Marionette

That was wonderful, thanks a bunch!

Although that great critique was a pleasure to read and I can see what you mean with very nearly every comment, I must apologize for the randomness- it is actually me and it seems to be instilled in next to everything I write.
That piece in particular was written late at night at a time I wasn't even sure I was conscious, rereading it now I can see many things I would change if I could be bothered and most likely will at some point.

So I shall thank you for actually reading it and even taking the time to comment on virtually every line, you must be a rather wonderful person. I'm very glad you liked the ending.

And I've never heard that song but will make a point of listening to it.
I shall also make a point of reviewing the work of two others before I post anything more.
Thank you again!
Laramie
xox.

Hello, Laramie!

My head lolls on my chest like death, 'Lolls' and 'death' seem to clash with each other too harshly, reconsider word choice

I’m somewhere else- someplace syrupy and pleasant and laughable. 'Somewhere' and 'someplace' together = repetitive. 'Syrupy' is a little funny, and it stood out alone instead of the whole idea, which would be preferable. Also, what you mean by 'laughable'? Something to laugh at or to laugh in?

When I dreamcomma I escape. Escape what?

Ohcomma let me dream.

Please.

But a tug at the strings,

The body jerks to life without me and I’m up already. A little contradicting – 'without me', but still 'I'm up already'?

I struggle myself together and bundle my mind back to this world. [b]Too wordy to be read easily. It also breaks the flow with its length.

Another day. It's grey. I like the simpleness, though I can't tell how it connects with the rest of the poem.

One string is pulled after the other and I’m into action.

To work on the train and I don’t even see the others any longer. This is also too long. 'I don't see any longer' is a bit awkward, I think – maybe rephrase? Challenge yourself and see how few words you need to express something, because sometimes less is more.

When I dreamcomma I escape.

Oh let me dream again.

Please.

I’ve given up craning to catch a glimpse of this skilled puppeteer. Remember what I said about the 'less is more' thing? This line could do with the same advice. 'I submit myself to look at this magic man' is shorter, but it means basically the same thing. Though I do admit, that example was really lame.

I know there is no hope. Why? And hope of what? Explain, expand.

A tug and my foot lifts, another and the other follows. Another and the other? Ditch either, you won't need it.

Up the stairs, down the stairs, around the corner without thought. I like this, but I don't like so much the 'without thought' thing – it's a little awkward.

This isn’t me; this is a puny individual, a mere marionette. [b]Semi-colons in a poem hurt my eyes – you could replace it with a period. Why the 'puny'? Is it to mean the same thing than 'weak'?

Pushed without any say through life and Any say? I don't know that expression. The 'and' in the end makes this uncomfortably long and panting, do you actually need it at all?

Up the stairs, down the stairs. I like this.

I’ve given up long ago, A little plain...

This is how the world is now,

What’s the point in fighting?

What’s the point in it all anymore? The two lines together: Somewhat plain, and also a little emo... sorry.

But sometimes,

Just sometimes I wonder what would happen if I cut those strings. Nice ending!