This is my prologue for a book am working on called dragonstone i am posting this for you all to review please if you see anything i need to edit or change about my prologue say so the more reviews the better.
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Hello! Ripple here on this outstanding Review Day.
So, I really would have liked to read the prologue and critique it, but it seems to have vanished. Regardless, you asked for a review, and I would hate to disappoint, so I guess that I'll just review what you have here.
First off, it is definitely a run-on sentence. You could actually split it into three by just adding periods.
Secondly, there are quite a few grammatical errors besides the run-on sentence.
There should be an "I" before "am."dragonstone" should be capitalized, and likely italicized to indicate that it is a title.
"i" should be capitalized, and maybe put a comma before "please."
"i" once again should be capitalized, there should be a comma before "say," and you need something to separate "so" and "the."
I think that's it as far as grammar goes. Otherwise, it concisely gets the point across; you wrote a prologue, you need reviews. I wish I could do more to help your prologue; "Dragonstone" sounds interesting. Keep writing!
I can't wait to see it on here!!! (As we know each other in real life!)
Hi, Lantz! You asked me to look at this earlier but I didn't really get time to review. Some of the sentences were run-ons but that's a simple fix. I have to edit run-on sentences all the time, so... you're not alone. Your book sounds amazing! Please PM me when more gets posted, in case I somehow don't see it. Can't wait to read more!
Lantz, where's the prologue? I really want to see it...
My Prologue.