The 30 Day Trial - Chapter 1

by LakeOfCancer

Published December 7, 2017

16+ Language Mature Content

In Novels/ Stories In General

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

PreviousNext

-Chapter One-

  He looked longingly into her deep green eyes, lightly touching her hair with his calloused hands.

  “I love you,” He breathed, bending down. I gasped knowing his intentions.

  “River!”

  I lifted my head from my book, my mother’s demanding voice startling me. She usually knows not to disturb me while I’m reading.

  Setting down the thick romance novel I had been so caught up in at my desk, I fixed my clothes, and walked out of my bedroom. 

  My house is a blanket of warmth, I noticed as I walked down the stairs of my small house.

  Being a rogue wasn’t glamourous; they’re treated like dirt, hated among the pack community.

  I walked down the hallway, stopping in the lounge room, for which I knew my mother would be.

  I was apprehensive at first, worried that I was in the wrong because I tend to find trouble easily.

  I walked into the cozy lounge, the vanilla sofa greeting me. A foreign woman sat on the sofa, holding a cup of tea from one of my mother’s posh tea cups in her small, aged hands.

  The woman appeared to be in her early 50’s, with light grey hair and wrinkled cheeks. She had a bright smile, and bright blue eyes that were barely visible behind her thick glasses. She wore a pristine white coat, along with polished black shoes.

  One of her shriveled hands was holding a small metal cart, that had what looked like a safe upon it.

  She looked straight up like a nurse, leaving me to want to trace my steps back to bedroom where my comfy bed and alluring book awaited me.

  The old woman and my mother, Karen stood, Karen looking like she just won the lottery.

  “River Wolff, my name is Linda and I’m here to inform you about what is going to happen within the next two months.” Linda’s voice was strangely deep for a woman’s, but calming all the same, as she stuck her pale hand out.

  As confused and equally nervous as I was, I took her delicate hand and shook it.

  “I’m sorry, can you please explain,” I asked, glancing at my mother, who was beaming widely, her cheeks bright pink and red.

  “Congratulations, you have been chosen for the 30 Day Trial!” She yelped like it was the best thing in the world, while my heart sank, and my stomach turned over.

  “I-I don’t understand,” I stuttered, looking at my mother then back at Linda.

  I don’t want to be in the 30 Day Trial, let alone in the Nightmare Pack.

  Every year, 100 juvenile wolves are selected to participate in the 30 Day Trial, and only 50 of those wolves make it in the Nightmare Pack.

  At the same time, all wolves over 50 years old are kicked out of the pack and thrown out to be rogues, like over half of the Werewolf community.

  Everyone except for an Alpha are born rogues, if you wish to be a pack member, then you must work for it.

  The Nightmare Pack is known worldwide for their courage, strength, and high number of pack warriors.

  “But I didn’t sign up,” I told her sternly, shaking my head at her absurd idea.

  “Oh darling, the rules have changed this year! You no longer sign up, you are nominated!” She cheered, making my gaze focus on my mother’s guilty face.

  She’s always insisted that I sign up for the 30 Day Trial, but I always refused, saying I wasn’t interested. It was the truth, but it was also because I knew that they wouldn’t keep me long. I would just be a rogue in the end.

  Plus, I was content with being a rogue, it gave me more freedom.

  “I’m sorry sweetie, I thought it was best,” My mother defended herself, putting up her hands to show she was sorry.

  “I don’t want to go, can I pull out?” I turned to Linda, who shook her head grimly, seemingly confused as to why I wouldn’t want to be in the Nightmare Pack.

  “No, we’ve had so many potential She Wolves pull out last year, so the Alpha King set up a new rule; you must attend.”

  Linda’s stern words made my mouth form a frown, but I mainly wanted to let the Earth swallow me up.

  I had a sibling, it would be fine, my mother wouldn’t make me do something that I didn’t want to do.

  Linda didn’t wait for my reply, but turned away to the safe, unlocking it with a key that hung around her neck.

  I watched nervously, my hands sweaty and my heart racing steadily against my ribs.

  I yelped when she pulled out a small needle, and a paper looking thing.

  “What is that?” I asked her hoarsely, swallowing a large lump in my throat. 

  “Before you go into the 30 Day Trial, two tests must be taken, and the one I do is the Blood Test.” I shivered at the word blood; the word I hated most in the whole world.

Linda grabbed my thin wrist, which I tried to snatch away, but Linda wouldn’t let go, her nails digging into my skin.

“Don’t struggle or it’ll hurt even more,” She growled, her calm nature gone.

I couldn’t help the whimper that left my mouth as Linda dabbed my wrist with some chemical that burned slightly, and grabbed the needle between her fingers.

  “Now, this test is to make sure there is no diseases in your blood that could be passed into the pack,” She sang, her cheery voice coming back, as she pricked my pure wrist.

The pain wasn’t as harsh as expected, only leaving a small sting that lasted around five seconds.

“What happens if I’m diseased?” I asked through gritted teeth, looking as my blood spread around the silver needle.

“Someone else who was nominated will take your place,” She said simply, placing the little pad over the wound, then lifting it.

She popped it into a little bag, with my last name Wolff written on it.

A glimmer of hope showed beneath her words, I hoped I somehow had some disease to get her out of it.

   Putting a plaster on, Linda left the house with my blood in a safe.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
deleted221222
Review
deleted221222 wrote a review Review · Dec 9, 2017

Hi, I’m Thundahguy, and wolves are the ****. Here’s my review:

Truth be told, I haven’t ever read a werewolf story, for they always seemed… alien... to me. A Trials and Tribulations story, however, is my bread and butter. I’ll try to review this to the best of my ability all the way until the end, so bear with me until then.

I don’t know about the importance of the other characters beside River, so I’m only going to focus on her. Hopefully, she’s not going to be your average Spunky Female Protagonist™, since it’s become a staple here. From what I’ve read, she definitely seems more like an average teen, even if she is a rogue. It’s a breath of fresh air, which is saying a something. Though, did she really have to have ‘Wolff’ as her surname? There better be other werewolves with even worse names.

As for the 30 Day Trial and the Nightmare pack, it’s a bit different from your average trial and elite group. I don’t know how this story will progress, but it doesn’t seem to be that intensive. Most trial stories usually only allow the top 10% or less to pass, but the Nightmare pack allows 50. It’s just a warning, as River will simply have to perform above adequate to pass, and therefore wouldn’t be a very exciting story by the end.

So, that’s my review. Nothing else to really comment on. Whenever you release a chapter, let me know, because I’d like to follow this if I can.

Random avatar
KatjaDawn
Review
KatjaDawn wrote a review Review · Dec 7, 2017

Hey Lake! I rarely review stories, but I'm gonna give it a shot. Bear with me!

First and foremost, I am in love with this story so far! I'm a creature of habit, and ever since I was young, I've loved stories involving lycanthropy in any shape or form. Your story does not disappoint at all. I find it unique in it's set up.... instead of a typical werewolves aren't known, and some character discovers it somehow, your character is a young she-wolf being selected to participate in a trial to join a pack. For some reason she doesn't want to participate, which has me wondering why, other than she apparently won't be kept? But overall, I am very excited to read more! And may I just say that your writing style is absolutely amazing! I love how easily you put details into your story without it feeling like forced-exposition. That is the most difficult part of writing, in my opinion, and you do this very easily it seems.

My only suggestions are not at all on your story, but on your format.

He looked longingly into her deep green eyes, lightly touching her hair with his calloused hands.

“I love you,” He breathed, bending down. I gasped knowing his intentions.

Here, because this isn't actual dialogue, maybe put it in italics, so that it is separated from the actual story? When the mother yells River's name, it all looks like one.

And lastly, your sentences are all separated quite a bit, where I feel like they could be paragraphs at times. It may help make it an easier read by grouping proper sentences together. Most of the dialogue was separated properly, however...

I lifted my head from my book, my mother’s demanding voice startling me. She usually knows not to disturb me while I’m reading.

Setting down the thick romance novel I had been so caught up in at my desk, I fixed my clothes, and walked out of my bedroom.


I feel like sentences like these could be grouped together. The wording would have to be changed slightly, but I think it would read easier. Purely optional, of course.

Again, I am very excited to see where you take this! Your story is full of potential and I hope to see a new chapter soon! Great job! :)

Keep writing,

-Katja



something about rain makes you want to be in love
— canopy