stop locking things behind silence until they turn into something worse inside me.

I will stop pretending I’m fine when I’m not,

and I will stop turning my pain into something I hide from you.

No more secrets.

Not the kind that rot inside me,

not the kind that grow between us,

not the kind that turn love into distance without anyone noticing how it happened.

If I’m breaking, I will say it.

If I’m drowning, I will say it.

If I don’t know how to fix myself, I will say that too.

Because the truth is—

the secrets didn’t protect anyone.

They only left us further apart,

left me alone inside my own head,

and left you trying to understand someone who wasn’t even being real with you.

So this time, I’m not choosing silence.

I’m not promising perfection,

I’m not promising I’ll always be okay,

I’m not promising I won’t mess up again in other ways—

but I am promising that I won’t disappear behind lies anymore.

NO MORE SECRETS.

Was it just another lie. Jannah you still keep secret from me. I would send this to you privately, but I don't have your contact I miss you and wish I could have been by your side.