Surrender

Hello!

I'm ILoveBooks from Team SassyLadybugs!

Happy Review Day after all!

I like how the poem is so short and all. I like how the format of this. This is one of the wonderful poem I had read so far.

I like the flow of the poem too. The topic really connected to every wording you wrote here. And so far it got me interested. I do like son short from people! I just dont get how they surrender and what's the reason of it
maybe a little more longer but not so long. I like to know what happen though.

Please be careful with your words though. You might have some errors here. I dont actually see a lot of mistake but that's okay everyone create one. I love how you put everything so good here. I like everything just like I said above.

I dont know why but I think this will inspire a lot of people. Keep writing poems like this actually!

Thanks you for this thing!

-ILoveBooks123

Oh a sweet sight for sore eyes, short poems <3

It is review day and the Kat is here for Team WHY?

Welcome to YWS!

You have a really nice flow going on here which is slightly interrupted in the third stanza but not noticeably so, just keep that in mind. I'm just going to be honest, I don't understand what is happening in the second stanza at all . Why is this person afraid of falling on their feet and whats with the not broken arms? The last two lines make sense though . I wish this poem was a little longer just so we could understand why this person feels so lost and still has hope, what exactly made them this way ? "Lays to far to hope again" is it to far away ? careful word choice here.

Enough negativity, let's talk positive things before I wrap this up . It's very visually appalling with the line pattern you have going on . I love how you compared lies to a web in the first stanza ad how you personified freedom in the last rather than just flat out saying what you wanted to say, very poetic and I hope to see more such things in your future works.

Awesome little poem
~Kat

Hi! Kazey here to leave a review!

Wow! I really enjoyed this poem! I liked the structure a lot, and feel that you pulled off the rigid structure well. Often, a rigid structure makes the poem sound... well... rigid. But this flowed very well, so well done on that.

I also enjoyed how your poem was not forced into rhyming. While there was rhyme there, I had to actually read the poem again for it to register, because it is very subtle, but I like that. It, again, helps the poem to flow well and have a nice feel to it, so again, well done.

There's just one thing i would improve on, just a small grammar error, where it says:

"Freedoms soft tune

Lays to far to hope again"

The first "to" should be "too".

That's all. Well done and keep writing!
~Kazey

Good morning! Delirium here to give you a review!

I's like to start off by saying, wow. This piece is stunning. When I see short, formatted pieces with such structure I get a little nervous, expecting amateur and common rhymes. But quite contraire, you have amazed me. I simply love the way this poem flowed with very little rhyme, using mostly the sounds of the words themselves to propel it onward. I love the separation between stanzas, and how you managed to convey so much within the boundaries of three four-lined stanzas.

The only change I would make is here:

Freedoms soft tune

Lays to far to hope again

I love this piece.