I made a bubble mountain.
On a water fountain.
The bubbles flew away,
but I still stay.
I smile as a bubble
lands on the rubble.
It goes POP!
And I drop!
And why exactly do I?
'Cause I saw a bee fly!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hello, I'm here with a short review for you on this lovely day, and I saw this was your first poem, so I new I had to come have a look.
Okay let's start with the review shall we?
Right so this poem, was really sweet and it gave me a flash back to my childhood. And it's really nice to no there is still poems like this so sweet, something that will make you read over it a million times.
I just adore the little story behind this poem, it just something I saw myself doing as a child.
I think your punctuation was spot on, everything was in the right place, giving this poem the best flow, making the read easy and enjoyable.
I think this would be a really good poem to read to a child before bed.
And I just love these types of poems. So I hope you will write more like it and post it on YWS soon. Have a great day or night.
your friend
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.
Thanks for the review! I'll be posting more poems for sure.
That's great to hear. I'll keep an eye out for them.
Hallo, I’m here with a short review! This poem is really pure and simple, which I like. I feel like this is some reminder that not everything is always deep, and this poem is lighthearted enough to make you smile~
I feel like you would write awesome children poems :3
Oh and the picture reminded me of spongebob for some reason XD
Annnnywayyysss~ That’ll be all from me
-Alice
Thanks for the review! I think the reason it sounds so much like a childrens' poem is maybe because I am a child? XD I dunno. Thanks though! This means a lot to me.
This was cute and pretty lighthearted! Made me smile and I really enjoyed it.
The picture is pretty, too!
Thank you!
What is that? Over there? It's a review on the Horisun!
This poem was really good! I love the randomness, and I finished with a smile on my face. There wasn't to much I want to point out about this, because I feel this is one of those poems that are simply perfect the way they are.
Though, I don't know, maybe someone else will come along, and nitpick this to the core. Though really, I don't see anything that needs pointing out, great job!
As always, keep writing!
Aww, thank you so much! This means the world to me!!!
