Anna

by LanaBrown
  • August 28, 2012
  • Poetry
  • Dramatic · Horror
Anna was a demented girl, she lived inside her own twisted world. She saw things that were not there, she took a razor and shaved off her hair. She sat locked up in her room, anxiously waiting her impending doom. She talked to the ghost that she would soon befriend, pondering how her life would end. Her daddy left her to go to work one day, he hoped when he returned she would be okay. Anna looked in the mirror at a girl, she had a pretty smile and bouncy, blonde curls. The girl stepped out of the mirror holding a knife, she stepped towards Anna, trying to end her life. She lunged at Anna and they fell down the stairs, Anna got up first, the knife at her feet. She grabbed it, closed her eyes and severed the girls hands, the blood came pouring, both girls winced and passed out. Anna's dad found her there -bled to death- not okay When he returned home from work that day
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JesusFreak900
Review
JesusFreak900 wrote a review · Tue Sep 04, 2012 12:40 am

This poem/ story gave me the hebee-jebees. It probably does not help that it is night out.

First, I'm sure you realize the complete lack of punctuation in this story. It was quite difficult to read. Adding periods where needed obviously makes a world of difference.

Next, there are a few simple spelling errors such as "knofe".

Other than that, the story is totally screwed up and I love it! The dynamic of the father leaving her alone in the house even adds to the feeling of isolation. Well done! Keep writing!



FRIED FISH ON A FALAFEL
— hop (TheHoplessRomantic)